read

[joseyposie1]

I had a 7 yrs relationship that didn't work out and I left my exbf. His brother got mad at me that I left his brother and now is mad at me that I hurt the family leaving my exbf but he doesn't know that his brother was abusive. Well after 5 years of leaving the exbf, I answered a online dating with a good looking asian man. I found out that his friend is my exbf brother who hates me for leaving his brother. Well he and I hit it off as friends since I live 4hrs away in another town in tx and he didn't tell my exbf brother that he was being my friend. Well we had sex 2 x 3.5 yrs ago when he was single and kept long distant friends for 5 yrs now and emailed weekly to each other. 2.5 yrs ago he met his old friend and married her and we kept emailing each other saying hi. Well this year we started talking more like romantically and he said sweet things like : we go on a cruise together and all since his marriage is not going well (he felt at 35 that he married to early and didn't finish getting his stuff done like being financially ready for marriage and she got sick and dependant on him and he likes a independent woman and she is totally being dependent on him for everything now since she is sick ) so a few weeks ago he found out his dad has cancer and is dying. I emailed him every day saying that I am concerned for his well being and he was so upset that his dad is dying. Well I came up to visit him and go to a concert and I just wanted to visit him and go out and spend time with each other like he said and suddenly we started kissing and having oral sex. since his dad is dying and his wife is ill and he has to take her to dr. he is taking off at wk alot. He plays pool tues /thurs nites too. I feel insecure that on his FB he has alot of sexy women on there and I feel since I am fat he is just talking to me for what reason I don't know cause he could have anyone of those sexy women in his bed too. So when i went home he didn't email with all stuff like I miss you and all he emails me now is Hi beautiful how are u doing? I got a an email him stating that he can't email me much or talking much since his personal and work is so busy now and getting his dad ready for his death(funeral home, probate ) Is he blowing me off and not being my friend anymore or am I just in a panic and attached to him since I have had sex in the past and like him more than a friend? What would u recommend? I am so caring and worry about him but I think he is just playing around and keeping me on the side?

[Fieldsofgold]

I am so caring and worry about him but I think he is just playing around and keeping me on the side?

 

What I think is this: this man is a HUGE jerk. First, he's married and cheating on his wife. Second, he RESENTS his wife bcos she got sick ??? Excuse me, but (getting sick) that's not exactly something people do on purpose. Her illness is probably made worse by realizing what a total creep she's married to.

 

If you are a caring person, please care enough about yourself and his sick wife to leave him alone.

 

And yes, he is playing you, blowing you off, jerking you around, using you, and disrespecting you.

 

You've been in abusive relationships. People who have, tend to have issues that make them repeat that pattern.

 

Counselling would probably help your self-esteem, boundary-setting skills, and help you learn to have a healthy, non-abusive relationship.