Guest Posted February 25, 2004 Share Posted February 25, 2004 Okay, first let me briefly summarize my relationship. We've been going out for about 8 months now, and it's been fantastic. Not a single argument, and I enjoy her company more every time I see her. I'm not commitment-phobic, and I've already made it clear to her that I intend to propose to her once I get out of school (college) and get myself on track. She's told me that she would say yes if I asked her that very moment. So, what I'm wondering is, (and I can fill in the background a bit more if it helps) is it normal to feel a little afraid of how invested you are in a relationship? I know she would never intentionally hurt me, and she's never given me any reason to doubt her feelings for me, but I can't help the little twinge of anxiety I get when I think about what she means to me. Even though I'm confident she wouldn't break up with me, lurking in the background is the certainty that if she did, I would be a total wreck. Part of it has to do with my lack of trust in my own intuition. I'd call myself pretty much a loner, and the few friends I've made in my life have never been extremely close. So I have little experience socializing with other people. I would say my self-esteem is fairly normal, with a few mild insecurities scattered here and there. But I'm not really convinced of my own skill in interpreting my relationships with other people. I guess I haven't really set this up for gathering advice, but knowing someone else has also felt this way would go a long way towards easing my mind. I didn't sleep last night thinking about it (so I apologize if I rambled a bit). Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted February 25, 2004 Share Posted February 25, 2004 First of all, don't get into the habit of worrying about problems before they happen because they may never take place. Secondly, trust that you can handle whatever comes your way in your life. We often find out we have more strength than we ever suspected; that is knowledge that comes to us in the thick of difficulties. Don't set yourself up for collapse by telling yourself that you'd be destroyed if something happened to you as a couple. Know that you would suffer, but you would survive as we all have. Link to post Share on other sites
Captain Nemo Posted February 26, 2004 Share Posted February 26, 2004 Where would the reward in your relationship be if there weren't any risks? There is always the risk that things will go to hell and your life will suck for a while but since you seem 100% happy in the present, why don't you live for the day and not worry abou that stuff? You'll be even happier that way. Captain Nemo Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted February 26, 2004 Share Posted February 26, 2004 Thanks for the replies. Bringing up some points that were made...it's odd for me to be feeling this way, because I'm normally not cautious in other aspects of my life. I've never been afraid of taking risks. Whether that should be chalked up to stupidity or youthful enthusiasm is a topic for another thread. So maybe that's why this bugged me enough to post here. Anyway, I feel much better now. I'm taking both of your advice, having confidence in my own resiliency and living for the moment. Link to post Share on other sites
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