Update: Not Dating American Women Anymore

[Untouchable_Fire]

No, this is not a satisfying answer to my question, Woggle.

I, too, have had my fair share of unhappy relationships, and as it happens they've all been with American men. Let's see...my father abused and then left my mother, classic walkaway husband I suppose. My exH was a completely opposite personality...BUT he was a liar and a cheater.

So, I suppose if I really were looking for the one thing the disappointing men in my life all had in common, I suppose I could point to the fact that they're all American. Since it didn't work out, that must be why, right?

It's not because they're men, and it's not because they're American. I would never dream of starting a thread suggesting either of those things, because I think it's just silly. People are complex. We are large; we contain multitudes.

And that is why I think I will never understand the impulse to do this. Just not going to understand it, I suppose.

 

Flying... I think that's because you don't understand the discussion. Instead of just being insulted by the idea... take a step back and look at it objectively.

 

I have not really been talking about what I feel American culture does to men, but I think it does some pretty awful things. I think it tends to push men to be either really good or really bad.

 

In terms of women... I'm saying our culture and laws take what would normally be great women and train them to be selfish and lazy in relationships.

 

Oh, so when an American woman reads: we're supposed to look at his comparisons to "American women" and JUST because HE has a lousy history of choosing decent women, that is the fault of American women as a whole and we're gonna just say, "Oh, sure. Go ahead and label us, as a group, a bunch of materialistic, greedy, selfish, lazy, incompetent, cheating sluts. We don't mind." Not a chance.

 

Just because a handful of you don't fit the description does not mean the label doesn't apply.

 

Also... if you look around... I think your going to find most men have had a similar experience.

 

I've found over the last few months that most of my female friends have been cheated on at one point. All of my guy friends... every single one who has had a relationship over 6 months has been cheated on.

 

Plus as an example... my friend Paul had his wife move in with another man 2 years ago. Their 2 boys live with Paul and his wife refuses to see them more than once a month. Paul pays his xwife $36,000 a year... and she contributes nothing to the boys. The court refuses to grant him more than 50% custody... so he will pay forever.

 

Paul would like to move on... but he can't really afford to date since he spends most of his time and money on his boys. The women in Paul's area expect more time and more money than he is able to provide.

 

I've been chased by arrogant jackasses before, as well as the milquetoast saps who I could walk all over with my spiked heels, and they'd come back for more. I didn't want either, so I waited until my guy came along. He cares about the common good of all, is generous and kind and intelligent, BUT he would NOT take any crap off anyone. In other words, he commands respect. He doesn't DEmand it He COMmands it. BIG difference, but I doubt either of you could discern it. A good American woman certainly can.

 

I know the difference... and I would say your correct... A GOOD one can. Lucky for you women here who can tell the difference are rare, which made you a catch.

 

Yeah - finding that combination took time, but it was worth the wait. If someone has to go to another country or find a woman of some kind of subservient culture in order to be able to get along with them, then perhaps that is saying more about THAT person than the people they've dated in the past.

 

Subservient? Thats a false stereotype.

 

So far it seems the biggest difference is the relationship doesn't feel like a power struggle. More like two equals, than two people trying to dominate or out-compete the other.

 

Remember - there's also one OTHER thing all the American women you've dated "have in common": they've dated YOU.

 

I've dated a HUGE variety, and I've actually changed the type I go for several times over the years...

 

But it's always easier just to blame the guy for everything... right?

 

 

No, I'm trying to help him understand how someone else may view his diatribe against American women in general. He doesn't come across on LS as a complete A-hole, so I figured he might care.Just because exact words weren't spoken does NOT mean (once again, unless you're a complete moron) that the meaning isn't crystal clear.It has everything to do with what he said, but perhaps you aren't able to see it. ;)Some people need things explained multiple times. :laugh:Sorry you're incapable of following. Try a more parochial type of forum, perhaps...

 

That's actually a fair description of me... not a complete A-hole.

 

And have you seen how many women, including me, disagree that men should always pay? I'm sure THOSE posts escaped your razor-like perception.

 

It also doesn't escape my perception that most GUYS on those threads say they like to pay.

