Here to tell all!!

[greengoddess]

A "regular date" shouldn't be like "what" at all?

 

I simply said if a woman expects me to pay for her, then she should expect to provide me with sex. If she doesn't expect me to pay for her, then I will have no such expectation. If she wants to pay my way, and expects sex in return, I believe she's justified in having that expectation.

 

The only "problem" here is if a woman expects to have someone else pay her way on dates with no sexual quid pro quo. If she's not sexually attracted to her date, why is she going out with him in the first place?

 

Make sure you state your expectations upfront when you ask someone out.

[greengoddess]

I agree being honest is very important. I gave you my honest opinion and you "freaked out."

 

I think you freaked out because you know I'm right and don't want to acknowledge it.

 

 

I don't think you are right. I think you are disgusting and have a really skewed attitude about dating and women. I think you need help.

 

Again, please remember no means no.

[HappyAtLast]

 

I simply said if a woman expects me to pay for her, then she should expect to provide me with sex.

 

:laugh::laugh:

[JustJoe]

BTW, I do not and never have believed that a sex worker, Be it porn star, escort , street hooker, stripper or whatever, can , with any degree of integrity, separate their professional lives from their private ones. Spillin, you live a life of deceit and dishonesty. You have come here to LS with the stated purpose of giving other women the "heads up", about the extracurricular activities of their men. By doing this, will it make you feel better about yourself? You may end up marrying one of your "sugar daddys", but what about your soul? Have you grown so used to dishonesty, that integrity means nothing to you any more? Will you tell your kids that it is moral for them to do ANYTHING for money? I'm not a religious person, by any means, but I do believe that there are things I won't do for wealth and power. I do feel for you, I really do, when you are alone at night, with nobody there that loves you as a woman should be loved, if you have any wit at all, it must be sooooo depressing, not to have another, to give everything you have and be everything you want, not because you are being paid to, but because you want to with all of your heart and soul. I wish you well.

[greengoddess]

again you are in the wrong thread dude and you are creeping me out.

[greengoddess]

spillinitall is pickels the type of man you would turn away?

[JustJoe]

seriously though, I do believe pickles is just being bluntly honest about the inside workings of a male mind. I have had plenty clients say similar things when I ask them why they are doing this(seeing me). They have said "It's all the same. At least with you we both know what the deal is and I don't have to wonder will I get laid"

How pathetic is this?

[greengoddess]

seriously though, I do believe pickles is just being bluntly honest about the inside workings of a male mind. I have had plenty clients say similar things when I ask them why they are doing this(seeing me). They have said "It's all the same. At least with you we both know what the deal is and I don't have to wonder will I get laid"

 

I am not on any particular side Pickles

 

 

Maybe that is because of the kind of men you deal with. I do not believe that the average man thinks this way. Your average man does. He IS paying you for sex and does expect it.

I simply said if a woman expects me to pay for her, then she should expect to provide me with sex.

[greengoddess]

They may WANT sex but they certainly do not expect it just because they paid for the date. Again you disgust me and have zero respect for women.

[stillafool]

However having read most of the posts I really can't because she seems both straightforward, honest, and realistic. Granted, as a "professional" she is going to have a perspective that a lot of people don't share.

 

 

I agree with this. Spillinitall did state that she came here to educate women on how to take care of their man from an escort's perspective. Thank you Spillinitall it has been an eye opener for me.

[Spark1111]

This is exactly one of my main points here. I want to lift this myth that only sex crazed @ssholes see escorts. These are normal men. There are attractive men I see, There are well adjusted normal clientele. When you take into account low-mid and high level escorts all together and find who their clientele are you will find a bit of absolutely every type of guy.

 

I often wonder how these average, nice MM would feel in their spouse was out paying for sexual variety?

 

Or getting it for free?

 

If 30% of all women cheat, I wonder who they cheat with?

 

I wonder, do they pay for it?

[TinaniT]

. I also think if if I was in a room with soccermom's I could pick out which one she was even though she feels she presents herself so well. .

 

That is just ridiculous.

 

/another soccer mom, whose friends are also soccer moms.

