Is My Ex-Boyfriend Coming Back To Me Or am I Dreaming?? Please PLEASE help me...

[KellyIrene]

Ok.. I just want to give you all that will help me out a recap on what mine and Rob's relationship was like. ok. we went out for just about 3 years. we were SO happy with each other! it was like everything was perfect! we were with each other every chance we had.. which in the early years of our relationship, it was harder because we didnt have ways to get around (no liscence) we went through everything through everything with each other. we both lost our virginity to each other and everything that we did..sexually, was being done for the first time ever.. well through out our whole relationship there were lil cat fights here and there, nothing too too bad. we never ever told each other that we hated each other no matter how mad we got, b/c we both thought that if we would say that, then that would mean our love for each other was gone.there were never mean names said from neither one of us. we always kept fights pretty simple, and made up in less then an hour. i dont really know what happened.. we were SO happy with each other, and this one summer, i was leaving for new jersey for vacation. 3 days (by this time, me and rob were with each other for about 2 years) i met a guy up in jersey that was real real nice to me, good looking, and something different. when i came back, something happened and i didnt feel the same way about rob no more. i didnt know what had happened, but it was eating away at me, so i broke up with him sayin that all i wanted was a break. he was very heartbroken, to tell you the truth, it was the lowest i have ever seen him. and it made me feel so bad. i didnt know what else to do. i didnt want to fool him by saying i felt the same way..when some of the feelings have left.

 

Well..i dumped him november and he tried getting back with me up untill new years eve. after that, it seemed as though he gave up. he started talkin to this girl named megan for a while ( he worked with her ) and i guess they hit it off pretty well and they began going out..well this made me SO jealous. i wanted him back so bad, and i started feeling all the feelings again, before i knew that he was happy with her. before theyre relationship hit a week (i couldnt take it, i wanted him back more then ever) i talked to him about it, and he said to me to give him time, he felt bad for dumping her right away, that he would do it in time and that we would get back together.well to me, (im impatient) 3 days felt forever, so i told him to forget it. even though i didnt want him to. but he listened to me.

 

A couple months later, i could care less that he had her. even though some days if i would sit and think about him, i would miss him, and the depression would take over me. and this went on -on and off- for about a year or so.

 

(just a little recap on the way he treated me while he was with Megan)

1. he acted as if he could NOT talk to me much, or if he did, he would NOT look at my face, he would look to the floor, ceiling, look at someone else, etc. just Not me.

2. he wouldnt want to accidently touch me AT all. (it was just something i could tell)

3. anytime i would ask to hang out, like innocently, he would say he didnt know about it, which would really mean no.

4.he wouldnt start a convo with me, i would have to with him and his answers to what i said to him would be nothing more then 5 words long.

 

Ok..so with that said, ill let you know whats been happening recently:

 

ok..one of his best friends, was talking to me one day, and out of no where says that Rob and Megan have been fighting alot lately (when they first started going out, he said he could never fight with her..) now i talk to megan and we're pretty good friends, but has often told me that she feels weird talkin to me in the first place, because i am an ex... well.. after a couple days that Rob's best friend told me that they were fighting pretty harshly, my best friend talk to Megan. megan started out by askin my best friend, Nealy, what mine and robs relationship was like. Nealy told her the truth. told her that it was great. nothin ever seemed wrong and that the relationship ended, and no body not even him expected it. she told nealy that all rob ever does is yell at her, and that he told her that he hated her and how she was. (note: HE NEVER EVER WOULD DARE TO SAY HE HATED ME EVEN IF HE DID!) and she told nealy that rob always tells her to break up with him but megan wont do it. whenever megan asks him what he wants, he gets mad at her (Note: THIS IS ANOTHER THING HE WOULD NEVER GET MAD AT, IF I ASKED WHAT HE WANTED, HE WOULD TELL ME RIGHT AWAY) she told nealy that all he does is call her very very rude names, names he would never even think callin me. kind of names, that i dont even think are appropriate to relay.she told nealy to keep it from me, b/c she didnt want to hear me tell her i told her so.