 

Again, the downfall of my sister. She sucks to be around. Oh, and as for the part I bolded just above, you obviously have bought into this "theory" of the OP's as well. Look, I know there are selfish, self centered, materialistic, lazy, ignorant women in this country. You think there aren't men like that too? And are you and the OP so limited that you can't conceive of there being people like that in OTHER countries? The first time my guy discovered I bake and cook and do both well, he was quite happy. Trust me, I know that these days, with so many two income families, you don't see as much of that any more. In fact, my mother was a stay at home mom. She actually hand baked ALL of our bread. We NEVER ate store bought bread. Now I can make a mean loaf of bread too, but I don't do it often because I have a full time job, but I do cook meals for my family, and I REALLY enjoy watching them relishing every bite. I like making my loved ones happy, as do MANY OTHER American women.

 

Personally, I could care less about the cooking. She helped me with a presentation, which is something I've never had a woman do before. I can't remember the last time a GF cared about what I do for a living beyond how much it paid.

 

I think I sorta understand what the OP's side is saying. In well-off countries like the U.S., some people-- of BOTH sexes-- will become complacent, because they are not in need of anything. That can bring laziness if a person does not have motivation or goals to work toward. I thin that's a fair statement to make. Still, all women in the U.S. should not be lumped together as being that way, just like the men shouldn't be, and we should recognize that everyone's different. Not all American women are as bad as described. In fact, many American women are quite hardworking, as well as educated.

 

4 years ago my GF had her MBA, and believed Washington DC was in the Dakotas, because that's where Mt.Rushmore is located. If I had an internet capable phone back then it would have saved me a 20 minute argument.

 

Education and intelligence are not the same thing.

 

Watch out, Sphere! You'll be getting tagged with a label pretty soon.

You know, I moved back to the midwest from the West Coast because of the attitudes that have been maligned in this thread. They exist in HUGE numbers in the coastal cities, but not so much as you move inward.

I wonder why that is...

OP, I'm sorry. Where do you live? What part of the country? Perhaps THAT has been the problem.

 

... I do live on the west coast. I actually didn't think about it at the time, but I have had some decent experiences with a girl from South Dakota, and one from Minnesota. That was about 7 years ago.

 

I think it was Labster who pointed out a possible correlation between women who held Liberal beliefs being the primary issue.

[flying]

Remember, there's also one OTHER thing all the American men you've dated "have in common": they've dated YOU.

 

Sigh. This just goes to show that you didn't really understand my point.

 

As I said, I'm willing to have perspective and see that I am the link in my bad relationships. I notice, however, that you don't raise this point with the OP.

 

That was my whole point. Thanks for paying attention.

 

Edited to add...ohhh. I just realized who you are. Hello again.

Edited October 1, 2010 by flying

[flying]

Flying... I think that's because you don't understand the discussion. Instead of just being insulted by the idea... take a step back and look at it objectively.

 

I have not really been talking about what I feel American culture does to men, but I think it does some pretty awful things. I think it tends to push men to be either really good or really bad.

 

In terms of women... I'm saying our culture and laws take what would normally be great women and train them to be selfish and lazy in relationships.

 

No, I understand it fine, thanks.

 

Honestly, I think perhaps you and others here are misunderstanding my point, in your eagerness to make yours.

 

I get it: You think American culture turns women into something negative. Noted.

 

Now here's what I'm saying. Reread what you wrote, above. Do you see a difference between the section on men (American culture makes them either very good or very bad) and the section on women (American culture takes great women and makes them bad).

 

Do you not see how your own prejudice plays into the difference in how you perceive these two impacts? To me, the fact that that difference is there, still unperceived by you, really undermines your hypothesis here. If you can get to a place where it's not about women, then perhaps I'd see this differently, and focus on the culture. But you have only talked about negative impacts of culture on American women; you suggest it is positive for some men.

 

Taking this entire thread into account, I agree with Taramere: The way you've presented this suggests lingering anger, not positive energy. Presentation is everything.

 

Regardless. I still maintain that the link in your previous relationships is you, and perhaps you are looking for something more healthy now, and that's great for you. One way to keep that positive focus is to turn away from denigrating others.

[donnamaybe]

I've found over the last few months that most of my female friends have been cheated on at one point. All of my guy friends... every single one who has had a relationship over 6 months has been cheated on.

So it's both women AND men who are f'd up. Gotcha. Aren't you an American man? Just kidding!

 

Plus as an example... my friend Paul had his wife move in with another man 2 years ago. Their 2 boys live with Paul and his wife refuses to see them more than once a month. Paul pays his xwife $36,000 a year... and she contributes nothing to the boys. The court refuses to grant him more than 50% custody... so he will pay forever.

