Here to tell all!!

[greengoddess]

You really are a pompous ass who is just on here to insult people. Are you enjoying dragging out the reason people are posting on a support board as insults? You are the one trying to make yourself superior and bringing up their unfortunate situations and insulting them for it as if they or their opinion do not matter because they have done x.y.z.

 

Have you worked your way through all the other boards with all your different user names that you are now here? You are arguing to hear yourself talk and belittle people with your little research of their past posts. You are a very sad little man.

[amerikajin]

I disagree with you, both, Kajin and 2sure, I think it's not about compartmentizing, it's about emotional maturity and intellectual freedom. Any young adult or teen can do the same thing, almost at will. I could f**K one girl, drop her off, and be at another's in about an hour, and profess undying love to both, then go to my Grandma's and eat Sunday dinner, and be thought a moral, upright boy. As a person matures, you come to the point where ONS and casual sex loses your interest (other than the act, itself) and you begin, if you are wise, to want more. I can remember the first girl I ever screwed, and the first woman I ever made love to, there is simply no comparison. That there are supposedly mature people, who still view sex as a casual activity, or as a buyable commodity, just shows how mentallyy backward and emotionally immature society is, in general. The idea that sex becomes one of the "things to do, today", is , to me, appalling. 1) get breakfast 2) feed the cat 3)do laundry 4) f**K 5) go to work..... this concept is disgusting and frightening. Are we so regimented, so compartmentized, so dehumanized, that this is acceptible? I have read that people who have mastered yoga can orgasm without touching (although I love to touch). The idea that someday my GF and I can be so emotionally, spiritually and sexually in tune, that we can give each other orgasms without touching, has to be sexual Nirvana. I guess that everybody has to ask themselves is passion all about sex? If you answer yes, then you will probably never ever know true passion. OK, I'll get off my soapbox now.:D

 

The funny thing, Joe, is that I both agree and disagree with this at the same time. I don't think I could spend the rest of my life wandering from one sex partner to the next, although I would learn to accept it if I had given up hope for a long-term relationship. On that note, I suspect that this is what happens in a lot of cases: men might just decide that they're too feral to be tamed by a partner. Some people need their independence and get intimacy in small doses. Again, for you and me, it wouldn't work, but it apparently works for some. I'm not going to sit around and judge someone just because I have my own view about the ideal of intimacy.

[BB07]

You really are a pompous ass who is just on here to insult people. Are you enjoying dragging out the reason people are posting on a support board as insults? You are the one trying to make yourself superior and bringing up their unfortunate situations and insulting them for it as if they or their opinion do not matter because they have done x.y.z.

 

Have you worked your way through all the other boards with all your different user names that you are now here? You are arguing to hear yourself talk and belittle people with your little research of their past posts. You are a very sad little man.

 

GG, we might disagree on some things, but this one, you hit the nail on the had 100%.

[JustJoe]

So?

 

 

 

 

Can you try to make an actual point and then discuss whatever it might be? You're all over the place and I'm not following you.

 

You can call me all the names you want, it still doesn't change the objective fact that lots of men go to prostitutes, there's a reason for it, and the OP has told us what her clients frequently give as the reason for going to a prostitute. What does that have to do with me? I simply accept what OP has said because it seems perfectly logical, I have no reason to doubt her, and it is exactly the problem that is related in many posts on LS by sex deprived married men.

 

By the way, as far as I know, I never had an affair with a married woman--which I believe is part of your own relationship history. (Please correct me if I'm mistaken.) So please don't lecture me on what you think "respect for women" consists of, you're hardly in any position to do so. Unlike you, I have enough "respect for women" not to have affairs with married women, or if I ever did do that, not to delude myself into thinking I was doing anything other than what OP's clients are doing with her, except paying a lot less money for the privilege. If you did have an affair with a married woman, you're certainly no better than OP's johns from a moral or ethical perspective, and in all probability a lot worse than most of them.

 

 

 

 

LOL now you're bragging about what a "cocksman" you are? Drat that's pretty insecure. Why do you think this particular conversation has anything to do with your personal sex life?

 

 

 

 

 

Dude, I've been in a monogamous relationship for 20 years.

 

LOL I know greengoddess has no sense of humor but did you actually also really believe I make women get down on their knees and blow me if I buy them a dinner date?

 

I don't take seriously YOUR claim that you get "three or four guys' share" of sex (whatever that means), c'mon, are you serious?

Dude, you really are a sad case, aren't you. Go ahead and get your bile out. I don't mind.

[JustJoe]

The funny thing, Joe, is that I both agree and disagree with this at the same time. I don't think I could spend the rest of my life wandering from one sex partner to the next, although I would learn to accept it if I had given up hope for a long-term relationship. On that note, I suspect that this is what happens in a lot of cases: men might just decide that they're too feral to be tamed by a partner. Some people need their independence and get intimacy in small doses. Again, for you and me, it wouldn't work, but it apparently works for some. I'm not going to sit around and judge someone just because I have my own view about the ideal of intimacy.

