Leandro's log

[Leandro]

Then theoretically walking your sister across the field should be a painless process.

Hopefully, just have to wait and see. There is going to be so many things there to remind her of me. me, my sister, my mom and brother. My brother will sit right below her in the band. I hope it's hell for her.

[Leandro]

ok, change of plan. My dad will be able to escort her. I still have to go to take picture, but I'm fine with that.

[durkadurka]

Yes, but its my sister. If I don't go she will walk alone on the field. My family will give a ****.

 

And the Russians believe that retreating was weakness. That's why officers were order to shoot retreating troops during WW2. That's also why the kicked the German's ***, but I'm not

Russian.

 

They also had the most casualties too, so bear that in mind.

[Leandro]

They also had the most casualties too, so bear that in mind.

true again, but every thing is going to be fine now. I shouldn't see her Friday and no more after that, hopefully.

[fun2bewith]

We'll I'm just starting this so I can keep track on how I am progressing. I can use this to write down how I feel and all.

 

So today is day 22 of NC. I finally cut the grass!! I haven't cut it since the break up. I'm going to start exercising and dieting to lose weight. I've always wanted to lose weight but my ex was fine with me being a little big, but now she's gone. I'm 20, 5'7 and 240lbs so yea I need to lose some pounds.

 

 

Ye man! How is it going now with the exercise progress? This is positive!

[Leandro]

Ye man! How is it going now with the exercise progress? This is positive!

I'm 230 now, but I'm gaining some nice muscles.

[havehope]

I really enjoy reading your log - and how you're sticking through NC. Gives encouragement to people like me! Keep it up, you're doing great

[Leandro]

I really enjoy reading your log - and how you're sticking through NC. Gives encouragement to people like me! Keep it up, you're doing great

Well thank you. I will keep it up.

[havehope]

I have to break NC sometime in the next month or so to tell him we can't talk anymore (sounds dumb, but if you read my thread on it, it makes alot more sense, because we're on friendly speaking terms now but I can't do it anymore and I don't want to ignore him out of the blue bc i'm not cowardly like that. I think its better to do it before I get too deep into NC) but your log makes me want to keep a NC notebook of my own by my bed, where I write down how i'm feeling that day, and what I did to actively participate in my healing process. Then, like you, I can physically look back and see the progress. Hopfully it helps!

[Leandro]

I have to break NC sometime in the next month or so to tell him we can't talk anymore (sounds dumb, but if you read my thread on it, it makes alot more sense, because we're on friendly speaking terms now but I can't do it anymore and I don't want to ignore him out of the blue bc i'm not cowardly like that. I think its better to do it before I get too deep into NC) but your log makes me want to keep a NC notebook of my own by my bed, where I write down how i'm feeling that day, and what I did to actively participate in my healing process. Then, like you, I can physically look back and see the progress. Hopfully it helps!

Well that's good that you will tell him you can't talk anymore rather than ignoring him. The NC notebook is a good idea. In a few months you will look through it and see the progress you made.

[havehope]

yeah I had help with that one from LS people. But anyways - this is about you and stay strong! You're helping not only yourself... but people like me too

[Leandro]

yeah I had help with that one from LS people. But anyways - this is about you and stay strong! You're helping not only yourself... but people like me too

Well I like helping people. It's helping me healing faster.

[mogul]

Well I like helping people. It's helping me healing faster.

 

Hey, you'll be fine... I'm doing a lot better after our talk a few nights ago.

Thanks!

[Leandro]

Hey, you'll be fine... I'm doing a lot better after our talk a few nights ago.

Thanks!

NP. We all have those days.

[Leandro]

ok well im here at the game. i saw her aunt but she didnt see me. i really hope i dont see her.

[Leandro]

the band just started heading over here. my heart rate went up like crazy!!

[Leandro]

ok the game went fine. I didn't see her or him, but I also left early.

 

My mom said she saw a friend of my who is in the navy right now. He's visiting right now. He asked where I was and my mom said I was home ( I was actually running a errand). He asked why and she kinda gave hints that it was because of the break up, but he couldn't understand why it would stop me from being there.

 

You see, his gf is my ex's cousin. That's how I met my ex. I'm guess his gf told him the same lie that my ex told me, and that he doesn't know she left me for another guy.