 

Paul would like to move on... but he can't really afford to date since he spends most of his time and money on his boys. The women in Paul's area expect more time and more money than he is able to provide.

Then Paul's lawyer SUCKS! Any good attorney can take information from the right people and prove a case for him to continue to have his children and for HER to pay HIM support.

 

 

I know the difference... and I would say your correct... A GOOD one can. Lucky for you women here who can tell the difference are rare, which made you a catch.

Well, thanks, UF. That was nice of you to say.

 

 

Subservient? Thats a false stereotype.

You're absolutely right. I was just being a PITA on purpose for Whiner's benefit.

 

 

So far it seems the biggest difference is the relationship doesn't feel like a power struggle. More like two equals, than two people trying to dominate or out-compete the other.

Well, then, that's a GOOD thing.

 

I've dated a HUGE variety, and I've actually changed the type I go for several times over the years...

 

But it's always easier just to blame the guy for everything... right?

As you can see from other postings in this thread, I most certainly do not blame "the guy" for everything.

 

 

 

 

 

That's actually a fair description of me... not a complete A-hole.

Now, now. I wasn't calling you a partial a-hole either.

 

 

 

It also doesn't escape my perception that most GUYS on those threads say they like to pay.

It didn't escape mine either, but I wonder why they feel like they HAVE to always pay.

 

 

 

Personally, I could care less about the cooking. She helped me with a presentation, which is something I've never had a woman do before. I can't remember the last time a GF cared about what I do for a living beyond how much it paid.

When my guy and I were first dating, someone had brought to my attention the unclaimed money website. I did a few searches, and lo and behold I found about $780 my guy had coming to him. I'm good with the paperwork drill, so I offered and he accepted, so I prepared all the documents for his signature, and he got his money.

 

 

 

4 years ago my GF had her MBA, and believed Washington DC was in the Dakotas, because that's where Mt.Rushmore is located. If I had an internet capable phone back then it would have saved me a 20 minute argument.

 

Education and intelligence are not the same thing.

You got that right!

 

 

 

 

... I do live on the west coast. I actually didn't think about it at the time, but I have had some decent experiences with a girl from South Dakota, and one from Minnesota. That was about 7 years ago.

We have a winnuh!!!!

 

 

I think it was Labster who pointed out a possible correlation between women who held Liberal beliefs being the primary issue.

I tend to lean toward liberal, but I still like to cook my man a good dinner.

[TheBigQuestion]

There is one inalienable truth about LS: Any generalization about women or a subgroup of women is going to offend virtually every woman on the board. They will all then aggressively try to subdue any attempt to actually discuss whatever the claim is with cries of "It doesn't apply to me" or "Guys do it too."

 

This could be a rich discussion over what cultural or socioeconomic forces in the US can possibly influence female dating behaviors, but instead it's turned into another gender-based pissing contest. Was the OPs first post potentially inflammatory? Yes. That does not mean he needs to be raked over coals for any reason.

 

First off, women in this thread need to stop making false GENERALIZATIONS about women from other cultures. I don't think OP has mentioned WHERE his current squeeze is from, yet there have been numerous posts in this thread assuming that the woman is from some "subservient" culture. Someone has also elaborated an unfounded generalization that all men who get fed up with American women who then find happiness with a foreign woman are all looking for subservient women, or that they are "losers" who can't get with American women. The OP and other men in this thread clearly negate this, as they CAN and HAVE gotten with American women their whole lives.

 

Perhaps the most disturbing trend in this thread is that some people flat out refuse to believe that generalizations have merit. The generalization above is false because no one in this thread is talking about something like the mail-order-bride phenomenon.

 

Generalizations do not emerge out of the blue; they are nearly always at least a partial reflection of reality. I have no personal stake in anything in this thread, as I've never dated any foreign women, so I have no basis for comparison. As I stated in a previous thread, it is my steadfast belief that most people are capable of acting absolutely monstrous as a result of various circumstances in their lives. Therefore, I don't have any reason to believe that women from one country are in some way inherently worse as dating/marriage partners than women from another country. Unfortunately, instead of having a fine discussion on this subject, all we have is a bunch of self-righteously indignant rubbish.

[donnamaybe]

The OP and a couple other guys and I seem to be having a right fine discussion.

 

Stop trying to take it to the manure pile, wouldja?

