He's planning to leave her...

[TRaczaj]

I don't see her waiting by the phone or anything like that. She has gone to see him a few times. But, like others have said, their breakup might only be temporary and I think she knows that.

 

Her and I have a pretty similar background... We grew up in the same town, working class families, etc. She was in a pretty bad relationship a long time ago. But it seems like she's worked through it pretty well. I know she went to counseling and all that afterwards.

 

I know a lot can happen in two weeks. If we end up soending Halloween together, great. But I know not to bank on it.

[whichwayisup]

Temporary. Enough said. Which means keep your hands and mouth to yourself when it comes to her and what you feel. Timing is wrong, remember that.

 

In the meantime, focus on other things than "her". Put those thoughts of having her out of your head. Make sense? Detach, take a step back..

[TRaczaj]

Some of the guys I work with are starting to tease me about her...

 

A bunch of us go out after work a couple times a week, and sometimes we go to the bar were she works.

 

All these guys have different names they call the bar tenders there, not so much to their faces. And all these guys I work with call her Pippy. She's a redhead and there was one night we were in there and she had her hair in braids. So, since then she's been known as Pippy...

 

And I've gotten comments at work like "So have you gotten any from Pippy yet?"

 

None of them know I've already slept with her.

[You Go Girl]

And don't tell them you've slept with her. You probably weren't planning on it, I'm just making sure!

The Halloween idea sounds like a good test. A little harmless flirting, and either she responds positively or backs away from you.

If it's very positive, hold her hand again or put your arm around her shoulder, and listen to her body language and response.

And if you ever do give in to your desire and kiss her, make it worth your while! Nothing ackward! Think 007!

Pippy Longstocking...book from my childhood.

[TRaczaj]

And don't tell them you've slept with her. You probably weren't planning on it, I'm just making sure!

The Halloween idea sounds like a good test. A little harmless flirting, and either she responds positively or backs away from you.

If it's very positive, hold her hand again or put your arm around her shoulder, and listen to her body language and response.

And if you ever do give in to your desire and kiss her, make it worth your while! Nothing ackward! Think 007!

Pippy Longstocking...book from my childhood.

 

Oh hell no, I won't tell the guys at work anything. I wouldn't disrespect her that way. And it's not like my co workers need to know about my sex life anyway. I'm sure most don't want that visual, lol.

 

As of now Halloween is still on. It won't be just her and I though, if anyone is wondering. It will be a group of us, going to a city about three hours away.

 

This could get tricky, considering we both will probably be drinking. If I kiss her I'll make sure it's not awkward... The fact that I've kissed her before will probably work to my advantage there.

 

 

Today she wanted to go take pictures in these woods outside of town. It's creepy there. especially this time of the year. She was going to go with her friend, but her friend had something come up at last minute and couldn't go. So she asked if I wanted to come with her. I had a good time with her out there today.

[dreamingoftigers]

How is this going for now?

 

Make sure that you don't get too friendzoned.

[TRaczaj]

How is this going for now?

 

Make sure that you don't get too friendzoned.

 

Things have been going pretty well. Her and I have been hanging out here a lot and having a good time. The fact that I'm recovering from an injury right now means she has to help me out with stuff around the house. It's not that she didn't before. But now, housework is kind of a joint effort between the two of us, rather then two people working separately.

 

She has said some things that seem flirtatious. But I don't know if she really is being flirtatious or if it's just wishful thinking on my part.

 

Like the other night... I was cooking and I had my hair in a ponytail. I usually do that when I cook because my hair is really long. And she was helping me cook... And she said out of nowhere that I look good with my hair like that. She's seen me hundreds of times with my hair like that... Yes, I usually have it down, but whenever I cook (which is pretty often) it's not down. So I don't know why she picked now to pay that compliment. She's had plenty of chances to say it before.

 

I'm getting pretty excited about next weekend...

[whichwayisup]

How's your friend doing? You still visiting him daily? Even if he isn't talking much, he still needs your support. Remember, he was/is your friend first before her.

[TRaczaj]

How's your friend doing? You still visiting him daily? Even if he isn't talking much, he still needs your support. Remember, he was/is your friend first before her.

 

No, I'm not. I don't see the point. If he won't even come out of the guest room when I'm there and the one time he did come out he didn't say anything to me, then why should I bother? I know that makes me seem like a cold hearted douche, but he is being just as cold hearted to her and all the other people who care about him.

[You Go Girl]

No, I'm not. I don't see the point. If he won't even come out of the guest room when I'm there and the one time he did come out he didn't say anything to me, then why should I bother? I know that makes me seem like a cold hearted douche, but he is being just as cold hearted to her and all the other people who care about him.

 

Well, if you care for the guy as a friend, then you go anyway to see him, because you know that one day he will come out hiding and emotionally engage again. That's part of mental illness.

But are you avoiding him with guilt, knowing you have to chose? You can't keep him as a friend and go get her, can you?

[TRaczaj]

That's definitely part of it. I can't exactly be all friendly with him while trying to start something with his ex girlfriend.

 

But, I also recognize that it was his decision to leave her. He knew I was attracted to her. He moved out of the house and left me there alone with her.

 

Her and I are still going out this weekend... I don't know what all will happen.

[whichwayisup]

But, I also recognize that it was his decision to leave her. He knew I was attracted to her. He moved out of the house and left me there alone with her.

