Found my BF's post on here. So I joined to tell my side:

[Dexter Morgan]

So he has female friends and goes out with them when youre out of town, but his skin crawls if you do it?

 

 

perhaps he only does it BECAUSE she does...thinking it is kind of getting even...or that whats good for her is good for him.

 

therefore because of his complaining, my guess is he really doesn't care to do this....just does it because whats good for the goose....

[Dexter Morgan]

You're right, I agree why the sperm comment could make anyone uncomfortable. In all honesty, it wasn't meant that way. I was making a joke in poor taste.

 

yet you saw fit to clarify that it was just the opposite of having sex "duh"

 

 

Yeah, and I also had reason to not trust him because he lied to me about a previous relationship (saying he had one, when he never had) and kept the fact that he used to have feelings for this girl (I found out when his roomate let it slip).

 

uh, that is the past. 1) why would he say he had one and never did...what is the purpose of that? if it were the other way around and he said he didn't have one and did..might be different.

 

2) he used to have feelings for a girl......I don't think i've ever told a gf all the past girls I've had crushes on:o. whats the point?

[BruceLeroy]

perhaps he only does it BECAUSE she does...thinking it is kind of getting even...or that whats good for her is good for him.

 

therefore because of his complaining, my guess is he really doesn't care to do this....just does it because whats good for the goose....

 

From what I can tell youre older than me and you still haven't figured out that vindictive crap aint going to sail a relationship? Better to break up than have all your actions be something you did only cuz someone else did this or that. It doesn't matter what someone else does. If you think its wrong, its wrong and no amount of well you did it is going to change it.

 

And dude seriously, not everyone on earth is all hung up on the platinic friend thing. If he don't like having platonic friends and she does its not that hes right and shes wrong, just they are different wave lengths. If she were dating me, she wouldn't be dealing with hassle over platonic friends. And if he was dating you, , your views would match better.

[Kinder-Horror]

From what I can tell youre older than me and you still haven't figured out that vindictive crap aint going to sail a relationship? Better to break up than have all your actions be something you did only cuz someone else did this or that. It doesn't matter what someone else does. If you think its wrong, its wrong and no amount of well you did it is going to change it.

 

And dude seriously, not everyone on earth is all hung up on the platinic friend thing. If he don't like having platonic friends and she does its not that hes right and shes wrong, just they are different wave lengths. If she were dating me, she wouldn't be dealing with hassle over platonic friends. And if he was dating you, , your views would match better.

 

I think you're the only one who can't see she exaggerates the truth to justify her actions. While she may say they are platonic friends, her conversations and lack of concern for her boyfriend's feelings speak differently. She may have every intention of only being friends with these guys, but there has obviously been some inappropriate actions, conversationally or otherwise, that lead the boyfriend to this uneasiness.

 

I've probably said this a million times - but every couple is different. And neither of them are necessarily wrong... they just aren't right for each other.

[Dexter Morgan]

From what I can tell youre older than me and you still haven't figured out that vindictive crap aint going to sail a relationship?

 

nice try at an insult.

 

by me saying it acknowledges that vindictive crap DOES go on in a relationship. Never would I do it. I'd leave the relationship first.

 

 

Better to break up than have all your actions be something you did only cuz someone else did this or that. It doesn't matter what someone else does. If you think its wrong, its wrong and no amount of well you did it is going to change it.

 

I agree. Never said that getting even is the way it should be, just offering an explanation as to why he would do it, yet complain about her doing it as well.

 

 

And dude seriously, not everyone on earth is all hung up on the platinic friend thing. If he don't like having platonic friends and she does its not that hes right and shes wrong, just they are different wave lengths. If she were dating me, she wouldn't be dealing with hassle over platonic friends.

 

and if you think any one of the guys she is with doesn't want to wax his weasel with her, you are sorely mistaken. And i hope you don't think that you are all that to be immune from what alot of people here have dealt with before and that you don't think you'll ever be cheated on.

 

dude....seriously...dude.

[BruceLeroy]

I think you're the only one who can't see she exaggerates the truth to justify her actions. While she may say they are platonic friends, her conversations and lack of concern for her boyfriend's feelings speak differently. She may have every intention of only being friends with these guys, but there has obviously been some inappropriate actions, conversationally or otherwise, that lead the boyfriend to this uneasiness.

 

I've probably said this a million times - but every couple is different. And neither of them are necessarily wrong... they just aren't right for each other.