[GooseChaser]

Flying... I think that's because you don't understand the discussion. Instead of just being insulted by the idea... take a step back and look at it objectively. I have not really been talking about what I feel American culture does to men, but I think it does some pretty awful things. I think it tends to push men to be either really good or really bad. In terms of women... I'm saying our culture and laws take what would normally be great women and train them to be selfish and lazy in relationships. Just because a handful of you don't fit the description does not mean the label doesn't apply. Also... if you look around... I think your going to find most men have had a similar experience. I've found over the last few months that most of my female friends have been cheated on at one point. All of my guy friends... every single one who has had a relationship over 6 months has been cheated on. Plus as an example... my friend Paul had his wife move in with another man 2 years ago. Their 2 boys live with Paul and his wife refuses to see them more than once a month. Paul pays his xwife $36,000 a year... and she contributes nothing to the boys. The court refuses to grant him more than 50% custody... so he will pay forever. Paul would like to move on... but he can't really afford to date since he spends most of his time and money on his boys. The women in Paul's area expect more time and more money than he is able to provide. I know the difference... and I would say your correct... A GOOD one can. Lucky for you women here who can tell the difference are rare, which made you a catch. Subservient? Thats a false stereotype. So far it seems the biggest difference is the relationship doesn't feel like a power struggle. More like two equals, than two people trying to dominate or out-compete the other. I've dated a HUGE variety, and I've actually changed the type I go for several times over the years... But it's always easier just to blame the guy for everything... right? That's actually a fair description of me... not a complete A-hole.

 

4 years ago my GF had her MBA, and believed Washington DC was in the Dakotas, because that's where Mt.Rushmore is located. If I had an internet capable phone back then it would have saved me a 20 minute argument. Education and intelligence are not the same thing.

I agree that education and intelligence are not the same thing. They often go hand in hand, though. There are also different kinds of intelligence: first, the one tested for on IQ tests, and second, emotional intelligence. Women are often known for being in tune with emotional matters. I hope you aren't implying that American women are unintelligent? Many American women are both well-educated and intelligent, though admittedly a good education doesn't guarantee that a person is the smartest or has the best common sense.

Edited October 1, 2010 by GooseChaser

[Untouchable_Fire]

No, I understand it fine, thanks.

Honestly, I think perhaps you and others here are misunderstanding my point, in your eagerness to make yours.

I get it: You think American culture turns women into something negative. Noted.

Now here's what I'm saying. Reread what you wrote, above. Do you see a difference between the section on men (American culture makes them either very good or very bad) and the section on women (American culture takes great women and makes them bad).

Do you not see how your own prejudice plays into the difference in how you perceive these two impacts? To me, the fact that that difference is there, still unperceived by you, really undermines your hypothesis here. If you can get to a place where it's not about women, then perhaps I'd see this differently, and focus on the culture. But you have only talked about negative impacts of culture on American women; you suggest it is positive for some men.

Taking this entire thread into account, I agree with Taramere: The way you've presented this suggests lingering anger, not positive energy. Presentation is everything.

Regardless. I still maintain that the link in your previous relationships is you, and perhaps you are looking for something more healthy now, and that's great for you. One way to keep that positive focus is to turn away from denigrating others.

 

If you want to know how I feel. It's disappointed and frustrated. It's currently very tempered with this happiness and hopefulness that I'm done with all the garbage.

 

It's like driving a Lexus... I love the car and I won't give it up for anything... but I'm sad they don't make good ones here anymore.

 

Also I would like to say that the driving force behind the previous thread was being told that all the relationship failures are my fault when in reality they are not. There are a few other links in my previous relationships... one of which is a shared culture and upbringing.

 

So it's both women AND men who are f'd up. Gotcha. Aren't you an American man? Just kidding!

 

Yeah... sometimes proud of it and sometimes not.

 

No, I understand it fine, thanks.

Honestly, I think perhaps you and others here are misunderstanding my point, in your eagerness to make yours.

I get it: You think American culture turns women into something negative. Noted.

Now here's what I'm saying. Reread what you wrote, above. Do you see a difference between the section on men (American culture makes them either very good or very bad) and the section on women (American culture takes great women and makes them bad).

Do you not see how your own prejudice plays into the difference in how you perceive these two impacts? To me, the fact that that difference is there, still unperceived by you, really undermines your hypothesis here. If you can get to a place where it's not about women, then perhaps I'd see this differently, and focus on the culture. But you have only talked about negative impacts of culture on American women; you suggest it is positive for some men.

