New job is making me more depressed

[Hersheys]

I lost my job back in April. A job I loved and paid me very well. I spent months looking for another and throughout the process of job hunting I was going through a tough time dealing with a soul crushing heartbreak.

 

I waited for months to find a job and now that I have a new one why don't I feel even just a tiny bit of excitement? The new job pays me a lot less and I'm in an entry-level position. I had to take the job because I was scared of never finding one again and my bills are piling up.

 

People in the office have been ok and the job is not stressful at all. I'm supposed to be excited and ready to make a fresh start but the thing is I hate going to work. When I wake up I feel despair and pain in my heart at the thought of going to the office again. I'm on the verge of bursting to tears many times in the office. When I attend meetings, I'm not listening at all. I'm just constantly ruminating, missing my old job.

 

Is there ever hope of liking this new job? A new job is supposed to help a person feel a little less depressed but why is this new one making me even more depressed and hopeless?

[jerbear]

I once had a job that was good for me and challenged me but it did not excite me or even in the right direction or field.

 

I got upset, depressed (weather didn't help), torn up, and even a fit or two.

 

It is not easy for everyone to get a job, even entry level jobs. I have problems getting jobs even now.

 

For me the lessons learned was this job leads to another. I've learned what I can and can't do (which in the business world, not much.) Just take the current job as a lessons learned. Also it might just be the kick or spark that lights up something inside you; entrepreneur???

 

In the end the best thing you can do is get the next gig and move foward.

[TopCop15]

I know what you are going through with being depressed at a new job Check out my post awhile back: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t223101/

 

It's so hard to because everyone around you say things like, "Be lucky you found a job in this economy." While that is certainly true, but if you aren't happy, you aren't happy. It's hard to force yourself to be happy in a situation where you know you aren't comfortable. Thats what my problem was, I was completely uncomfortable in my work environment. Hindsight being 20.20 i now realize that type of environment wasnt conducive to my mental health.

 

In your case, you loved your old job and everything about it. Well, now you have a new job and it isnt the same. I think you are selling yourself new job short. The problem may liein that you are constantly thinking about the old job all the time. Constantly comparing the new with the old and that isn't fair. What can you do is find similarities of the new and the old and run with that. You say the people are ok and the job isnt stressful, that's a positive right there.

 

It does take time to get comfortable at a new job, however, if you really truly feel it isn't a fit for you mentally, you probably will need a change. Hope everything works out for you! I:bunny:

[spiderowl]

Sounds like you are feeling depressed, still grieving over your old job. It's not surprising if you had no choice about leaving it and no choice about taking the new one. It's enough to make anyone feel depressed and powerless. Perhaps you need to cry more, at home maybe when you are in private, to help get this out of your system. Seeing a counsellor might help too, if it's possible. I don't think you've mentally made the transition from one job to the other yet so you aren't open to the good things that might come from it - new colleagues, new friends, new opportunities in the future. I'm sure that will come but it may take a little time.

 

I do think it's a good thing to make a life for yourself outside work, to do other things and build a network of friends and contacts. Work doesn't always give positive feedback and the warmth you would get from friends is often lacking. A network outside work is really important for supporting you and giving you a space where you don't have to meet anyone's expectations unless you choose too.

 

Finally, if you don't feel better soon, you could see a doctor and consider therapy or anti-depressants to help you over this time. They can make a difference.

 

P.S. I note what another poster said about everyone saying you are lucky to have a job these days. This is true, but as someone who remembers the previous serious recession (or should we call it depression?), it always seems that when a Tory government is in power in the UK then unemployment rises dramatically and we are suddenly told to be glad we've got a job. It becomes a mantra and we workers have to knuckle down, work for low pay and not complain. It becomes an employer's market then. Accidental? I doubt it.

Edited September 25, 2010 by spiderowl

[Hersheys]

I once had a job that was good for me and challenged me but it did not excite me or even in the right direction or field.

 

I got upset, depressed (weather didn't help), torn up, and even a fit or two.

 

It is not easy for everyone to get a job, even entry level jobs. I have problems getting jobs even now.

 

For me the lessons learned was this job leads to another. I've learned what I can and can't do (which in the business world, not much.) Just take the current job as a lessons learned. Also it might just be the kick or spark that lights up something inside you; entrepreneur???

 

In the end the best thing you can do is get the next gig and move foward.

 

Hi jerbear,

 

My resume isn't looking very good so i have no choice but to stick to this new one. I just feel so trapped and hopeless that I'm gonna have to endure days, months of being in this new job. I'm glad it's weekend already, I probably need to regroup and make some little changes. I'm trying to make a nice start on Monday. My co-workers are probably starting to notice my down-in-the-dumps aura but honestly I really don't care if they notice....ugh I'm so bad. I just want the pain and longing to lessen.

