Help! Live with him or wait until we get married.

[lilmjshorty]

Okay i have some stuff i need some people's opinions on. I've been with my boyfriend for around 3 years, we've had ups and we've definitly had downs in the relationship but we've gotten through them like mature adults (most of the time ). I got a "promise ring" for christmas from him. We had been talking about marriage for a while before that. I know I love him more than anything or anyone else, if anything ever happened i could never love another guy. It sounds all peaches and cream up to this point but here's the problem: we're only 18. Some may say that is way too young but we have both been through a lot of **** in our lives (parents with drug/alcohol problems) and we help each other through it. We did break up for a few months because he didn't want me to have to deal with him because of his family problems. But things happened during that time, i dated another guy and found out what love is not, which made me realize how much i love the guy i'm with now. Now he knows i want to be there for him during the times he's having problems just as much as i do when he's not. My grandparents like him, my grandfather (who raised me and is my father figure) is just trying to protect me and wants me to get my education. (I graduate high school this spring) My grandmother loves him and so does my great-grandma and my mother. I love his family and he loves mine. His mom is giving him a necklace that has been passed down in the family so he can give it to ME. He gets along with my brothers and cousins and friends and that is important to me because my family and friends are important to me. We both want to have kids and be good parents because we both know how it feels to be raised with parents that have problems and we were both abandoned by our biological fathers before we were born (kind of ironic) and we still don't know them. Well back to the problem, we aren't sure if we should wait to get married or move in together. He is living with a friend and friend's parents right now and is supporting himself and i live with my grandparents but we both plan to move out this summer and we both are gonna need help financially and i'm thinking it would be easier to live together. But he wants my (grand)parents blessing so we're thinking we should wait. What should we do? I know i'd talk to them before i just moved out but i know they're gonna be old fashioned about it. I just want a way to convince them that it'll all be ok. I'm still gonna go to college this fall and so is he and i know we can't do it alone, its too hard to live by yourself these days with rent and everything else under the sun you have to pay for, one income just will not work especially when you don't have any help and you're young. (Oh and if means anything-respect wise-we are both still virgins after 3 years of being together-hard to believe huh?)

[carla]

It sounds as though you have something very special. I think you should live together b4 getting married. Living with someone becomes a totally different relationship then dating. It's very considerate that he wants your grandparents blessing. If they are old fashioned about this subject explain to them that with the divorce rate these days that you want make sure that it will be the right decision when you get married. If you feel comfortable enough to tell them that you are a virgin and plan on remaining that way it may help. (Congratulations by the way) If you are planning on staying a virgin maybe separate rooms may make things easier and give your grandparents a little peace of mind. Once you get a place show them, it will make them feel better. If you are planning to live together while going to college see about getting into a co-op (mixed housing). Good Luck