Taking this entire thread into account, I agree with Taramere: The way you've presented this suggests lingering anger, not positive energy. Presentation is everything.

Regardless. I still maintain that the link in your previous relationships is you, and perhaps you are looking for something more healthy now, and that's great for you. One way to keep that positive focus is to turn away from denigrating others.

 

If you want to know how I feel. It's disappointed and frustrated. It's currently very tempered with this happiness and hopefulness that I'm done with all the garbage.

 

It's like driving a Lexus... I love the car and I won't give it up for anything... but I'm sad they don't make good ones here anymore.

 

Also I would like to say that the driving force behind the previous thread was being told that all the relationship failures are my fault when in reality they are not. There are a few other links in my previous relationships... one of which is a shared culture and upbringing.

 

Then Paul's lawyer SUCKS! Any good attorney can take information from the right people and prove a case for him to continue to have his children and for HER to pay HIM support.

 

Paul has a decent lawyer... unfortunately so does she. The only way he can get full custody of the kids in this state is for her to not show up to court... and since it's worth $36,000 a year... she will always show up.

 

Well, then, that's a GOOD thing.

As you can see from other postings in this thread, I most certainly do not blame "the guy" for everything.

 

That's true... but it's frequently the default setting.

 

The most shocking thread I've seen here in months was the one where I think TC stated that she is responsible for her own sexual gratification...

 

I assume she must be older... because I've never run into that attitude in real life. If she isn't having a good time... it's my fault. It's almost always my job to keep her happy, not the other way around. Which is odd because I think naturally women are inclined to try harder to keep a relationship good... it's just here they are taught that's bad and it takes years for reality to crash through that perception.

 

Now, now. I wasn't calling you a partial a-hole either.

 

Whew... otherwise I'd have to admit that I am.

 

It didn't escape mine either, but I wonder why they feel like they HAVE to always pay.

 

Culture and competition. We are told that our ability to pay is how women value us and we are afraid if we don't pay we will be judged negatively against the guy who does.

 

Even the guys who pretend to be all chivalrous have these motives in the back of their head.

 

When my guy and I were first dating, someone had brought to my attention the unclaimed money website. I did a few searches, and lo and behold I found about $780 my guy had coming to him. I'm good with the paperwork drill, so I offered and he accepted, so I prepared all the documents for his signature, and he got his money.

 

You rock!

 

I'd use that money for some super fun dates.

 

We have a winnuh!!!!

I tend to lean toward liberal, but I still like to cook my man a good dinner.

 

Wait... your from Minnesota?

[Untouchable_Fire]

I agree that education and intelligence are not the same thing. They often go hand in hand, though. There are also different kinds of intelligence: first, the one tested for on IQ tests, and second, emotional intelligence. Women are often known for being in tune with emotional matters. I hope you aren't implying that American women are unintelligent? Many American women are both well-educated and intelligent, though admittedly a good education doesn't guarantee that a person is the smartest or has the best common sense.

 

I'm saying I value Intelligence over Education, and that I don't believe there is a huge difference between countries in female intelligence. Every country has plenty of smart women.

 

The part I value most about Education.... is a woman's attitude towards it. If she thinks education is unnecessary... she won't be a good fit for me.

 

I remember in highschool my education oriented friends were often labeled as "nerds" and "geeks". American girls didn't like them much. At 30 they are doing much better... but I think that's because most of them have good careers. Actually... of my two best friends, one married an Asian woman, and the other is dating an Austrian girl. Oh... and our Valedictorian (now a Harvard Grad) married a Russian woman... and lives in Russia with her.

[BruceLeroy]

Hey man, something popped into my head over there in your thread about you buddy. Let me guess - chick is an American woman right? So your worried for him. I get it. Youre all happy right now and you want the same for your buddy. But here is the thing...

 

Do you really believe if he wer to date a chick from a different country that he might not be dealing with the same issue? Do you believe if he dated a woman from a different country he would have the same experience your getting with the one you dating?