 

We just started texting again. He asked what I was up to. I just said I was working out and going to school. He's whipped so I know he will tell his gf who will tell my ex.

 

what if he asks me if I miss my ex? How would I reply to that without sounding all desperate or that I'm still in pain.?

[Leandro]

Ok last night I had a very weird dream, but it gave me the closure I needed.

 

So it starts off by me going to the band hall and hanging with some friends. I was worried because I knew my ex and him would be there, but she wasn't, just him.

 

We went up stairs for something and I met a very nice and sexy girl there. The other guy was across from me staring at me and her. Me and her were getting along so well. I really liked her and I knew she was very interested in me, but the only problem was that she was 35 and I'm 20. It would be weird to have a gf 5 years younger than my mom, but we decided to date.

 

I then looked at the guy and we kinda had a conversation:

 

Me: "you better take care of ______."

Him: "Oh (like he was shocked that I knew)."

Me: "You think I didn't know it was you?"

Him: "ahh"

Me: "you and ____think I'm dumb?"

Me: "I knew all along it was for you."

 

After this I got up and left with the girl. We drove to some arcade in the woods.

 

I met him there again.

 

I'm not sure what lead up to the conversation, but this is what was said:

 

Me: "how much do you know about her?"

Him: "a lot"

 

I asked him a few questions about some of her favorite things and he got a few wrong.

 

Me: "How long was she talking to you before she left me?"

Him: "25 days"

 

This would make since because before she left me we had 3 weeks (21 days) where we couldn't see each other during that time. He also told me about some of there dates.

 

So me and my girl continued to play some games and then we decided to leave. I looked at him and told him.

 

Me: "Its going to happen to you"

Him:"No its not (he was all mad and stuff)"

Me: "your going to a college that is 8 hours away and so is she"

Him: "but we can still talk everyday"

Me: "I talked everyday, but it still happen"

Him: " well she is nice, sweet, smart and beautiful. She wouldn't do that to me."

Me: "that's exactly what I thought too :)"

 

 

He was so mad. Right before I left with my hot, older girl, I said "It's going to happen, sorry" and then I walked away.

 

Had a short conversation with my girl, then woke up.

 

 

Now remember this was all a dream, but I'm going to remember what was said in it.

[havehope]

crazy dream - hopefully it helps you, like you said, get a little sense of closure. I have crazy dreams too - some good, some not very good. Just try not to dwell on them. Keep posting!

[Leandro]

Well I'm not having any problems with the ex right now, but it is still affecting me. I feel like crap since she left me for a taller, younger guy, it really hurts. I'm stronger than him, smart than him, better looking than him, but not taller. I can get smarter and stronger, but there is nothing I can do about my height, except for losing weight to appear taller.

 

I know she didn't leave me just because he's tall, but it brings me down because i read that most women want a tall, strong man. I'm not tall, just 5'7. I don't see why women don't like short guys. Mighty Mouse!!

 

AHHHH!!!!

Edited November 13, 2010 by Leandro

[Leandro]

well today makes 10 weeks of NC. yayyyy

Edited November 15, 2010 by Leandro

[mogul]

Congrats man..

[Leandro]

Well this morning was kinda fun. I was play Call of Duty:Black Ops and I was playing on Ground Wars.

 

I was running around the field and got shot. When I saw the web cam I recognized the killer's gamer tag. It was my ex's brother-in-law.

 

We use to be friends online, but after she dumped me he deleted me. He was in a party with a bunch of friend I use to play with.

 

Once I found out it was him, I kicked my game up a bit. I destroyed him and his friends..

 

I know he knew it was me, I was the top of every game we played and I killed him the most. Plus, my gamer tag is very rare.

 

After kicking his *** for a couple of games the connection messed up and i was kicked from the lobby.

 

It felt good kicking his ***, he was pretty immature for removing me from online when I treated my ex very well and didn't leave her for another person like she did.

[Leandro]

Well yesterday went pretty well. I blew my diet out of the water . Everyone said I looked thinner and that I need to eat more, lol. Nothing from the ex of course, just like the rest of us. I had a scary nightmare last night about her and it will eventually become true .

 

I signed up for Kick Boxing next semester, I would like to be able to defend myself. I also think it will be a good stress reliever and a great way to meet girls .

[Leandro]

Alrighty, today makes 3 months of NC. Didn't think I would get this far, but here I am.