[Hersheys]

I know what you are going through with being depressed at a new job Check out my post awhile back: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t223101/

 

It's so hard to because everyone around you say things like, "Be lucky you found a job in this economy." While that is certainly true, but if you aren't happy, you aren't happy. It's hard to force yourself to be happy in a situation where you know you aren't comfortable. Thats what my problem was, I was completely uncomfortable in my work environment. Hindsight being 20.20 i now realize that type of environment wasnt conducive to my mental health.

 

In your case, you loved your old job and everything about it. Well, now you have a new job and it isnt the same. I think you are selling yourself new job short. The problem may liein that you are constantly thinking about the old job all the time. Constantly comparing the new with the old and that isn't fair. What can you do is find similarities of the new and the old and run with that. You say the people are ok and the job isnt stressful, that's a positive right there.

 

It does take time to get comfortable at a new job, however, if you really truly feel it isn't a fit for you mentally, you probably will need a change. Hope everything works out for you! I:bunny:

 

Hi TopCop,

 

I read your thread and I could have written it. I'm going through exactly what you went through. In my old job, I was treated like a rockstar too. We were like a big family. There was some competition but I loved as it kept me to my toes. It was exciting. One thing I sorely miss about it is the hustle and bustle of it. I was always on the go, looking after different departments. The job was stressful but in a way that is fulfilling at the end of the day.

 

The thing I don't like about the new job is because I feel like it is such a dead end job unlike in your case where it could lead you to better and bigger things. I have withdrawn from a lot of my friends because I don't want them to know how miserable I am in it.

 

I took on the new job to escape from all the thinking and regret over the things that happened back in March & April, as I was beginning to lose my old job. But really there is no escape..... I have cried many times as I am driving to the office. Many times I just want to go back home, hide under sheets and sleep.

 

I feel guilty for not seeing the good in finding this new job. A lot of people have told me too that I am lucky to find a new job but really they do not know I feel. My heart and motivation's just not in it. I feel like I'm gonna be in this state for a long time....

 

ETA: You know as I am writing this just reliving the old job made me smile and happy again. It feels good thinking how I happy I was back then.

Edited September 26, 2010 by Hersheys

[lilbunny]

I really struggled when I first started in the job I am in now. That was over 3 years ago and I am very happy and content now. It was a big change from the job I had before and a bit of a culture shock. Adjusting took time.

 

I know you have taken a step down and it isn't much consolation when the 'lucky to have a job at all' line gets trotted out. A positive way to look at it could be that you should be able to shine in the post you are in because you have been more senior in the past and set yourself goals for promotion. In the meantime you could also make the most of less responsibility and pressure.

[Hersheys]

Sounds like you are feeling depressed, still grieving over your old job. It's not surprising if you had no choice about leaving it and no choice about taking the new one. It's enough to make anyone feel depressed and powerless. Perhaps you need to cry more, at home maybe when you are in private, to help get this out of your system. Seeing a counsellor might help too, if it's possible. I don't think you've mentally made the transition from one job to the other yet so you aren't open to the good things that might come from it - new colleagues, new friends, new opportunities in the future. I'm sure that will come but it may take a little time.

 

I do think it's a good thing to make a life for yourself outside work, to do other things and build a network of friends and contacts. Work doesn't always give positive feedback and the warmth you would get from friends is often lacking. A network outside work is really important for supporting you and giving you a space where you don't have to meet anyone's expectations unless you choose too.

 

Finally, if you don't feel better soon, you could see a doctor and consider therapy or anti-depressants to help you over this time. They can make a difference.

 

P.S. I note what another poster said about everyone saying you are lucky to have a job these days. This is true, but as someone who remembers the previous serious recession (or should we call it depression?), it always seems that when a Tory government is in power in the UK then unemployment rises dramatically and we are suddenly told to be glad we've got a job. It becomes a mantra and we workers have to knuckle down, work for low pay and not complain. It becomes an employer's market then. Accidental? I doubt it.

 

I have been thinking about reaching out to my old bosses and asking them if they could give me another chance at the job but that would seem pathetic. I have seriously considered begging for my old job back but I heard from a former co-worker that most of the old bosses have moved on to form a new and stronger one. The company I was in had to close down for a while but a couple of months ago I learned that some of the old higher ups have formed a new one that is similar to the one that had to close down. It's really complicated but the bottomline is they want none of the old faces and want new blood so my chances are nil.

 

I really thought that soon as I get a new job I'd be somehow fine and that I'd be on my way to recovery but it seems that my thought process have become increasingly painful and depressing for me.

[Hersheys]

I really struggled when I first started in the job I am in now. That was over 3 years ago and I am very happy and content now. It was a big change from the job I had before and a bit of a culture shock. Adjusting took time.

 

I know you have taken a step down and it isn't much consolation when the 'lucky to have a job at all' line gets trotted out. A positive way to look at it could be that you should be able to shine in the post you are in because you have been more senior in the past and set yourself goals for promotion. In the meantime you could also make the most of less responsibility and pressure.

 

I think one of the problems lie in that I look at the new job only as something temporary for me which I know is not the right mindset to have because my resume is not amazing at all.

 

The job I am in now is so routinary. The other day I tried to stretch the time I spent cutting paper into an hour.

 

Sorry if I have been complaining about the new job too much. I really hope weeks from now I'd be in a better, more hopeful mood.

[lilbunny]

I think one of the problems lie in that I look at the new job only as something temporary for me which I know is not the right mindset to have because my resume is not amazing at all.

 

The job I am in now is so routinary. The other day I tried to stretch the time I spent cutting paper into an hour.

 

Sorry if I have been complaining about the new job too much. I really hope weeks from now I'd be in a better, more hopeful mood.

 

Hey we all need to vent sometimes, I'm just trying to think of ways to find the positives. I hope you do feel better soon and remember we work to live not live to work, so if it is paying the bills for now it is doing what it needs to.

[Hersheys]

Hey we all need to vent sometimes, I'm just trying to think of ways to find the positives. I hope you do feel better soon and remember we work to live not live to work, so if it is paying the bills for now it is doing what it needs to.

 

Thanks lilbunny

 

It helps to know that there are people who went through what I am going through now and it gives me hope that there are better days ahead if I just try to make the most of what I have right now and put some effort into improving my situation.

[Zapbasket]

I relate so much to the things said on this thread.

 

Mental health IS so much more important than any job. The catch is, of course, that being unemployed also whittles away one's mental health. So is it better to risk being unemployed for a long time in hopes of finding a more enjoyable work situation, or to stay with what you have in hopes of keeping that steady paycheck?

 

I notice that in my job, I feel depressed a lot and I wake up in the mornings dragging my heels, not looking forward to the day. I also feel depressed that in an organization so necessary to the community where I live, and so promising in many ways, there doesn't seem to be any way I can use the skills I've worked so hard over the years to obtain. I feel like my feelings about my job are sapping my energy to do other things.

 

So, Hershey, I think maybe it's important to pay attention to those feelings and assess whether it's worth the risk of being unemployed for a while to alleviate the depression you're feeling.

[Hersheys]

I relate so much to the things said on this thread.

 

Mental health IS so much more important than any job. The catch is, of course, that being unemployed also whittles away one's mental health. So is it better to risk being unemployed for a long time in hopes of finding a more enjoyable work situation, or to stay with what you have in hopes of keeping that steady paycheck?

 

I notice that in my job, I feel depressed a lot and I wake up in the mornings dragging my heels, not looking forward to the day. I also feel depressed that in an organization so necessary to the community where I live, and so promising in many ways, there doesn't seem to be any way I can use the skills I've worked so hard over the years to obtain. I feel like my feelings about my job are sapping my energy to do other things.

 

So, Hershey, I think maybe it's important to pay attention to those feelings and assess whether it's worth the risk of being unemployed for a while to alleviate the depression you're feeling.

 

During the months when I was looking for a job, I thought that finding one would soon lift me out of the difficulties I was going through. I was wrong. I dread mornings and waking up at the thought of another day at work. The drive to work for me is the toughest. I have cried many times. This week, I completely lost it at the office and quickly ran to the ladies room and cried there for minutes!

 

I just find it so hard to get the motivation to even try. I think I'm not even trying anymore. I just do what I'm told and sometimes I don't do some of the tasks at all. I haven't made friends at the office. I just don't have the energy and the heart to go out of my way to reach out to my work mates. I often find myself thinking of ways to go back to my old job. Like a lunatic, I have been wishing and praying for the moment that my phone would ring and it's my boss from my old job giving me good news.

 

I never yearned like this for weekends until this new job!

[Zapbasket]

During the months when I was looking for a job, I thought that finding one would soon lift me out of the difficulties I was going through. I was wrong. I dread mornings and waking up at the thought of another day at work. The drive to work for me is the toughest. I have cried many times. This week, I completely lost it at the office and quickly ran to the ladies room and cried there for minutes!

 

I just find it so hard to get the motivation to even try. I think I'm not even trying anymore. I just do what I'm told and sometimes I don't do some of the tasks at all. I haven't made friends at the office. I just don't have the energy and the heart to go out of my way to reach out to my work mates. I often find myself thinking of ways to go back to my old job. Like a lunatic, I have been wishing and praying for the moment that my phone would ring and it's my boss from my old job giving me good news.

 

I never yearned like this for weekends until this new job!

 

 

Oh man, such a nice thing to get to commiserate with someone while at work! It was such an uplift to turn on my laptop in the office this morning and see your two posts. I HEAR YOU, SISTER. Every morning I have to fight with myself to get out of bed. And then at work, I feel like I can't wait until the day ends. And then I get home, and feel so run down.... Last night I fell asleep at 9:15.

 

This behavior is so unlike me.

 

I'm learning something very important through this experience, along the lines of what I said earlier in your thread: An unhealthy work environment is just not worth it. If you know you are an optimistic person who uses creative problem-solving to make tough situations more palatable, and STILL you dread going into work and feel it's crushing your joy, it's time to start getting proactive about making a change.

 

So many people stay in miserable jobs, telling themselves that this is the best they can hope for and that it's too risky to leave. Imagine what the world would look like if more people had the courage to stick up for themselves at work and bail when their efforts to negotiate better conditions are met with apathy, ridicule, or disregard. Employers literally would be FORCED to maintain collegial, fair, and opportunistic work environments for their employees.

 

I just turned 34 a couple of weeks ago. One of the privileges of being an old lady

[Zapbasket]

I pressed "send" without finishing my post. One of the privileges, I was going to say, of getting older is that I can now safely say I have been around the block enough times to know when something is fixable and when it isn't. There is no need to drag on in something that makes you miserable. Change SOMETHING, even if it's something small, or internal, like your attitude. For instance, in a few minutes for my lunch break I'm going on a run by the river along a beautiful trail flanking a mountain. If I feel more positive in general, then I can also feel more solid and positive about my decision to leave this job if that's indeed what I decide. I'll know I made the choice with a clear head. THAT, and in my situation, perhaps only that, is one thing I can control.

[Hersheys]

Hi GreenCove!

 

It's so true that work is supposed to make you feel some sense of balance and give you even just a tiny bit of joy. This job I'm in has given me low point after low point. I feel guilty that I'm complaining about it a lot but it's true what they say - if you're not happy, you're not happy. I try to find solace in the fact that at least I managed to get a job but even that doesn't help.

 

I'm just waiting for my supervisor to reprimand me or ask me wth is wrong with me. I do some of my tasks but not all. Some tasks are just plain insulting to me. The thought of being told to do such trivial tasks makes me more miserable. It doesn't help either that I do not have the slightest interest and motivation to please my supervisor. Yesterday morning I arrived early and she's already in her work room in her usual panicky, over the top state. I ignored her and went downstairs instead to get breakfast.

 

It's sad and frustrating really because I'm not like this. I'm usually an eager and gleeful new employee. I used to love impressing my bosses in my previous jobs. This time I just feel indifferent and oftentimes embarrassed at myself to have gotten to this point.

 

It helps to do positive things for yourself outside of work that uplift you. Our jobs may not be that good but at least there are other areas in our life that give us joy. We may not be having the grandest time in our job right now BUT I try to find comfort at the thought that maybe we have to go through this tough time to pave the way for something better for us that will come along not long from now.

[desertIslandCactus]

During the months when I was looking for a job, I thought that finding one would soon lift me out of the difficulties I was going through. I was wrong. I dread mornings and waking up at the thought of another day at work. The drive to work for me is the toughest. I have cried many times. This week, I completely lost it at the office and quickly ran to the ladies room and cried there for minutes!

 

I just find it so hard to get the motivation to even try. I think I'm not even trying anymore. I just do what I'm told and sometimes I don't do some of the tasks at all. I haven't made friends at the office. I just don't have the energy and the heart to go out of my way to reach out to my work mates. I often find myself thinking of ways to go back to my old job. Like a lunatic, I have been wishing and praying for the moment that my phone would ring and it's my boss from my old job giving me good news.

 

I never yearned like this for weekends until this new job!

 

 

Because of the surrounding elements, I went through a few jobs with the anxiety you are describing - after my D.

 

I ran out of those jobs screaming .. The employment agencies involved, dissowned me ..

 

If there are no replacement jobs out there, have you thought of trying to use this job for further training .. Volunteer to learn new computer programs, etc.. So when if you do make a break for it, you will be further ahead ..

 

Stay on-line and email (and physically distribute) your resumes.

 

I don't think there's anything wrong with staying in contact with your old bosses and trying once again to get your foot in the door. But then again, after going through this - God just may have something better for you ..