Will this NC backfire?

[Crazy4what]

Hello, been married for 8 yrs. Till 5 months ago my wife left me. She had an affair and moved closer to her new BF that moved under the radar and fulfilled her attention.

 

anyways. my wife supported me in many ways before her affair happened. I dont blamed her. I had an affair also in our early marriage and she accepted that. Ive been an complete assss to her. and she accepted it and hoping that ill change.

 

But when she left 5 months ago. We were still texting, calling each other every single day. exchanging "i love u's" and ive been also visiting her once a month and making love.

 

Now shes back here with me.... for 1 month now. and we are making love almost everyday. lol wtf... but she told me that... she feels like im her best friend (1st day she came back with me) then last week she told me that she loved me and im the only person that she dont wanna lose in her life.

 

Also she said once she satisfy her " Alone Time " she wants me to move in with her ( state where she run away from me)

 

I love her so much, she stayed for me for 8 years. and I know its my fault she did this. ( im her first man also) im 28 shes 30.

 

and now she is planning to leave me again coz she said she still dont feel the "In Love" part.. Im still paying for her Cellphone, Car insurance, Health benefits, Credit Cards, Food, Luxury items etc.

 

Now I have all this financial asset coz of her also... shes the one who paid for my schooling.

 

I feel obligated at the same time I know how and what she did for me. She fought for me long time ago.

 

So Im trying to fight for her also. She deserves better and I know how to give that to her. I just got off track bcoz I got so comfortable with her.

 

What you guys think?

 

Does she still have feelings for me or I just need to give her more of her " Alone Time"?

 

Or once she leaves.... Ill do the No Contact.... I dont want that to backfire... it will devastate me.

Edited September 29, 2010 by Crazy4what

[tornandmarried]

dont do NC to try to pull a jedi mind trick and win her back...NC is for you, to help u get on with your life....be carefull with her talking to u everyday saying i love yous and stuff, she wants cake and a fork to eat it...holding on to security.....if u treated her badly, face it, its probably over....it might be fixable, just dont be her doormat or back up plan while shes having this affiar, she maybe even divorce you in a few years when she decides to remarry......dont always blame your self tho...that will drive u more crazy...she had a conscious choice to cheat and leave.....you cheated but did u leave? thats the difference.....stay strong and try to move on with your life

[TaraMaiden]

No Contact will backfire in two ways:

 

One if you keep breaking it, or respond to her breaking it....

Two, if you implement it with the intention of getting her back.

 

THAT'S NOT WHAT IT'S FOR!!

 

Read my caliguy link and learn more.

And Caliguy worked in the same office building as his ex. If he can do it, so can you!

[Don Ho]

I love her so much, she stayed for me for 8 years. and I know its my fault she did this. ( im her first man also) im 28 shes 30.

 

and now she is planning to leave me again coz she said she still dont feel the "In Love" part.. Im still paying for her Cellphone, Car insurance, Health benefits, Credit Cards, Food, Luxury items etc.

 

NC is for you to move on, not try to get her back. I think this situation is over. You both cheated. She rebounded with you. Bro, don't be a fool. I would stop paying for everything right now. Of course she doesn't feel "in love" with you, because you're too sprung on her and a wuss. Be a man. Cut your losses.

[The-Zen-Warrior]

Well this is a first, someone wanting to use the "no contact" rule to try and win back someone!?! Crazy4what don't fool yourself into thinking that this tactic of "no contact" will work out in your favor, if implemented.

 

No contact is just for you, you alone, it's not meant for your friends, family members, employers, co-workers, acquaintances............no one other than you!

 

It is a way to keep you safe from enduring any more harm, that sometimes can come from a break up, primarily marriage. I tend to agree with tornandmarried & TaraMaiden & Don Ho, in their won words they basically are telling you the same thing, it won't work!

 

If you try this, and it does indeed "backfire" on you, which it will, you and you alone will spell your own interrelational doom!