I understand your point of view, and respect it, Kajin. I feel that I"ve expressed my idea of what is and what is not true passion and intimacy, and particularly the dehumanizing aspects of, sex for money, and society's urge to regiment and regulate emotion. That's the most important part.:D

[JustJoe]

It is not likely to ever happen and it will be hard for me if it does. I will explain as best I can why I did it and that it is not OK. They will be assured that I will never condone such behavior but I was only trying to support them. I can at least truthfully tell them it was never a situation where I cheated on anyone because they were there at night, they know I am alone and don't date. I guess if I suspect it is possible to come out I will talk to them first. Not really a likely problem that I will ever face though.

Spillin, you are almost certainly wrong about this. Eventually, they WILL find out, no matter how hard you try to hide it and lie about it. Unless your boys are idiots, which I doubt, considering their mothers intelligence, they will put two and two together and come up with an uncomfortable four. If I were you I would get out as soon as possible, old hookers are truly sad. I think you have it in you to change and forego the greed, I hope you do.

[NayWinter]

You really are a pompous ass who is just on here to insult people. Are you enjoying dragging out the reason people are posting on a support board as insults? You are the one trying to make yourself superior and bringing up their unfortunate situations and insulting them for it as if they or their opinion do not matter because they have done x.y.z.

 

Have you worked your way through all the other boards with all your different user names that you are now here? You are arguing to hear yourself talk and belittle people with your little research of their past posts. You are a very sad little man.

 

Why, yes he has done this very same thing in other peoples threads. You couldn't be more right about this one!!!

[JustJoe]

Why do you think its so likely to come out? There are others girls that used work in the same agency as myself and have now been retired for ranging from 5-10 yrs. The older cases I never met but I have met plenty of the ones that retired during my years and not one single one has been caught by anyone. Some have chose to tell their SO but thats all. My kids don't doubt me because they have gone with me to my cover job and to keep it as believable as possible I do work at it on occasion. Anyone can call me there and actually get sent to my vm ext at that office. Why are you so certain I will get caught when I know many like me with normal lives that don't?

And I am planning to get out soon. My plan is firmly no more then 3yrs. Hopefully before then. I hope it will only be 1yr.

There is nobody, who knows you better than your kids. They already probably are aware of something fishy, unless they are under the age of 10, but as they grow older they will get bits and pieces of info, and after puberty will start to put the info together, then they will start to ask very uncomfortable questions. My mom had an affair when we kids were in HS and JHS. We began to notice her actions and emotions and different ways she behaved, and times she was gone, etc. until we had pieced enough together to realize the truth. My Mom thought like you, that she had covered her tracks well, but kids are smarter and more intuitive than you think. We knew about her affair, before my Dad did. There is an old saying, "the truth will out", you better believe it, or you will be faced with a lifetime of lies to explain. Never believe that nobody knows, because they do, and never believe that nobody will tell, because they will. Murphy's Law. Edited September 30, 2010 by JustJoe

[JustJoe]

Pod, read my full post, and you'll find that is exactly what I'm saying.

[JustJoe]

Don't feel lonesome.

[Alma Mobley]

Hi Spillingitall--

 

I hope you continue to post more about the insight you have into why men choose to cheat or go to professionals. I find it really fascinating and would like to know more. Thanks for all the info!

 

On a sidenote: People, please stop posting to Pickles. This is what he does -- he attacks and insults posters (usually he likes to focus on one poster and pick her apart with loonng posts) in all his various incarnations. He doesn't seem to like or respect women in particular, but he loves getting a rise out of people. This is the kind of stuff that gets threads closed, so let's stay on topic!

[greengoddess]

spillinitall the man who is paying 40,000. for your schooling, does he expect you to be available when he needs you? Do you have to drop everything and attend to him? Is he married? If he is, do you fear his wife will divorce him one day, get a forensic accountant and discover the $40,000.00 thus exposing you?

[2sure]

I agree that sexual/ intimate compartmentalization is something many people are capable of until they emotionally mature....but if , for some reason you separate them long enough....I really do think that ability to distance yourself becomes so natural that one day you can find yourself having more trouble connecting than you do with creating distance.

[greengoddess]

Yes I do see MM but keep in mind as I have stated earlier, I am not ever their first escort/A. I don't try to keep them coming back if they are married and I find out. I will not tell them no but I do often try to give them advice about what is bothering them so they can "graduate" from escortdom to marital bliss.

 

I'm not buying this. I would think a maried man would be one of your favorite least scary clients and one in which financially you would want to hold onto.

[2sure]

I personally feel that many people go outside their marriage not because they are missing anything but because they simply want more or different. I also feel that others go outside their marriage not because there is anything wrong with their spouse or their marriage in general but something missing or wrong with them personally that they feel can be helped by this sort of indulgence.

 

I also feel that as far as cheating goes: I would rather a man go to a working girl for the transaction than be a predator to someone else and also rather than take on the pretending, lies, and risks that having an unpaid tryst entails.

 

On that note I also believe prostitution should be legalized, regulated, licensed by requirements, taxed, and enforced.

 

This is NO way would make me OK with my H seeing someone else behind my back...but it is not the same as an affair in my mind. Its something else.