leftfordead2 Posted October 1, 2010 Share Posted October 1, 2010 Don't think you can trust someone who treated you like that. If you took her back you'd be suspicious and on edge the whole time. Don't even think about it! Be glad you found out what she was like before you got engaged. Sure it must hurt but if you got back with her it wouldn't be the same as it was when you thought you could trust her. This is good advice. You'll be suspicious about her actions even if you take her back and it will drive you crazy one of these days. The only good thing is that you found out about this before you guys got engaged. I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Think about this: if you are the best thing that happened to her, why is she sleeping and getting affection from another man, who happens to be your best friend? I applaud you for not hitting her in spite of your anger. Link to post Share on other sites
TigerCub Posted October 1, 2010 Share Posted October 1, 2010 In her tearful messages she keeps saying how she misses me, that it was a terrible mistake and wants me back. What I never got from her was the ''why'' answer but don't think it matters no more. Yes Owned, the Why doesn't really matter. Could there be any good reason she could give you that would make it ok? No! And if you do talk to her, don't ask her why, because she'll probably give you some BS excuse that somehow makes you the bad guy that pushed her into your buddy's arms. Did you tell her that you were going to propose to her? I hope you did, I hope that you completely ignore her and let her realize what she missed out on. I agree with the rest that say, if you take her back, chances are big that she would do it to you again. I'm really sorry that you're so hurt, but at least this happened BEFORE you gave her the ring and made her your wife. You'll find someone way better than her, don't let her begging influence your decision. Link to post Share on other sites
livbylove22 Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 Do not take her back. She's sorry she got caught not sorry she did it. Just think about all the girls youknow he's slept with. Now she's one of those girls. Do you really want her back after he banged her?? Link to post Share on other sites
TheLoveAdvisor Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 A good pounding was a great thing, although you could have killed him or ended up in jail, and possibly sued.... You may have had more justification if you caught them in bed, but you premeditated the meeting which doesn't look good to the Jury or the Court system. Did you prove yourself?? Of course you did, was you justified?? In some areas maybe, but you did what you had to do.... In any case, they both went behind your back...They say lovers are temporary, but friends are for life, in this case your friend proved to be against you.... One of my best friends from the past I met up with on FB did the same thing to me.. He tried to steal my wife away while acting like he was my friend... Now days, you have to watch every thing, cause people have become narcissist, they don't care about anybody.. I say, if you chose to take her back, she must give you all her passwords, cell phone, put GPS on her phone with her knowledge. Nothing should be deleted, erased.. No text to males, you should be able to read her text before she sends them out if it is a guy....Unless he's gay.... She did the wrong, begs to come back, use this time to add boundaries, analyze why she cheated, look into yourself and find the weak spots you may need to improve... You will never be able to trust your friend again, she must lose complete contact with him forever... Start communicating, get books on relationships, her needs his needs, read, listen, self improve, but don't expect miracles... If she doesn't agree, move on.... Link to post Share on other sites
guinnessdraft Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 It doesn't really surprise me that she went for your buddy. You and your buddy are probably pretty similar. You probably like the same girls and have similar interests--that's why you're buddies. My buddies and I always used to like the same girl. It's completely against the buddy code to go after your friend's girl though. Leave them both. Link to post Share on other sites
Surrealist Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 What a horrible development. As above, if you've since considered, certainly don't go back. If it happens at this stage of the relationship, it will certainly in a marriage when the grind of life takes its toll, or mundane sets in, or the five year itch or similar challanges that face most marriages - lets not deny these things can and do happen, and the precedent has already been set with this relationship. Hold strong and I hope you find someone who is much more deserving of your commitments. Cheers. Link to post Share on other sites
utterer of lies Posted October 20, 2010 Share Posted October 20, 2010 I would wish to have an answer as to why my now ex fiancee cheated on me with my best friend out of so many men? Oh, she probably cheated on you with other men, too. Link to post Share on other sites
zerovandez Posted October 20, 2010 Share Posted October 20, 2010 Let it all go. Things will NEVER be the same or the way you imagined them to be down the road. Start a new and improved life now. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Owned Posted October 21, 2010 Author Share Posted October 21, 2010 Thank you for all your support. Though I'm still devastated it's good news to finding out this before proposing to her in Christmas. I really wanted to make her my wife but after this, I never even want to see her face again. If that's not enough she has been with another man too and now my ex friend is the one apologizing (asking if we can be friends again and how sorry he is) It turns out she dumped him for an older married man. I might probably forgive sometime but it'll never be the same again. I just want to be alone now and not deal with him for the meantime. This has been too much of a blow, the worst one ever. Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted October 28, 2010 Share Posted October 28, 2010 Best to dump her. One thing after many years of marriage and the shine has worn off and she was to betray you. But she cheated at the beginning of the relationship when her feelings for you were supose to be at the strongest. Also that ex friend needs to be dead to you forever. Link to post Share on other sites
reservoirdog1 Posted October 28, 2010 Share Posted October 28, 2010 (edited) Thank you for all your support. Though I'm still devastated it's good news to finding out this before proposing to her in Christmas. I really wanted to make her my wife but after this, I never even want to see her face again. If that's not enough she has been with another man too and now my ex friend is the one apologizing (asking if we can be friends again and how sorry he is) It turns out she dumped him for an older married man. I might probably forgive sometime but it'll never be the same again. I just want to be alone now and not deal with him for the meantime. This has been too much of a blow, the worst one ever. The relevant question, in my view, is this: Would he have come back and apologized and asked to be your friend again if he was still banging her? I'm guessing not. He traded his long-time friendship with you for an opportunity to get in your then-GF's pants. Now suddenly he doesn't have that either. No wonder he came crawling back to you. You lost a betraying GF and a betraying best friend. Painful yes, but ultimately, the fewer toxic people in your life, the better. He, on the other hand, lost a piece of ass and his best friend. And the latter, he WILLINGLY gave away. That definitely sucks for him; he now realizes it, and is understandably not happy about it. His problem, though... you reap what you sow in this world. He's a cockroach, if you ask me. Edited October 28, 2010 by reservoirdog1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts