Girls, Do you think I'm too Nice of a Guy, do I send the wrong signals?

[OnlyEverything]

Just a simple question.....

 

 

I'm a 27 year old guy, not ugly, in shape, easy going, no hang-ups. I've always been a gentleman when it comes to women,

have had one long term relationship and a few month ones in my life. every one ended on good terms...

I was always a great caring boyfriend, honest, loving, romantic.

 

My Question is: I'm a really giving guy as well. I like to help people out and do nice, fun things for people I

like and Care about. There is a girl I know, she's been a friend of mine for about a year or so.... I like to buy her

things and give her things I know she's interested in, like Cds or cool antiques or just things like that.

I've always been that way, i don't ever expect anything in return from my friends. I ask her out to dinner a lot lately because I just got out of a 3 year relationship and just feel like hanging with friends and her in particular

because I think she's funny and interesting and cool. I don't know necessarily that I would want to start anything with her

romance-wise, Yet I wonder sometimes if my generosity could be seen as me taking in interest in her, In her eyes. She seems

to call me a lot more now and want to hang out a lot more now ever since she found out I'm single. She'll make a lot of comments like "we need to do this" or "we need to go here together"...It's all friendly and nice, But do you think me giving too much can be seen as me trying to flirt with her? It wouldn't be a horrible thing, I just wonder if I'm too nice and Maybe I should back off.

 

Thanks

[moimeme]

If a male-type person were to buy me things and take me out often I'd certainly think he was wooing me since that's the behaviour we are supposed to expect from a suitor. If you honestly only want her as a friend, you need to be very clear about that. Say so in so many words.

[ThisGirlNameKD]

Be straight with her right at the beginning and let her know the type of person you are. You're very giving and caring to all of your friends and you don't want that to be misconstrue as something else.

[OnlyEverything]

Yeah, you're right. I do like her a lot, She's a really cool girl, fun, attractive, interesting....

I just never thought of her in that way and now i feel like she's taking more of a liking to me.

I guess I wouldn't completely rule out dating her, so I'm not worried about it....But I was just curious of what Women thought

of a guy who's like me, I wondered if Maybe i shouldn't be so giving, it could give the wrong

impression.

 

I mean just recently Valentines day passed and I almost bought her a big box of chocolates because

she says she never gets anything romantic, But i didn't because I didn't want to confuse her, if she doesn't

see me that way. But I was just going to do it as a "Every great woman deserves something on Valentines Day".

 

Anyway, Thanks for your advice.

[Tony T]

You seem to be quite confused. Your post above doesn't match up well with the two prior responses. This indicates to me that either you are on a major rebound trail, feeling empty and wanting to grasp onto something or you really like this girl, want more, and are either trying to kid yourself or BS us. If it's a rebound thing, just proceed with caution. Sounds like you may need time to heal from your last relationship.

 

I would also caution you that if in the future you're dating someone, don't be buying female friends a lot of stuff. Women who are interested in somebody romantically tend not to care so much for a guy who is that nice to "other" women.

[longlegzs80]

Your friend has to realize that you just got out of a relationship and that you need time with your friends. Sure she is your friend, but I think with you spoiling her by getting her little things she likes kinda would make her probubly think that you are interested in her. That is if she don't know that you are only buying her stuff because you are generally a nice guy, then you need to tell her that you enjoy buying her stuff but it is only because you both are really good friends.

 

You need to stop buying her stuff. She could be getting the wrong impression from you and with you just getting out of a relationship she probubly and with the way it sounds she wants to hook her claws into you. Give it to her straight and be upfront with her.

 

No women wants to be lead on, and with you giving gifts as much as it is in your nature to do nice things, she is thinking your interested.

[OnlyEverything]

Don't worry Tony, There's no BS here. The post title asks "Girls", are you a Girl??? no just kidding.

 

 

When I say "Just got out of a 3 year Relationship", it's actually been 4 months. I'm not looking to

start up another heavy realtionship. I just like hanging out with her because I think she's fun.

We like a lot of the same things. I don't see it as a rebound. All I was asking is, Do women think

it's unappropriate or Nice for me to do things like that. I do it with guy friends too. I just started

noticing recently that she calls me a lot more than she ever used to and asks me out to things a lot

more.

 

I'm just a giving guy, period, Only I was asking if Women see that as flirting or taking an interest...If

so...I need to chill out on that, I wouldn't give a female a bunch of gifts if I had a girlfriend. Besides,

They're not gifts really, just fun little meaningless bobbles. Like "Hey by the way, I got you this CD cuz

I thought you might like it" or "Hey here's an antique Lamp I found at a vintage shop for your house, Thought

You might like it"....Just stuff like that.

 

Anyway, If i'm completely crazy tell me....Otherwise, I'll take your advice and tone down the Giving.

[Lil Lola]

you want to be nice but not too nice. keep her on her toes, you know?