[flying]

Have you read all the threads about good men in sex-starved marriages with cold wives who don't feel it is part of their marriage to have frequent and enthusiastic sex with their spouses? THAT is the kind of man who goes to a call girl--if he reaches a "breaking point" and decides he does not want a divorce, but still needs a sexual release. And if he's financially capable of affording it.

 

Ah yes, but what about the good women in sex-starved marriages? As I seem to recall, in another incarnation you assumed they must have let themselves go or were somehow otherwise responsible for turning their men off to sex with them. I wonder if women are allowed to have a "breaking point" in your worldview? Or do you believe they just prefer money to sex, so it's not a big deal if a woman doesn't get laid as long as she gets paid?

 

Care to weigh in on that? (Har har.)

Edited September 29, 2010 by flying

[greengoddess]

 

But, what you haven't explained, at all, is YOUR expectation that the woman's dating expenses should be paid for by the man.

 

and I repeat take this conversation into the thread discussing this. I never said anything on this subject and won't discuss it with you. You are a barbaric *********. Go back under your bridge.

[JustJoe]

Yes I agree it's pathetic that men have to pay a hooker for sex because whoever they might be in a relationship with is unwilling to give it to them without extracting a quid pro quo costing far more than $500/hour, whether financial or otherwise.

 

Obviously Joe no one is going to lay out $500/hour, esp. not a businessman, unless they feel they are getting their money's worth. Unless they feel what they are getting is a "good deal."

 

Maybe paying a hooker $500 for an hour of sex is a better deal than what they are (or are not) getting at home.

 

If so, why is making a rational economic decision regarding sexual matters "pathetic" in your view?

Whether or not they are "getting", anything at home, is usually a two-way street. With all due respect. You seem to feel that men have a right to be "getting", something from women, which shows , more than anything else , your true opinion of the fairer sex, and your maturity level. I "get", my share and three or four other guys share, because I treat women with respect, and my relationships with them as individual, genuine, events, NOT as business transactions. If you choose to treat love and sex as a commodity, remember the old saying, " you get what you pay for". I think you have watched too much porn. Try finding a real girl, it will work out much better for you.

[JustJoe]

again- I have NEVER worked as an escort while dating PERIOD. I couldn't do that. I have quit before and would absolutely do it again. I am fully committed when in a relationship, always.

Thanks, Spillin, for clearing that up for me. Yet, even though you can and do quit, for your relationship's sake, you still go back to the Gravy train, don't you? It's sad that you place so much value on money and so little value on love and passion. That seems to be the bottom line answer to you, doesn't it. If push comes to shove, you can always say, "but look how much money I make". I wonder if you have ever experienced any real consuming passion, ever? Edited September 29, 2010 by JustJoe

[amerikajin]

Whether or not they are "getting", anything at home, is usually a two-way street. With all due respect. You seem to feel that men have a right to be "getting", something from women, which shows , more than anything else , your true opinion of the fairer sex, and your maturity level. I "get", my share and three or four other guys share, because I treat women with respect, and my relationships with them as individual, genuine, events, NOT as business transactions. If you choose to treat love and sex as a commodity, remember the old saying, " you get what you pay for". I think you have watched too much porn. Try finding a real girl, it will work out much better for you.

 

I generally agree with the above, but some people just compartmentalize sex and see intimacy differently. I used to wag my finger at such people, but I stopped. I think that if people want to view sex as a cheap thrill and detach themselves from deeper love, that is their choice. It wouldn't be my choice, but it's not my life.

[2sure]

but some people just compartmentalize sex and see intimacy differently. I used to wag my finger at such people, but I stopped. I think that if people want to view sex as a cheap thrill and detach themselves from deeper love, that is their choice.

 

For whatever reasons good or bad that a person develops the ability to separate sex and true intimacy...the end result is that you DO separate them. It becomes a part of you, how you operate. It becomes a curse.

 

Because of my past or because of my nature..I have always been very open minded sexually and it has taken me until only recently to realize that Detached is the result. I have NO idea how to navigate a path to intimacy or if I want to.

 

I'm just saying this separation , although some think they can turn it on and off for now....they may find out differently. Intimacy is about alot more than sex and love. I guess.

[JustJoe]

"Sex goddess?" IDK about you're ability to to compartmentalize, but you have the drama part, down pat.

