casper Posted February 26, 2004 Share Posted February 26, 2004 Hi everyone, I just wanted to thank you for your comments after having read my initial post. I did take heed to the advice and for the past couple of weeks I have been up nite after nite doing alot of research on the subject of infidelity and anything else I could find closely related to the subject. I've also done alot of soul searching and in the process I learned alot about myself and why I allowed this happen and how to avoid it from happening again. I could write a book on my life and tell everyone a very sad tale but then couldn't we all. Whoever said I sounded needy. Your absolutely right. I found that I have a need to please others rather than pleasing myself. That is what boosts my self esteem and it's wrong to do it for that reason. All this time I thought I was such a strong person and could survive anything because I had survived my past. I found that I am not strong, I did not survive and I'm still being the victim. This, I have to work extra hard to change. Today I feel very good about myself. I want to change, I want to be a strong woman and I want to understand. As for him, well I truly feel sorry for him now. Confessing (if he did) to an affair out of guilt is the wrong reason to confess. If you don't search with your spouse for the reason it happend in the first place then you don't really want things to get better. It will happen again and again and again. I haven't gone back to work yet, I'm still recuperating at home so I still have to deal with the fact that eventually I'm going to have to face him again. What I've decided to do provided that he continues to pursue me at work is that I'm going to nonchalantly pick up the phone and call his wife. I'm not going to tell her anything, I'm just going to ask her to hold for a minute then put him on to speak with her. I think this way he'll get the message that though he may be getting off easy for right now, he'll have me hanging over his head for the rest of his life. Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted February 26, 2004 Share Posted February 26, 2004 TOOO FUNNY! I think I would first tell him how serious I am about ceasing contact. THEN, if he didn't respect it, I would let the 'dial up wars' begin!!! I'm glad you are taking the time to come to grips with the fact.....most affairs are NOT HEALTHY. Once your heart is involved, you've got a problem. The earlier you decide to 'let it go'....the better! GOOD LUCK Casper....and thanks for sharing your resolve. Link to post Share on other sites
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