Trying to maintain a LDR....

[jessyboo]

Well... I currently have a boyfriend of almost 8months and we're in a ldr. Plan to meet for the first time on New Years. We're both 18 years old so over the course of 8months we've had school and such so we didn't have the time to meet up (and couldn't afford it at the time).

 

But anyway... I've had a summer job, and over the summer I've developed somewhat of a crush on one of my coworkers. He's a really nice guy, amazing personality, and I've been told by some other coworkers that he has a bit of a crush on me too.

 

Lately I've been thinking really hard about a few things. I love my current boyfriend with all my heart, but there's just so many problems that may arise when we finally meet, and if we stay together for the rest of our lives. I mean, he's not exactly the same cultural background as me, and I have very old-fashioned parents and I already don't think they'll approve.

I'm Canadian and he's American, and my family hasn't had a great history with dating Americans.

 

The guy at my work is everything my parents would approve of. They won't approve much of my current boyfriend.

 

Ugh, I mean, I'm afraid if the guy asks me out... I'm so tempted to say yes, but I really do care for and love my boyfriend I have. He treats me like I'm the only girl in his life and cares for me to death. He always puts me before him no matter what.

 

The guy at work is just sweet, really funny, etc. Ach. I don't want to say I love him, because I don't, but I'm really starting to like him a lot the more we talk.

 

I've told my boyfriend that this guy has a crush on me at my work, he's already not too pleased. I haven't mentioned anything about me liking him though.

 

I'm really stuck. I want to please my family (I know they'll love the guy at my work, but they really won't like the boyfriend I'm currently with), but I want to be happy as well. Because I already know if my family isn't happy with who I'm in a relationship with, then I will never be happy knowing that.

And I definitely don't want to hurt anyone's feelings either... It's just on my mind so much I just can't focus on regular things anymore.

 

Any possible advice would be greatly appreciated, thank you.

[aerogurl87]

It sounds like you really like your boyfriend, but I don't think you actually love him. If you loved him a little crush would be nothing, not enough to get you to waver in wanting to be with your boyfriend. With that said since you two haven't met yet that may be another reason why you're unsure about your relationship. Perhaps you should meet him first and then decide what you want from there, but if you just can't resist your coworker then it's best you break up.

[CycleOfLove]

Tell me? Who is going to date these guys YOU, or your PARENTS?

all i see is " my parents wont approve, my parents love everything about the other guy, my parents.. my parents " Who cares what your parents think?

If you really loved your boyfriend you wouldn't have given up on him so fast.

[USMCHokie]

End it with your boyfriend. You don't seem to be capable of a long distance relationship.

[madjac74]

If you really care about your bf, you'd let him go so he can move on. He is far away planning to meet you and you are there pursuing someone else. That's cheating in my book. You like your bf but you have something there that you like too and is much easier than an LDR. USMCHokie is right. You would never survive an LDR.

[LisaLee]

I mean, he's not exactly the same cultural background as me... I'm Canadian and he's American

 

Oh come on... millions of Canadians and Americans have hooked up despite "cultural" differences, including one of the posters who replied to this thread. You're just looking for excuses at this point. Dump the bf, hook up with the local boy since your so concerned about your parents wishes.

[USMCHokie]

Oh come on... millions of Canadians and Americans have hooked up despite "cultural" differences, including one of the posters who replied to this thread. You're just looking for excuses at this point. Dump the bf, hook up with the local boy since your so concerned about your parents wishes.

 

The "parents' wishes" seem like a justification she's created in her mind to make her feel better about ditching the LDR boyfriend and pursuing the local guy.

[aerogurl87]

Oh come on... millions of Canadians and Americans have hooked up despite "cultural" differences, including one of the posters who replied to this thread. You're just looking for excuses at this point. Dump the bf, hook up with the local boy since your so concerned about your parents wishes.

 

Ok from my experience the "cultural differences" between Canadians and Americans is not that great. The only difference I find between my boyfriend and I is that I love American football, he loves hockey, and I say "ya'll" while he says "eh?" So I think that excuse is pure BS. Obviously the OP likes this new guy and is finding any and every reason to justify dumping her long distance boyfriend for him. And yes having your parents like your boyfriend is nice, but if you really loved him their lack of approval wouldn't be the nail in the coffin for this relationship.

[LisaLee]

The "parents' wishes" seem like a justification she's created in her mind to make her feel better about ditching the LDR boyfriend and pursuing the local guy.

 

And yes having your parents like your boyfriend is nice, but if you really loved him their lack of approval wouldn't be the nail in the coffin for this relationship.

 

In total agreement here and am speaking from experience. I am also from a conservative, traditional background, my mom was initially not too keen on my SO because we met online and he is a few years younger than me. She asked me to not visit him the first time, and I did. She discouraged me talking to him, but I continued for two reasons: 1) I'm an adult but more importantly 2) I was falling madly in love with him.

 

My mom has since backed off my SO. She found out that my SO helps his dad out financially, and I think she admires that in him. Plus my brother's relationship drama is monopolizing her worries.