Living with my stepfamily and going crazy!

[Life2B]

If you don't feel like reading the whole post please just read the Bold parts.

 

About 2/3 years ago my dad got a girlfriend after being divorced for more than 10 years. At first she seemed like a nice person. Especially since they've known each other for more than 20 years and her ex-husband and my dad used to be friends. She brought two kids with her (one guy, now 15yrs, and one girl, now 8yrs). I've known her son since he was about 6 and I was 10. My stepmom left her husband 4 years ago and lived about an hours drive.

 

Since then I lived in another country for one year and when I came back they were all living together. My dad's bedroom had been made into 2 small bedrooms. And now my stepmom and my dad are sleeping downstairs in the living room (their bed only being hidden by some curtains and a closet). My stepsister and my stepbrother have their own bedroom across mine. Since my stepbrother is a computer addict my dad and him are fighting all the time (my dad's actually a very emotional and caring person so he loves him even when he doesn't admit it all the time which he only does when he's had one too many drinks).

 

I'm 19 years old right now and all I can think about lately is getting a job and getting the hell out of here. My stepmom isn't a horrible person but we're like water and fire. Everything I do annoys her and vice versa. She butts into everything I do and asks me every little thing about my life. When I subtly hint her I don't want to tell her something she keeps asking. My stepbrother is very anti-social and he never does anything around the house unless you ask him (and even then it's 50/50). Even when he's like that I actually have a good relationship with him. We share the same humour (most of the times) and we can have a laugh or even serious talks. (even though he always disagrees with everything you tell him)

 

I'm always fighting with my stepmom. She says I don't do enough around the house and I'm too rude to them.

 

One example: Last week I was playing a game on the wii and my dad sked me to clean out the kitchen (I never say no to a nice request unless I have a good reason) I said: sure dad. But I was in the middle of my game and before I quit I wanted to save. Seeing as I couldn't save before I finished the level i proceeded to finish the level. I heard someone coming down the stairs and I thought it was my dad. So I shouted: sorry dad i haven't done it yet. But it wasn't my dad it was my stepmom and she didn't say anything and went to the kitchen. Without me asking her to she started clearing out the kitchen. She started calling me to help her I said I was almost done saving. When I was finally done saving the game she was half-done clearing out the washing machine. (normally the washing machine is already cleared out before lunch because then you can easily fill it with dirty dishes again). So I called out to my dad: hey dad the washing machine wasn't cleared out yet and I proceeded to clearing out the kitchen. Then all of a sudden my stepmom snapped. She started yelling at my that I shouldn't complain about the washing machine being full (seeing as how she emptied it) and how could I dare open my mouth about something like that to my dad. I said I never asked her to clear it for me and could've done it myself, that I wasn't being rude but just expressing my annoyance so I wouldn't become mad later on (keeping things in makes me sulky so I need to let it out in order to function properly). She kept going on and on about that and yelled so I started being mad and yelled that I forbade her to ever clear out the stupid washing machine again and never help me without me asking her again.

 

Anyway the point being I'm going crazy at home. I'm not the kind of person to argue and I try to avoid conflict as much as I can. My dad and I never fight. But since he and his new girlfriend are living together my dad fights with my stepbrother all the time and I fight with my stepmom all the time. I avoid being with them as much as I can but they make me part of the family in a very forceful way. As much as I just want to live my own life, it's as much as they're try to pull me in theirs. Some of the rules are like having to take care of a dog that you don't want to take care of and that's not even yours. (like dragging me along on family holidays and going swimming together every week, it's like I'm not allowed to say no to anything)

 

I told my dad that all I wanted was to get out of there as soon as possible and my dad just looks at me in a sad way and says that without me he doesn't think he could take all the fighting. And as much as I just want him to break up with her. I think he's happier with her than without her. When I move out and start my own life I don't want my dad to be left alone. I think he needs someone to be there and there's no denying the fact that they love each other very much. I've talked to my family about this (my dad's sister and her children) they agree with me about not liking my stepmom And they're all helping me search for an apartment away from home. But finding a job these days is a lot harder than it sounds (especially since I'm still a student and don't have any qualification yet..).

 

Any advice is largely appreciated.