 

Now.. Rob's been coming around. Around that time that him and Megan were fighting, he came around like the old times. everyone misses him alot, but not as much as i do. he came to school to hang out with us one afternoon,whenever we left, i asked him for a hug (he would always turn me down when i asked before) and this time he said i dont give hugs, but ill give you one, looked into MY EYES(another thing he stopped doing) and hugged me, rubbed my back, and my sister said as he was hugging me his eyes were kinda closed and he was smiling, when we both pulled away, we both somehow grabbed ahold of each others wrists, and smiled and said our goodbyes.but its like i cant even talk to him no more. its been too long and i cant act myself. i concider myself a VERY VERY talkitive girl, and not to be able to talk to Robert, is like...insane for me. i could always talk to him, and now i feel so shy, im never ever shy with no one. well. then one other night me and a bunch of my girlfriends asked him to hang out, it was about 7 or 8 of us. he agreed to. then it turned out to be just me and another girlfriend and him at her house watchin movies. i hardly talked the whole time. we sat beside each other on the couch and he was POKING or GENTLY TAPPING my back (remember how i said he wouldnt accidently touch me back then, well now its changing) all that made me go insane, i didnt know what to think. after that night, we both left the same time, he walked to his car, i walked to mine. he ASKED ME FOR A HUG!!!! and he told me "it was nice seeing you tonight." he said it 3 times before i said anything, and the reason i didnt say anything the first time, is because i was speachless...he hasnt said a positive thing like that to me in a lil over a year. and as he drove away, i saw him looking at me.

 

well that excited me, i talked to megan, didnt tell her about rob n me, she knew. and she was mad because she told me that he had lied to her, he told her that i was only at the house hanging out for 20 min and then i left. i was there with him from 11 pm to 2 am. and we arrived the same time and left the same time. that night we were hanging out, she called him 2 times, he would look at his phone when it vibrated (3 times that i remeber him checking) and he would put it back into his pocket, to me i thought he was screaning his calls. she called nealy asking where he was. Nealy told rob that Megan was looking for her that day and it made him really mad.

 

megan just recently told me she doesnt know how to compare to what me and rob had, and how to compare to ME. she told me that she often thinks if he thinks about me, and that if he had a chance to get back with me, if he would, and leave her out in the cold. shes scared that he still thinks about me, b/c what we had was so great. better then anything. ..

 

Im so sorry its so long, i just wanted to get all the information in...

 

i want to know what i should do, to try and get him back with me?

what kind of signs should i look for?

Does he still care/love me? i dont know...

 

 

any other comments on this...please inform me..im going crazy

 

Thank you ALL SO much!

 

 

-KellyIrene

[ThisGirlNameKD]

What's interesting about your post is that you gave us no reason at all for why you want this guy back, other than that he was with now with Megan, and all of a sudden, you want him back. It hurt you to know that at some point in their relationship, things were going good with him and Megan. To be honest with you, I don't think you want him back, but that you don't want him with anyone else. You want to be number one in his book, and be considered sooo good that no one else compares to you (yeah I'm sure you felt good when Megan told you that she doesn't compare to you), but you dumped him he didn't mean all that to you.

 

This guy had been trying to get back with you for sometime, and it wasn't until after he hooked up with Megan that you wanted him back. Why didn't you get back with him all those other times he wanted to before he hooked up with Megan? And what if another good looking guy comes along...someone "different". How would Rob know that you won't be tempted to get with that guy? I think you needed to be truly honest with yourself as to why you want Rob back. If you don't plan on being faithful and loyal to him regardless of other good looking "different" guys, then you don't need to reconcile.

[KellyIrene]

ok i have SO many feelings about Rob, theres probably more then i can say.