 

Stop and ask yourself Am I recognizin the chick Im seein now for who she is or am I only recognizing her for her ethnicity? Like sayin of course so and so friend can drink more than you cuz he is Irish after all! Its the same as thinking the nice stuff your GF is doing is not because shes a sweet and caring person but because her ethnicity prompts her to do it. All I'm trying to get across to you man is, don't **** this up by not giving her credit where its due. Go on too much about how the nice **** she does is cuz she aint American and she just might feel unrecognized for the choice she make in being sweet to you because you actin like its not a choice for her so much as it is a breed trait.

[Untouchable_Fire]

Hey man, something popped into my head over there in your thread about you buddy. Let me guess - chick is an American woman right? So your worried for him. I get it. Youre all happy right now and you want the same for your buddy. But here is the thing...

Do you really believe if he wer to date a chick from a different country that he might not be dealing with the same issue? Do you believe if he dated a woman from a different country he would have the same experience your getting with the one you dating?

Stop and ask yourself Am I recognizin the chick Im seein now for who she is or am I only recognizing her for her ethnicity? Like sayin of course so and so friend can drink more than you cuz he is Irish after all! Its the same as thinking the nice stuff your GF is doing is not because shes a sweet and caring person but because her ethnicity prompts her to do it. All I'm trying to get across to you man is, don't **** this up by not giving her credit where its due. Go on too much about how the nice **** she does is cuz she aint American and she just might feel unrecognized for the choice she make in being sweet to you because you actin like its not a choice for her so much as it is a breed trait.

 

I would put it more like this.

 

American culture is more likely to STOP a woman from doing the nice and sweet things she would naturally do for a BF or Husband. She has been told constantly that doing such things makes her subservient and lowly... and that her true value to a man is only in her looks.

 

Whereas women not inundated with the same cultural messages are more free to be themselves in this regard, and they understand that men do not only pick women based on physical attributes.

 

In regards to my friend and his GF... He would have problems with any girl, mostly because his overall life confidence level is low. The girl I don't like on a personal level. I would not associate with her at all, if she wasnt dating my friend.

[nddb]

There is one inalienable truth about LS: Any generalization about women or a subgroup of women is going to offend virtually every woman on the board. They will all then aggressively try to subdue any attempt to actually discuss whatever the claim is with cries of "It doesn't apply to me" or "Guys do it too."

 

This could be a rich discussion over what cultural or socioeconomic forces in the US can possibly influence female dating behaviors, but instead it's turned into another gender-based pissing contest. Was the OPs first post potentially inflammatory? Yes. That does not mean he needs to be raked over coals for any reason.

 

First off, women in this thread need to stop making false GENERALIZATIONS about women from other cultures. I don't think OP has mentioned WHERE his current squeeze is from, yet there have been numerous posts in this thread assuming that the woman is from some "subservient" culture. Someone has also elaborated an unfounded generalization that all men who get fed up with American women who then find happiness with a foreign woman are all looking for subservient women, or that they are "losers" who can't get with American women. The OP and other men in this thread clearly negate this, as they CAN and HAVE gotten with American women their whole lives.

 

Perhaps the most disturbing trend in this thread is that some people flat out refuse to believe that generalizations have merit. The generalization above is false because no one in this thread is talking about something like the mail-order-bride phenomenon.

 

Generalizations do not emerge out of the blue; they are nearly always at least a partial reflection of reality. I have no personal stake in anything in this thread, as I've never dated any foreign women, so I have no basis for comparison. As I stated in a previous thread, it is my steadfast belief that most people are capable of acting absolutely monstrous as a result of various circumstances in their lives. Therefore, I don't have any reason to believe that women from one country are in some way inherently worse as dating/marriage partners than women from another country. Unfortunately, instead of having a fine discussion on this subject, all we have is a bunch of self-righteously indignant rubbish.

 

Thank you.

 

At times, it feels like marketing war. It feels like the people pushing the "products" feel the need to denigrate other "products" with sweeping generalizations. These are human beings we are talking about.

 

And let it rest with the subservient stereotype of non-American women already. Look up who's who of world leaders and see how many foreign women lead their country. When was the last time we had a US female president. So much for the subservient foreign women stereotype.

 

You gals/guys don't need to denigrate other women to make your point.

 

And this applies to both genders in this thread.