[JustJoe]

I disagree with you, both, Kajin and 2sure, I think it's not about compartmentizing, it's about emotional maturity and intellectual freedom. Any young adult or teen can do the same thing, almost at will. I could f**K one girl, drop her off, and be at another's in about an hour, and profess undying love to both, then go to my Grandma's and eat Sunday dinner, and be thought a moral, upright boy. As a person matures, you come to the point where ONS and casual sex loses your interest (other than the act, itself) and you begin, if you are wise, to want more. I can remember the first girl I ever screwed, and the first woman I ever made love to, there is simply no comparison. That there are supposedly mature people, who still view sex as a casual activity, or as a buyable commodity, just shows how mentallyy backward and emotionally immature society is, in general. The idea that sex becomes one of the "things to do, today", is , to me, appalling. 1) get breakfast 2) feed the cat 3)do laundry 4) f**K 5) go to work..... this concept is disgusting and frightening. Are we so regimented, so compartmentized, so dehumanized, that this is acceptible? I have read that people who have mastered yoga can orgasm without touching (although I love to touch). The idea that someday my GF and I can be so emotionally, spiritually and sexually in tune, that we can give each other orgasms without touching, has to be sexual Nirvana. I guess that everybody has to ask themselves is passion all about sex? If you answer yes, then you will probably never ever know true passion. OK, I'll get off my soapbox now.:D

Edited September 29, 2010 by JustJoe

[porter218]

I disagree with you, both, Kajin and 2sure, I think it's not about compartmentizing,

 

I think compartmentalizing has a lot to do with it

http://www.scribd.com/doc/339316/Compartmentalization-Theory I don't like what spillin does but I see how she can seperate work and home. I do it in my lfe but it sounds like an extreme version in hers.

Edited September 29, 2010 by porter218

[Spark1111]

Some of them must pay for it because there is such a thing as "gigolos." That is male prostitutes who sexually service females for a fee or payment of some kind.

 

However IMO and I don't see how anyone could disagree, it's simply generally easier for a woman who wants to, to get laid than it is for a man. The reason men have to pay for it far more often than women do is due to supply & demand.

 

Note, you seem to be injecting the ethics/morality of being a prostitute/client of a prostitute into the discussion, however, the assumption of the whole thread has to be that one accepts the existence of prostitution in society as a "fact of life," not whether or not prostitution should exist. That's really a different discussion.

 

I can agree (if you want me to) that it's unethical/immoral on the part of the john and the escort to be doing what they're doing, but that doesn't explain why the relationship exists.

 

The reason it exists is for the most part exactly what spillinitall has said, but that very simple explanation threatens too many women (and men) right to the core of their egos, so they want to deny deny deny the reality of it.

 

Prostitution exists because men are sexually-oriented and want to have sex. If the sex they are getting at home is unsatisfactory/inadequate, they will be more likely to look for it elsewhere. Paying for it as a quid pro quo to a high class professional call girl avoids the potential bunny boiler problem that is so prevalent and in fact you should be well aware of if you've read any of the OW/OM threads. It is a straight up financial transaction, fee for service. Of course since human beings are involved emotions can also get involved, somewhat. But basically the man is paying money to "get off" with as little hassle as possible.

 

What kind of "average man" goes to a call girl?

 

Have you read all the threads about good men in sex-starved marriages with cold wives who don't feel it is part of their marriage to have frequent and enthusiastic sex with their spouses? THAT is the kind of man who goes to a call girl--if he reaches a "breaking point" and decides he does not want a divorce, but still needs a sexual release. And if he's financially capable of affording it.

 

Yup. Completely ordinary men, married to completely ordinary women.

 

That's why it's the "oldest profession."

 

Oh no, no moral judgement here. Just saying, the cold, withholding sex wife at home may just be bored, as bored with him as perhaps he is with her.

 

Men can be very specific in what they like, and the order in which they like it, and it CAN grow boring for a woman. If my H liked me to talk dirty to his bug collection, well how soon before that grows oh-so-tiresome.

 

Just trying to loosen up the stereotypes a bit.

 

What is good for the goose, is now becoming more popular among the ganders too apparently.

