Squirtle101 Posted September 27, 2010 Share Posted September 27, 2010 So I've been with this girl for 2 months now in a LDR, she lives in Canada and i Live in the USA, so theres some distance. Age wise im 21, shes 18. Anyways, like all relationships i suppose its always good at the start, talk every night and all day, phone texts, late night chats..etc Now that we've been together for a bit, i can see that things are changing. Ive tried talking to her about it, and then she answers with "Why do you always ask me questions" Some things that bother me are that, i've done a lot for her considering i havent met her, we both play video games so i decided for her birthday i would buy her 2 games she's been wanting and that we could both play together, we've played them about 3 times together, in 2 months, basically $80 out the window. Not saying shes ungrateful but its not like im rich. I also do special things for her that don't require money, like once i mailed her a love letter expressing all my feelings for her, and an E-card once on our 2 month mark to show her that i care about her. It would be nice if she did something like that for me, but she never has... Another thing is, she doesn't want her family to know she's with me, her brother especially. she always says not to talk to her brother, sometimes im tempted to just to see what might happen. I mean i talk to my brother about relationship issues to get his point of view and see what he thinks, im not embarrassed that i love a girl who's a million miles away, but i can't tell if she is. She says her friends know about me but, ive never talked to any of them so i dont know if thats true. Another thing that has been bothering me to absolutely no end, is that she won't let me call her, granted she lives at home, parents dont want a huge phone bill, and there probably not huge fans of their daughter being with someone who lives halfway across the country, but still...I've suggested that maybe she get a microphone headset for the computer, and we could talk on there, she plays Xbox and again suggested a headset for that, both with the response that she doesnt have the money to buy those things and that her parents won't buy them for her. She's sent me different pics over the 2 months, but it feels like im falling in love with a chat box, and not a person. I don't think its asking to much to talk to my girlfriend on the phone. She said shes supposed to be getting a cell phone soon, but said she'd only be able to text me on it, again we're still back to square one. This is starting to cause trust issues for me, cause I can't talk to her or hear her....not sure what to do, any advice or comments would be greatly appreciated Link to post Share on other sites
aerogurl87 Posted September 27, 2010 Share Posted September 27, 2010 Ok I'm pretty much in a similar situation (I'm 20 about to be 21 and my boyfriend is 18 and lives in Canada while I'm in the US) and I see one huge red flag. She won't let you talk to her on the phone. Something is really fishy about this. Ok so she doesn't want a huge phonebill, well if you can afford to shell out about $2 a month you can get unlimited skype to landlines and cell phones throughout the US and Canada. Plus you can use it with a regular phone by getting a skype to go number where you can call her and it'll be like her getting a regular phone call from someone local. It's what my boyfriend and I use which solved the whole $700 phone bill issue we had our first month together. Secondly I can somewhat understand her being leery of talking about you to her family. Before my boyfriend and I met we basically left our family out of the loop on our relationship status because we weren't sure if or when we'd meet. Then when we figured out we were going to meet we weren't sure if the chemistry would be there in person, so we didn't really discuss our relationship with anyone except really close friends. After our visit though it was disclosed to everyone that we were officially a couple. So that makes sense to me. But I still think the barely any pictures and refusing to talk on the phone are red flags. My only advice is go for the skype to go thing and if she doesn't want to talk still then, ask what's up because then that would definitely be cause for alarm as she could be someone different from whom she says she is. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Squirtle101 Posted September 27, 2010 Author Share Posted September 27, 2010 Like when we talk online, i use my headset so she can hear my voice but just feels like im talking to a chat box and not a person...i'll talk to her about skype tomorrow after work ty for that suggestion Aero Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted September 27, 2010 Share Posted September 27, 2010 Like when we talk online, i use my headset so she can hear my voice but just feels like im talking to a chat box and not a person...i'll talk to her about skype tomorrow after work ty for that suggestion Aero And she doesn't talk to you via the headset...? I'm sorry to say, but this doesn't sound like much of a real relationship... I have to ask...what is keeping you attached to this girl...? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Squirtle101 Posted September 27, 2010 Author Share Posted September 27, 2010 she doesnt have a headset Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted September 27, 2010 Share Posted September 27, 2010 she doesnt have a headset You didn't answer my question. And if she's 18, she can probably get a headset somehow...that's a hell of a lame excuse... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Squirtle101 Posted September 27, 2010 Author Share Posted September 27, 2010 ya im sorta getting sick of excuses with her =/ she doesnt have a job but is going to school Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted September 27, 2010 Share Posted September 27, 2010 ya im sorta getting sick of excuses with her =/ she doesnt have a job but is going to school The bolded statement above combined with the fact that you can't answer why you're attached to her means that you should just let her go and find yourself a real relationship. LAUNCH. Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted September 27, 2010 Share Posted September 27, 2010 ya im sorta getting sick of excuses with her =/ she doesnt have a job but is going to schoolp The bolded statement above combined with the fact that you can't answer why you're attached to her means that you should just let her go and find yourself a real relationship. LAUNCH. Liftoff, we have liftoff! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Squirtle101 Posted September 27, 2010 Author Share Posted September 27, 2010 we talked a ton during summer, and it felt like i always had her attention and she couldnt wait for me to come home from work...just dont know anymore...sometimes i ask for little things and its a huge inconvience for her to take 2 minutes to do something nice for me, maybe it is time to end it Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted September 27, 2010 Share Posted September 27, 2010 we talked a ton during summer, and it felt like i always had her attention and she couldnt wait for me to come home from work...just dont know anymore... This is all you are to her...someone to give her attention...and that's ALL you're going to be to her given her very shady behavior...unless you're ok being just someone to shower her with attention and get nothing in return... sometimes i ask for little things and its a huge inconvience for her to take 2 minutes to do something nice for me, maybe it is time to end it She's 18...sometimes they just don't understand it... Link to post Share on other sites
