kell Posted July 28, 2000 Share Posted July 28, 2000 I've just gotten out of 2 bad relationships recently. I've finally started dating someone else seriously. I've told him about my trust issues and stuff. We've been dating for almost 6 months and I feel like he is turning into a jerk like the others. I just went on a week trip and when I got home he wasn't around. I would have thought he would have wanted to see me after not seeing me for a week but he never returned my call. I'm feeling really low but I can't tell if it's something I'm doing wrong or not. Link to post Share on other sites
Elmer Posted July 28, 2000 Share Posted July 28, 2000 Hi Kell, I'm no counsellor but got the impression that you're probably beating yourself up for no reason. I would have thought he would have wanted to see me after not seeing me for a week but he never returned my call. Did you tell him you were going, who with, where and why? Did you phone/contact each other while you were away? If the first is true, he has no real reason to distrust you, so count that out. If the second is false, there are probably problems with the relationship and it doesn't really matter who did what to get it to that point. It's kind of a fact of life that you miss someone you love and even a day apart can seem like forever. I'm feeling really low but I can't tell if it's something I'm doing wrong or not. All anyone can ask from the other is that they're completely straight with them. That implies you get pretty honest with your own feelings as well, and if there's something you've been purposely holding back from him maybe you are partly to 'blame'. But I must say it sounds more like him holding back and not being straight with you, of course only you two could answer that. What I can say for sure is that non-jerk boyfriends who love you will be most eager to see you after a whole week away. Link to post Share on other sites
Kelli Posted July 28, 2000 Share Posted July 28, 2000 Let me tell you sweetie, I know how you feel, and I'm sure it's not you! I know it's very hard to deal with a string of jerks and bad relationships and even harder to believe that it won't last forever, because I've felt that way myself. I've had more than my fair share of confusion and heartbreak and I was very recently in a situation similar to yours. I began dating a guy I'd known for years but had never really been close to. At first it was nice. He seemed different and we really started to talk and get more involved over the course of a few months. Then, as soon as I began to reciprocate his feelings, he backed off completly. He stopped really talking to me, stopped calling, stopped wanting to see me, started spreading stories about me, and standing me up. Well, I decided to give him one last chance. We were supposed to go out with a group of his friends and I promised myself that the first chance I had to get him alone we were gonna have the "shape up or hit the road" talk. When I got to his house I realized he'd gone and ditched me once again! So I went out with a few of my friends just to forget about it and have some fun, and lo and behold, I met the man of my dreams! It WILL happen for you. The biggest and best piece of advice I can give you is this... Stop trying to figure out what you're doing wrong or what you can do to make other people happy. Take some time off and get to know yourself. The biggest favor you can do yourself is to figure out what it is YOU want. Until then, you'll keep ending up with people who turn out to be a**h***s. Sorry this is so verbose... Good luck! I swear it WILL work out eventually! As soon as you're not expecting it, it'll fall right in your lap! Kelli I've just gotten out of 2 bad relationships recently. I've finally started dating someone else seriously. I've told him about my trust issues and stuff. We've been dating for almost 6 months and I feel like he is turning into a jerk like the others. I just went on a week trip and when I got home he wasn't around. I would have thought he would have wanted to see me after not seeing me for a week but he never returned my call. I'm feeling really low but I can't tell if it's something I'm doing wrong or not. Link to post Share on other sites
Taressa Posted July 28, 2000 Share Posted July 28, 2000 Not welcome advice, I'm sure, but maybe you do need to take a look at your history... is there a certain type of man you're drawn to that just doesn't work for you?... is there a common characteristic you see in the failed relationships? Take a look at the relationships and see if there is something in common in the problems you've had. It could be that you unfortunately chose 3 jerks in a row or it could be you are seeking to fill needs that a man just can't meet. A hard, honest look will determine which it is. Link to post Share on other sites
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