Need female friendships... But they just arent happening! :(

[C'est La Vie]

You see, I am a jeans/t-shirt type gal, but I make myself look "girly" when I dress that way. I am a girl on the outside, but on the inside... I think I'm probably more masculine.

 

I have ALWAYS had a problem when it came to female friendships. I talk to females, and we may hang out a time or two, but then it fizzles out and we're just the, "Hey! How are you doing?" every couple of weeks type. It's just like... what happened? Why can't I keep a friendship going with a girl?

 

When I'm out at work, school, whatever, I will see groups of girlfriends walking around, laughing, having fun... and I envy them. I wish I had that. Two or three girlfriends that I could count on to hang out with a few times, talk to when I'm feeling down, etc., would be great. But I don't have that.

 

Now I do have friends, but they're all... guys. Some gay, some straight, but still guys. Looking through my phone text messages over the past few days, I have several messages in there from 7 different guys, and one text message from one girl... And on Facebook chat, I have six chat sessions open - all guys. Don't get me wrong, I love guy friends, but... I get so lonely. And I'm noticing that a lot of the male friendships don't play out for long. One of us ends up falling for the other, feelings aren't mutual, and things begin to dwindle down. Or we end up getting intimate (this has happened once), and then they run off and don't want to talk to me anymore.

 

I'm just... lonely. I want a long-lasting female friendship or two. This past summer was spent in NYC, and I roomed with 4 other girls. I was thinking, "great! I can build friendships with my new roomies!" What ended up happening? They all built friendships with each other, while I went a different direction and... built a couple of decent friendships with a couple of boys. My roommates from over the summer still say "Hi" to me on Facebook occasionally, but...oooh.... that's nothing.

 

Why do girls hate me so much? Or maybe they're just weirded out by me? I don't understand why though...

 

 

Here it is, a Friday. I HATE being at home and I want to go out tonight, but... I have no girls to go out with. A couple of guy friends invited me out tonight, but... I'm just tired of hanging out with the guys right now, you know?

[that girl]

There are two possible problems here, every girl you have ever known or you.

 

You lean towards making every girl the problem, but odds are the problem is you.

 

I'm not saying there is anything wrong with you, though I do wonder if you have a negative mindset when it comes to other women, but it is more likely something you are doing than every girl you've ever known.

 

If you're a cute girl, it is easier to make friends with guys because they will seek you out on the basis of your looks. You are going to have to make more of an effort with women.

[Shannyn]

I second what "that girl" said. Making friends with guys is easier for women because guys are more willing to approach and strike up a conversation. What you need to do is try the same thing... with other girls. And don't just limit it to the physical realm- join websites or forums that share your interests that also have a lot of female members (sites like Livejournal come to mind).