Edited October 2, 2010 by nddb

[classof2014]

As someone in college/recent HS grad, I can tell you that the submissive stereotype of Asian women/foreign women is completely false. I just attended a marketing conference and about all the women there (except a few) were Asian. Definitely not future housewife material. In terms of dating, I do notice that lots of American caucasion couples tend to have a sex for slavery type of relationship. The guy gets sex, and the girl gets to boss him around. I see lots of guys that just walk around with their girlfriend gawking at her in a stupid gaze kinda way. Whenever I see asian couples/mixed race couples (my area doesn't have lots of other races), they seem more like partners. They walk equally and seem to enjoy each others company on an emotional level more. Im not saying all couples are like this, but many are from my observation.

[Woggle]

Foreign women are far from doormats and if American women are so independent and strong why do I notice many chasing after married man while treating the loving and faithful man that would die for them like utter garbage.

[GooseChaser]

No one's putting down foreign women. They come in all types. I'm sure there are plenty of stunning women out there of all ethnicities and nationalities. I haven't gotten to travel a lot and see it, but I know it's there. The world isn't split into "America" on one side, and "The Rest of the World" on the other. Come on now. There is so much variety in this world.

[Woggle]

No one's putting down foreign women. They come in all types. I'm sure there are plenty of stunning women out there of all ethnicities and nationalities. I haven't gotten to travel a lot and see it, but I know it's there. The world isn't split into "America" on one side, and "The Rest of the World" on the other. Come on now. There is so much variety in this world.

 

It isn't that extreme but the American mentality is what tends to influence women. I read some of the things men go through and it's like their women are reading from a script that they pass around.

[GooseChaser]

It isn't that extreme but the American mentality is what tends to influence women. I read some of the things men go through and it's like their women are reading from a script that they pass around.

If these women are chasing after married men, they have low standards of morality and are lowering and shaming themselves. They aren't anyone to be jealous of. It also shows that they don't have much respect for their marriage vows and those of others, and that is a very sad thing.

[Woggle]

If these women are chasing after married men, they have low standards of morality and are lowering and shaming themselves. They aren't anyone to be jealous of. It also shows that they don't have much respect for their marriage vows and those of others, and that is a very sad thing.

 

It is very sad and very common. I know men who wear fake wedding rings so they can more easily get dates and it works like a charm every time while these same men were ignored when they didn't wear one. What this say about modern day relationships when some women think a man being married makes him more attractive and in many cases they love other women's husbands more than they love their own.

[Untouchable_Fire]

Foreign women are far from doormats and if American women are so independent and strong why do I notice many chasing after married man while treating the loving and faithful man that would die for them like utter garbage.

 

I think it's because American women are taught that they need to be the prettiest girl at the party. Additionally they are inundated with life expectations that exceed realistic possibility.

 

It doesnt matter how great you have it.... if you expected more then your going to be unhappy.

 

Finally, we have unwittingly provided a legal system that allows women in the U.S. to profit enormously from divorce and use children as cash tokens.

 

No one's putting down foreign women. They come in all types. I'm sure there are plenty of stunning women out there of all ethnicities and nationalities. I haven't gotten to travel a lot and see it, but I know it's there. The world isn't split into "America" on one side, and "The Rest of the World" on the other. Come on now. There is so much variety in this world.

 

Go back and read through the thread. There have been some really snide comments and stereotypes about foreign women.

 

2 girls with similar family backgrounds but different cultural heritages... both are xGF's from before I turned 20, both had a father in prison, both with massive daddy issues, both with crazy controlling moms, and both with a history of abusive boyfriends. The Korean girl went to college and became a physician through ROTC, married a 1/2 Korean Sgt. who as I hear treats her like gold. The American girl worked as a stripper for 6 years has 3 kids with 3 guys... one xBF has been convicted of molesting their daughter, and she routinely leaves all 3 kids with him while she indulges in drug binges.

 

It isn't that extreme but the American mentality is what tends to influence women. I read some of the things men go through and it's like their women are reading from a script that they pass around.

 

I have a friend from Kuwait who can't believe what we put up with. He dated a couple of women here and says he would never have a child with a woman raised in the U.S.

 

I take that with a grain of salt though... because he comes from a country where the laws are somewhat slanted towards men. They are fairly progressive compared to most Muslim countries. Men have lots of rights... but also HUGE amounts of responsibility... which is how life works.

[GooseChaser]

It is very sad and very common. I know men who wear fake wedding rings so they can more easily get dates and it works like a charm every time while these same men were ignored when they didn't wear one. What this say about modern day relationships when some women think a man being married makes him more attractive and in many cases they love other women's husbands more than they love their own.

