Teen and cell phones...

[hotgurl]

When they are little you make the rules, as they get older you give them less rules but model the behavior you want them to have.

 

My daughter was not allowed to watch TV when she was little. I was a single mom, worked all the time , and didnt want our time together to be spent in front of a TV.

 

As she grew and our lives changed, I let her watch TV ..which she did only when a friend was over. I watch it maybe once a month. She is 14 now and finds 99% of television "asinine" and never turns it on. Ever.

And yes, she often does not know what her friends are talking about when it comes to celebrities, etc. And she doesnt care.

 

yes my daughter is the smae way. We don't have TV we rent netflix. We get regular TV programs and documentaries but TV is limited. We all find most shows stupid. Plus I can't stand hte commercials.

 

She complains about some firends jsut watching TV all the time and how it is always on in the background etc...

[turnera]

My DD20 complains that she can't get her friends to talk on the phone. They will only contact her via texting or Facebook.

[KikiW]

Do you think moving 1,200 miles away from your kid for a woman is being a good father? I don't blame his ex.

 

Wow. So... showing your child that being depressed, working at a dead end job in a small town, where there are no higher education opportunities, et al is preferable to showing your kid that life is change, change can be a good thing, and there is a huge world to be a part of out there?

 

Yes, I think that makes him a horrible father.

[KikiW]

Not that this is the point of this thread, but Dr. Who is AWESOME. I watch it with my little sister too

 

 

We haven't seen too many of the old ones yet though just starting from the 9th Doctor.

 

I would love to get a personalized photo of David Tennant

 

 

Write him! We got a response in under 3 months, and that was mailing the SASE overseas

[greengoddess]

Wow. So... showing your child that being depressed, working at a dead end job in a small town, where there are no higher education opportunities, et al is preferable to showing your kid that life is change, change can be a good thing, and there is a huge world to be a part of out there?

 

Yes, I think that makes him a horrible father.

 

what it makes him is an absentee father he chats on the phone with his kid and sees her rarely. A huge world he is a part of without her. Her self esteem probably took a huge hit when he moved away for you. How do you think your own daughter would react if your ex moved 1,200 miles away? Would you be happy if he did? Why do you hate this girls mom so much? Why are you so concerned with her that you are even trying to portray her as abusive? Not only is he a very long distance father who is not there for the day to day but he has you in there fighting his battles and you should keep your opinion out of it.

[Stung]

And at that time, you can go one of two ways with a teenager. You can say 'Too bad, I'm the parent' and she'll probably start rebelling or sneaking to her friend's house to watch what you won't let her, or lying to you about what she does, so she'll fit in. It is during these years that friends' and society's influence starts to overshadow parents' influence, part of the natural process.

 

Or you can say 'Here's why I chose that way...' and explain it so she'll understand. Or maybe even use it as a teaching moment, and let her negotiate for what she wants.

 

 

Well, first, I am not dealing with a teenager, I am dealing with a ten year old. And second, what is it that makes you think I would not explain to her why we choose to do things the way we do them? Not trying to pick at you, just wondering. I'm not a drill sergeant; we're avid communicators, and her eyes are open as to how this family works and what our values are. Neither are we going to be shocked out of our socks at some rebellion as she grows up, she'll definitely come by it honestly with her gene pool .

 

Anyway, I can happily say she has never once asked to watch Hannah Montana. If she did ask, she would probably be disappointed, but it's not something she's interested in. We tend to eschew a lot of popular culture and try to model independent thinking and so far those are her tendencies as well. Honestly it's probably a lot easier in the area we live in, Hannah Montana-style stuff is not hugely popular here. She did like to watch the Wizards of Waverly Place and we allowed that occasionally for a while but honestly it was crap television, poorly written, poorly acted, predictable, princessy. I showed her one episode of Dr. Who and she clamors for that now every time she gets a TV hour, of her own volition. When the baby is up and toddling around absorbing everything like a sponge, then she is allowed to watch either A) Sesame Street and Blue's Clues or B) an educational special about something like the life cycle of birds or the history of Egypt. Usually she chooses the educational special, or she reads in her room or plays with the baby instead.

 

I guess the bottom line is, if the biggest complaint she ever has is that she never got to see Hannah Montana I will feel like we did a damn good job .

 

I agree with the poster who said regular TV is old school, also. We have a flatscreen but we only use it for DVDs, Wii, and streaming Netflix through our Wii. A lot of TV is really junk culture IMO and I'm perfectly comfortable with severely limiting my kids' regular contact with it. She watches regular TV sometimes at her friends' or grandparents' and she comes home annoyed by all the commercials and the flashing/scrolling messages they put across the bottom of the screen these days, and it does my shrivelled old heart good.

[turnera]

I think I said some day you'll find yourself dealing with these issues, when she does get older. I just got the sense from the way you wrote that you have a neatly planned existence and expect her to not only adhere to it but to embrace it. At 10, she is very likely to. But at 14 or 16, a family's planned lifestyle can become very stifling. I was merely pointing out the issues you may face so you are prepared for the days when she doesn't want to be seen walking with her parents.

 

fwiw, I raised my daughter like you say you intend to and I'm still her best friend, but I've seen plenty of her friends end up in totally bad places because their parents chose the lifestyle they expected their kids to follow, and then clamped down when the kids chafed and wanted other experiences. I wasn't criticizing you, just commenting about what may occur in the future.