2 year anniversay!

[pollyanna22]

Today marks 2 years since d day...My husband has no idea...wow I will never forget! but I have a nice bottle of wine and my best friend! what more could a girl ask for.....

[painfullyobvious]

Are you still together?

[pollyanna22]

today we are, one day at a time though...

[Stung]

Well I can't say happy anniversary, but I hope you do manage to blow off some steam and have a good time with your friend.

 

In my personal opinion, if you are marking the anniversaries and having a hard time with it, you might want to share that with your husband, rather than internalizing the hard feelings and shutting him out. Keep communication open, if you are trying to rebuild a healthy marriage.

[pollyanna22]

Not sure why telling him would help..who knows maybe he does know..I really don't feel the need to guilt him some more, or make him think about "her"...or all of them I should say...as for me that day will stick in my head as much as the birth of my first child, or our anniversary ect. Even if we don't make it, that date will always be there, it was the day life as I knew it changed forever..sounds dramatic, and I'm thankful for the good things in my life and realize things could be worse, but can't help it..tx.

[Owl]

Believe it or not, these "anniversaries" become less and less memorable as time (and reconciliation in my case) goes on.

 

First and second year d-day 'anniversaries' were still pretty memorable. After that...I completely lost track of the days. I mean, I know the dates...but they just didn't come to mind even ON those dates.

 

The pain fades, and the need to 'remember' becomes less and less over time and with healing.

 

Hope your next year is far less memorable!

[Snowflower]

Not sure why telling him would help..who knows maybe he does know..I really don't feel the need to guilt him some more, or make him think about "her"...or all of them I should say...as for me that day will stick in my head as much as the birth of my first child, or our anniversary ect. Even if we don't make it, that date will always be there, it was the day life as I knew it changed forever..sounds dramatic, and I'm thankful for the good things in my life and realize things could be worse, but can't help it..tx.

 

Why shouldn't he know? I mean, tell him you're feeling and sad and why. This is part of the reconciliation process!

 

Besides, I don't understand why you feel you should have to bear this burden alone.

 

The BS (if they choose to stay in the relationship) has to bear a lot as it is. Why should you have to bear this alone? I say, tell him.

 

Believe it or not, these "anniversaries" become less and less memorable as time (and reconciliation in my case) goes on.

 

First and second year d-day 'anniversaries' were still pretty memorable. After that...I completely lost track of the days. I mean, I know the dates...but they just didn't come to mind even ON those dates.

 

The pain fades, and the need to 'remember' becomes less and less over time and with healing.

 

Hope your next year is far less memorable!

 

Thanks for the words of encouragement, Owl. My two-year will be coming up in just a couple of months. The first one was rough but even now, I don't exactly remember how I felt or what I did that day at the one year mark. I think that is a good thing.

 

I used to count the month anniversaries but lost track when that day comes around over the past six months or so. I'd have to really force myself to think about it--put it on the calendar or something and I obviously don't want to do that.

 

I think it was what bugged me about one of the other infidelity sites/forums...the BS would list their d-day date next to their member names. Like it was some type of badge of honor or constant reminder. Total turn-off for me.

 

It's good to know that it gets easier and Polly, I think it will get easier for you too. It's not a happy reminder of something good like your children's birth dates. I also think the mind slowly tends to forget the painful things over time as a form of healing.

 

Take care.

[pollyanna22]

thank you so much, I'm so glad it gets easier, this year was just as clear as last year,I kept saying at this time 2 years ago..this, and 2 years ago at this time that! it's rediculous! I even remember what I was wearing! but maybe next year will be better..it has to lol! THe good news is I'm much stronger than I was, I was looking at my journal from 2 years ago and it was pretty pathetic how I pined after him..now it's the other way around!