It speaks poorly for the woman's character. Also, there is a basis in human nature for this. It is the same for men and women in relationships-- they can become more attractive to singles, and the singles might be interested in them when they wouldn't have been if the person was unattached, because they can see that the person's partner is happy and into them.

[Crazy Magnet]

It is very sad and very common. I know men who wear fake wedding rings so they can more easily get dates and it works like a charm every time while these same men were ignored when they didn't wear one. What this say about modern day relationships when some women think a man being married makes him more attractive and in many cases they love other women's husbands more than they love their own.

 

You should probably stop hanging around men like that because they suck. It says you man friends have no morals. What kind of gentleman would ever do that? No one I'd ever be caught dead hanging around.

 

Anyway, I find it interesting that people lump foreign women into one category. There's a big difference between Finnish women and ladies from Singapore. This board would do well to recognize that every thing out there other than America is foreign to us and that there are so many different cultures represented.

 

Can't we all just love each other and be happy.

[GooseChaser]

Go back and read through the thread. There have been some really snide comments and stereotypes about foreign women.

 

2 girls with similar family backgrounds but different cultural heritages... both are xGF's from before I turned 20, both had a father in prison, both with massive daddy issues, both with crazy controlling moms, and both with a history of abusive boyfriends. The Korean girl went to college and became a physician through ROTC, married a 1/2 Korean Sgt. who as I hear treats her like gold. The American girl worked as a stripper for 6 years has 3 kids with 3 guys... one xBF has been convicted of molesting their daughter, and she routinely leaves all 3 kids with him while she indulges in drug binges.

Well, see, the differences in their life paths weren't just because of their nationalities, but more because of their cultural differences and who they were. Asians are often known for being very ambitious, which is clearly demonstrated by the Korean xGF. She went through college, lived respectably and with self-respect, got a good education and career, and has been successful! That is wonderful to hear! I am glad that she is happy! The American xGF, on the other hand, chose the path of a stripper, which is well-paying, yes, but is less respectable of a career choice and has less bright of a future, and she chose to forego a college education, unless you left that out. She also chose to be irresponsible and have three kids with three men, as you said. This is totally on her and is not purely a result of being American, and more a result of her particular upbringing, beliefs, values, and standards of morality. I am so sorry to hear about the mistreatment of one of her daughters, and I'm glad that the man responsible has been convicted. She still leaves her kids with him to go on drug binges, though??? This really speaks to her character. All I can say is... YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW. The moral of the story, definitely! She deserves what she gets-- and the man does too!-- but I feel really bad for her kids. I hope they will be okay, and wish the best for them.

[Untouchable_Fire]

It speaks poorly for the woman's character. Also, there is a basis in human nature for this. It is the same for men and women in relationships-- they can become more attractive to singles, and the singles might be interested in them when they wouldn't have been if the person was unattached, because they can see that the person's partner is happy and into them.

 

Throughout recorded history, this type of behavior was dangerous. Only in todays society do we promote it and glorify it!

 

Anyway, I find it interesting that people lump foreign women into one category. There's a big difference between Finnish women and ladies from Singapore. This board would do well to recognize that every thing out there other than America is foreign to us and that there are so many different cultures represented.

Can't we all just love each other and be happy.

 

Yeah... blame the single guys who wear rings to get women instead of the women chasing men with rings. That makes sense

 

Part of the problem here is that we put zero responsibility on women. When you expect nothing from somebody... they tend to give you nothing. It's a self fulfilling prophecy.

 

On another note... Finnish Singapore... Almost like Finnish Turkey

[GooseChaser]

You should probably stop hanging around men like that because they suck. It says you man friends have no morals. What kind of gentleman would ever do that? No one I'd ever be caught dead hanging around.

 

Anyway, I find it interesting that people lump foreign women into one category. There's a big difference between Finnish women and ladies from Singapore. This board would do well to recognize that every thing out there other than America is foreign to us and that there are so many different cultures represented.

 

Can't we all just love each other and be happy.

I agree! Seconded!

[GooseChaser]

Yeah... blame the single guys who wear rings to get women instead of the women chasing men with rings. That makes sense

 

Part of the problem here is that we put zero responsibility on women. When you expect nothing from somebody... they tend to give you nothing. It's a self fulfilling prophecy.

 

On another note... Finnish Singapore... Almost like Finnish Turkey

No, women do have responsibility put on them, just like men. Only foolish people would accept letting them get away with anything.