 

for a reason i know, i still love him, and i know that i do, its the kind of love thats so hard to replace. ive had other guys since him, and no one compares.

he always made me feel like a princess always told me how beautiful i was and just told me things that no one has ever said to me. yeah ive had guys that have THOUGHT they were in love with me, and would tell me they were...but ive been with 2 guys since Rob, and none of them have been like him. i fight with my mom ALOT and the only person that would care, and would let me cry to, was Rob. i always knew that i had a shoulder to cry on with him. no matter what he would be there for me even when i wanted to be alone, he would be there for me. he used to say that we would get married when we were 23 years old, i know thats puppy love bull...but it meant so much to me, our first date going out was on 7-20. and i see that number EVERYWHERE i go, on mailbox's when i just happen to glance at it, on the clock, on liscence plates, a math problem.. EVERYWHERE. its just..that number meant so much to me.. my papa died recently and he was the closest person to me, and even though me and rob havent talked in a long time, he came to the funeral, and totally surprised me..i didnt know it..his thoughts were always perfect. although i didnt care about gifts from him, he always made them so creatively and you know that it was always from the heart. he would always have that special touch..no matter what, he made me feel on top of the world. i could be angry at the world and want to just kill everyone, NO one could put a smile on my face but him. i loved how pretty much everytime we would have an argument, we would end up doing something really stupid, and our fight would end in laughter, and not many relationships had that..

 

i was ALWAYS faithful and loyal to Rob...the guy in jersey was a friend of my cousin...just kind of told me alot of things, like theres alot of fish in the sea. but i knew that...and his words just stuck in my head, and that was the reason i started thinkin maybe i should look around, if it was meant to be. ill go back to him, and hell come back to me, cuz we always loved each other and we would go back... this time its harder but theres a little voice inside of me that says that once him and megan are over, he will come back to me. all my friends say he will, his family says so...so i dont know what to think. theres always times that im down and wanting him back, and this time, im down and i want him back more then ever before...

 

its not only because he has a gf. i like his gf. and im real good friends with her, i give her advice on how to help out their relationship all the time.she comes to me with some probs cuz she knows that i know him SO well.. so its not just because he has a girl that i want him back...

 

i didnt get back with him when he was trying, because i felt like something was still missing, that something had vanished. and i was waiting untill that feeling to come back before i would get back with him...and i was SO confused at the time. my papa was diagnosed with Cancer..my mom and i faught all the time, my grades were slipping..i was So stressed out...

 

but...thanks for your concern in replying back to me..

[Arabess]

I think you should tell him how you feel....then step back....and let him make the decision of whether he wants to try having a relationship with you again or stay with Meagan.

 

It's not a matter of comparing you to her or the relationship you had with Rob to the relationship he is currently in.

 

It's a matter of if he still feels about you like he did when you guys were together.

[sami]

Do you want him back because you love him or because he left you to somebody else?

[KellyIrene]

yeah i tried tellin him that i had feelings for him before when he was with megan, and i think that it just scares him away. i dont want nothing to do with making him feel weird with hanging out with me, everytime we would start "talking" again, it would happen naturally... i dont know if telling him will be too good....

 

And.. No he didnt leave ME, i left him..and i was going to get back with him before he was actually WITH her... but he felt bad letting her go, he didnt want to get her hopes up and then leave her to nothing...so he was consitraiting on feelings on both sides (me and Megan)

 

But i dont know....

[sami]

If you were the one who left him why are you trying to get back to him now? Did he change in any way?.

[KellyIrene]

well..yeah hes changed..hes a lot more mature then he was when he went out with me, basically, he grew up, ya know!? i want to get back with him, cuz he was my first love, ive tried dating around, and nothin worked out, or was anything like rob was to me...he was like..my everything..anytime i needed him hed be there.. and now yeah..but everything reminds me of him, no matter what, lately, everyones been askin me about him, as if i would know..he used to be kinda mean to me, but now hes not..hes nice...and its just like the feelings were always there for him..i just sometimes put them aside, and dont think about him, but lately,...ive been thinkin about him 24/7 and..going to our old hang out spots..and just ..puttin myself down about breaking up with him.idotn know what to do..

[sami]

It seems like you are more into confusion than in love.