Murat Posted September 27, 2010 Share Posted September 27, 2010 OP, I'm not sure if I missed something in one of your posts.... But from what I've gathered, you've never actually heard this girl's voice, seen a tangible photograph, her handwriting, or seen her over webcam or anything? The disconnect she's creating between you and her real life sounds a little fishy to me. Don't take this the wrong way or anything, but how are you so sure that you're even talking to a girl? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Squirtle101 Posted September 27, 2010 Author Share Posted September 27, 2010 So far ive gotten 6 different pictures of her doing various things, at school, in her room etc..but believe me when i say that thought has crossed my mind plenty of times Link to post Share on other sites
Murat Posted September 27, 2010 Share Posted September 27, 2010 These can just be pictures stolen off of myspace or someone's facebook account. Be very, very careful. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted September 27, 2010 Share Posted September 27, 2010 This seems like a very puzzling situation. You shipped her a video game and a card before.. but you never thought of shipping a headset? If money is such a hugeeeeeeeeee issue for her, and 'she' has nothing to hide, I am sure she will be delighted to be able to use a headset to Skype you with if you ship one to her, free of charge. Something tells me she won't be, though. Listen, I've been that girl ingame before. I was 17, parents were helluva strict, computer was in the living room, I got a measly 4 bucks a day for allowance, etc. There were always boys pestering me for voice chat, webcam, etc, to 'prove' that I was female, but I couldn't be bothered about them - why did I need to prove anything to them? However, when a guy I was interested in started giving hints that he felt the same way, and asked to speak on voice chat, I sneaked out and bought the cheapest microphone I could lay my hands on - the quality was pretty bad, but still. It took a week of waiting for my parents to get out of the house for a significant amount of time, but I finally managed it and we spoke. Later, I saved up enough money to buy the cheapest webcam available, and so did he. I did all that because I understood that nobody with an ounce of sense lets himself get into a relationship with someone without even confirming that person's gender and identity first!! Link to post Share on other sites
BellaBellaBella Posted September 27, 2010 Share Posted September 27, 2010 I'm sorry but the cynic in me says maybe she is her brother. I don't think your talking to a girl. If you were, a short one minute call from a friend wouldn't be a big deal. Link to post Share on other sites
aerogurl87 Posted September 27, 2010 Share Posted September 27, 2010 This seems like a very puzzling situation. You shipped her a video game and a card before.. but you never thought of shipping a headset? If money is such a hugeeeeeeeeee issue for her, and 'she' has nothing to hide, I am sure she will be delighted to be able to use a headset to Skype you with if you ship one to her, free of charge. Something tells me she won't be, though. Listen, I've been that girl ingame before. I was 17, parents were helluva strict, computer was in the living room, I got a measly 4 bucks a day for allowance, etc. There were always boys pestering me for voice chat, webcam, etc, to 'prove' that I was female, but I couldn't be bothered about them - why did I need to prove anything to them? However, when a guy I was interested in started giving hints that he felt the same way, and asked to speak on voice chat, I sneaked out and bought the cheapest microphone I could lay my hands on - the quality was pretty bad, but still. It took a week of waiting for my parents to get out of the house for a significant amount of time, but I finally managed it and we spoke. Later, I saved up enough money to buy the cheapest webcam available, and so did he. I did all that because I understood that nobody with an ounce of sense lets himself get into a relationship with someone without even confirming that person's gender and identity first!! Lol, Elsywth makes a good point. By the way if she has a laptop you can get a pretty good mic on overstock.com for about 4 bucks. I bought it when my internal mic went out on me. This girl (if it's even a girl) just sounds really fishy to me. If she really liked you she would've found someway to speak to you by now after 2 months and sending her $80 worth of video games. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Squirtle101 Posted September 27, 2010 Author Share Posted September 27, 2010 Well we're gonna talk tonight for sure, because I can't take it anymore....I've been awake since 3am losing my mind over this Link to post Share on other sites
lizzibeth Posted September 27, 2010 Share Posted September 27, 2010 maybe I'm even more cynical that the rest but she's either her brother or she's involved with someone and calling them her 'brother'. How would you have an opportunity to talk to her brother if no headset exists? This is fishy fishy fishy fishy. Link to post Share on other sites
aerogurl87 Posted September 27, 2010 Share Posted September 27, 2010 Good luck squirtle. Like I said if she goes iffy about the whole skype deal then yeah she's definitely not who she says she is or is involved with someone else for sure. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Squirtle101 Posted September 27, 2010 Author Share Posted September 27, 2010 ty for the support everyone Link to post Share on other sites
LisaLee Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 (edited) she doesnt have a headset Why the heck not? She has an XBox, right? They come with headsets. My Spidey senses are tingling... Edited September 28, 2010 by LisaLee Link to post Share on other sites
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