 

T, you seem to forget the fact the only reason why he broke up with her is because of where he's at right now. A mess. Had breakdown, is depressed and in a bad place. Did you ever read up on depression and what it does to people when they're at their lowest?

 

I get that you don't want to see him, he isn't being nice and all, but that IS part of the disease.. Don't use that to justify what you're doing with his recent ex girlfriend. You can say no. You're going to blame HIM if something happens between you and her because he moved out. That's warped..

 

You're going to do what you're going to do reguardless of what I say or anybody else says so when this blows up, OWN your part in this. And be ready to face the fact there's a good chance that one day you won't be able to look your friend in the eye honestly when he gets better.

[TRaczaj]

T, you seem to forget the fact the only reason why he broke up with her is because of where he's at right now. A mess. Had breakdown, is depressed and in a bad place. Did you ever read up on depression and what it does to people when they're at their lowest?

 

I get that you don't want to see him, he isn't being nice and all, but that IS part of the disease.. Don't use that to justify what you're doing with his recent ex girlfriend. You can say no. You're going to blame HIM if something happens between you and her because he moved out. That's warped..

 

You're going to do what you're going to do reguardless of what I say or anybody else says so when this blows up, OWN your part in this. And be ready to face the fact there's a good chance that one day you won't be able to look your friend in the eye honestly when he gets better.

 

I know why he broke up with her... And I did read up on depression. But even after reading up on it, I still don't think mental illness is a get out of jail free card. Yes, he's depressed, but he left her, and has been a complete ass to her every time she's tried to be nice to him. He broke her heart. I would never do that to her.

 

I won't blame him if anything happens between her and I. That's all on her and I. I know this could all blow up... But to be honest, it's a risk I'm willing to take.

 

I've had feelings for her for a long time... and if I don't at least try to pursue her while I have the chance, then I'll always wonder what if...

[TRaczaj]

I meant to update this thread yesterday, but i was exausted from being out all night and wasn't online much.

 

I'm not sure how much I should go into detail here... but something did happened this weekend between her and I. Now I am not really sure where to go from here...

[dreamingoftigers]

I meant to update this thread yesterday, but i was exausted from being out all night and wasn't online much.

 

I'm not sure how much I should go into detail here... but something did happened this weekend between her and I. Now I am not really sure where to go from here...

 

Go forward! You've had these feelings for a long time. Kick some ass finally.

[Pleco]

What happened? You can go into detail here. I'm really curious, been following your story for a long time since you first posted about it ages ago. I really hope it works out for you, you seem like a really nice guy.

[TRaczaj]

Go forward! You've had these feelings for a long time. Kick some ass finally.

 

I know that, just not sure what the next step is. That will be up to her.

[dreamingoftigers]

I know that, just not sure what the next step is. That will be up to her.

 

Well you gotta admit that you were hesitant before, so I was just trying to give you a kick in the pants. I also know that a lot of posters on here were discouraging you.

 

In the long run it does not matter so much what happens with this particular girl, as long as you flex those pursuing and bonding muscles, so that even if she is not for you, you are far more confident and have learned more from being courageous and gaining experience.

[You Go Girl]

Maybe this isn't the time to ask her questions. Just make things happen.

[TRaczaj]

I don't plan on questioning her about where things are/will be going. I don't want her to feel pressured.

 

What happened this weekend wouldn't even be a big dealk to most people. But it was to me... I didn't sleep with her if anyone is wondering.

[TRaczaj]

I've held off posting this because I wasn't sure if I really wanted to deal with the tongue lashing I will no doubt receive... But, a couple night ago, her and I got caught up in a moment I guess... and long story short, we slept together.

[dreamingoftigers]

I've held off posting this because I wasn't sure if I really wanted to deal with the tongue lashing I will no doubt receive... But, a couple night ago, her and I got caught up in a moment I guess... and long story short, we slept together.

 

Sounds like you wanted to deal with the tongue lashing

 

Well, take it easy and see where it goes from here

[TRaczaj]

Sounds like you wanted to deal with the tongue lashing

 

Well, take it easy and see where it goes from here

 

Well, it is what it is... If anyone here wants to rip into me, I honestly don't care. It happened. I can't change that, and I really don't regret it either.

 

I wondered at first if she would regret it... but it doesnt seem like she does.

[carhill]

Here's a switch....

 

I want you to plow the field with her. Have sex with her *every* night. Push through the barriers. All-in now, friend. You made a decision. Now go with it. *Own it*

[TRaczaj]

Here's a switch....

 

I want you to plow the field with her. Have sex with her *every* night. Push through the barriers. All-in now, friend. You made a decision. Now go with it. *Own it*

 

Yea, I know there's no turning back at this point. I knew that going in but emotions and everything else were too overpowering.

 

The day after it happened we both had to get up pretty early and go to work. And she had to work at both her jobs that day, so I didn't see her all day. But we were texting back and forth all throughout the day.

 

She's at work right now...

 

I'll tell you what, it was really intense and really passionate. And she stayed and slept in my bed afterwords. I was expecting her to get up and go to her room when we were done.

 

And I do feel bad, if anyone is wondering. Most people reading this probably think I'm a liar, but I really do feel bad. I only hope something good comes out of it with her, that way all this wont be for nothing.