 

I can't help but wonder: If a man pays a woman for sex, fetish sex, costume sex, plain old vanilla sex, what does a woman pay a man for?

 

Emotional connection? Plus all of the above, too, I'd imagine.

[Spark1111]

I disagree with you, both, Kajin and 2sure, I think it's not about compartmentizing, it's about emotional maturity and intellectual freedom. Any young adult or teen can do the same thing, almost at will. I could f**K one girl, drop her off, and be at another's in about an hour, and profess undying love to both, then go to my Grandma's and eat Sunday dinner, and be thought a moral, upright boy. As a person matures, you come to the point where ONS and casual sex loses your interest (other than the act, itself) and you begin, if you are wise, to want more. I can remember the first girl I ever screwed, and the first woman I ever made love to, there is simply no comparison. That there are supposedly mature people, who still view sex as a casual activity, or as a buyable commodity, just shows how mentallyy backward and emotionally immature society is, in general. The idea that sex becomes one of the "things to do, today", is , to me, appalling. 1) get breakfast 2) feed the cat 3)do laundry 4) f**K 5) go to work..... this concept is disgusting and frightening. Are we so regimented, so compartmentized, so dehumanized, that this is acceptible? I have read that people who have mastered yoga can orgasm without touching (although I love to touch). The idea that someday my GF and I can be so emotionally, spiritually and sexually in tune, that we can give each other orgasms without touching, has to be sexual Nirvana. I guess that everybody has to ask themselves is passion all about sex? If you answer yes, then you will probably never ever know true passion. OK, I'll get off my soapbox now.:D

 

I LOVE THIS JUST JOE!

 

If you do not have mind-blowing passion and true intimacy and a heart connection.....I'd rather ahem...take matters in hand personally.

 

And, while I would NEVER begrudge a woman for making money to support her kids if some idiot is willing to pay for it, I still feel sorry for the idiots.

 

Because to pay a stranger to make you feel wanted, needed, listened to, or sexually fulfilled when someone who cares for you is sleeping in your bed at home, is just about the saddest thing in the world.

 

Want a passionate, sexually mind-blowing partnership? You have to create it! Not just expect it. Not just pay for it when you can't create it.

 

Life is just too dang short.

 

Yoga, huh?

[BB07]

I disagree with you, both, Kajin and 2sure, I think it's not about compartmentizing, it's about emotional maturity and intellectual freedom. Any young adult or teen can do the same thing, almost at will. I could f**K one girl, drop her off, and be at another's in about an hour, and profess undying love to both, then go to my Grandma's and eat Sunday dinner, and be thought a moral, upright boy. As a person matures, you come to the point where ONS and casual sex loses your interest (other than the act, itself) and you begin, if you are wise, to want more. I can remember the first girl I ever screwed, and the first woman I ever made love to, there is simply no comparison. That there are supposedly mature people, who still view sex as a casual activity, or as a buyable commodity, just shows how mentallyy backward and emotionally immature society is, in general. The idea that sex becomes one of the "things to do, today", is , to me, appalling. 1) get breakfast 2) feed the cat 3)do laundry 4) f**K 5) go to work..... this concept is disgusting and frightening. Are we so regimented, so compartmentized, so dehumanized, that this is acceptible? I have read that people who have mastered yoga can orgasm without touching (although I love to touch). The idea that someday my GF and I can be so emotionally, spiritually and sexually in tune, that we can give each other orgasms without touching, has to be sexual Nirvana. I guess that everybody has to ask themselves is passion all about sex? If you answer yes, then you will probably never ever know true passion. OK, I'll get off my soapbox now.:D

 

Wow Joe.......awesome post! You have a lucky g/f.

 

Do you happen to have an older brother??

[Spark1111]

Wow Joe.......awesome post! You have a lucky g/f.

 

Do you happen to have an older brother??

 

Hahahaha BB!

 

And hopefully he isn't up at nights surfing porn while some woman is lying half naked sleeping in his bed!

 

And then he begins to want her to do what the porn stars do, and doesn't understand why she is growing more and more distant from him....

 

And then he has to call an escort to get his sexual needs met because what he doesn't know about women could fill an ocean! Poor guy!

 

What a vicious cycle!:D:D