 

And I think your one of those ones who can't read. Go back a few posts and you will see me telling her does that and that **** is nuts and she needs to quit it.

 

The one of those that I am is someone who can read a post and not take my personal **** out on a complete stranger who wasn't involved in my personal ****. And I don't care if she hiding some crap that might have cause her BF to do the same crap back. Its the same thing theyre both doing, reacting without thinking and not owning their actions.

 

Personally, I think they both should just break up, they clearly have big personality mis match going on.

[paleblue]

the thing is, you consider all these males "friends". I can tell you right now that any one of them would bed you down in a heartbeat if you let them. and THIS is why your bf has a problem with it. And knowing this if you still think its ok, then again, you shouldn't be in a relationship.

 

Agreed they would if they could, especially now knowing some of the content of these conversations. It is like a kick in the nuts.

[BruceLeroy]

and if you think any one of the guys she is with doesn't want to wax his weasel with her, you are sorely mistaken. And i hope you don't think that you are all that to be immune from what alot of people here have dealt with before and that you don't think you'll ever be cheated on.

 

dude....seriously...dude.

 

Dude I want to wax my weasle with lots of girls, but that doesn't mean they are going to be cool obliging me or that I'm going to be an ass about it and keep gunnin for it. Friends of any kind are a good thing to have and other chicks will be interested in my weasle. Say hey, maybe the new chicky friend has some cute friends who are more interested in my weasle than she is? You know, some of us don't want to shoplift the poon or be the poacher on some other dudes girl. Even if she'd sell it.

 

PS, I've been cheated on. Thats life. Keep rolling.

[Dexter Morgan]

Dude I want to wax my weasle with lots of girls, but that doesn't mean they are going to be cool obliging me or that I'm going to be an ass about it and keep gunnin for it.

 

then what you are describing isn't "just friends". thanks for proving my point.

[BruceLeroy]

then what you are describing isn't "just friends". thanks for proving my point.

 

Come on! You're walking down the street and you know none of them. They are a pair legs, a set of jigglys, a pretty smile. Whatever catches you eye. Next thing you know, youre sitting next to one of em in economics class and start talking. You wonder hmmm what she doing this friday and ask if she'd like to go see a show. Crap she gotta a man or she into chicks or whatever, but it doesn't mean she can't be enjoyable company or interesting to know with her clothes still on. The fact that I won't be seein her with her clothes off doesn't mean she is got nothing I can be interested in. She can be like your buddy. She prolly know more about which girls around are single and maybe she is into things you like.

 

Dunno, you maybe one of those guys who doesn't have a sister or something so you just don't get it?

[Andy_K]

Next thing you know, youre sitting next to one of em in economics class and start talking. You wonder hmmm what she doing this friday and ask if she'd like to go see a show.

 

Seriously man... when was the last time you found yourself sitting next to a guy you didn't know in economics class, wondered what he was doing that weekend, and asked him if he'd like to go see a show with you - just the two of you, like - on friday night? If it's not something you'd do with a guy, then doing it with a girl is far from 'just friends'

[BruceLeroy]

Seriously man... when was the last time you found yourself sitting next to a guy you didn't know in economics class, wondered what he was doing that weekend, and asked him if he'd like to go see a show with you - just the two of you, like - on friday night?

 

Three weeks ago in a different class. Now I got a new guy friend. And I've never been to a show where only two people showed up have you? What part of asking someone to go see a show means no one else can go too? Am I on a date with every chick at the show? Will I be screwing them all after the final set?

 

If it's not something you'd do with a guy, then doing it with a girl is far from 'just friends'

 

Have you never gone and done something with friends that you'd also do with someone you're dating?

 

Its like the walking down the street not knowing the chicks who catch your eye. Am I disrespecting their husbands or BFs by noticing? So yeah I notice, but with no interest from them and no interest on my end to get with someone who is taken they become a buddy. Like having a new sister. And if she gotta man, he can be a new friend too.

There just no reason to toss a fit about who your GF makes friends with except to pick a fight. If someone is going to cheat, they just will. They don't have to have platonic friends to do it. And if they are the kind to cheat, what did ya loose? And if you are at them about having guy friends, you're already thinking they are going to cheat so why stay with em?

Give it a long long rope and if they hang themself thats one less **** person in your life and you keep rolling.

Look I'm just a guy going to school in a new city. Even if I don't get a GF here, I want a social life. And having a socail life ups my odds for getting a GF.

If you dont get it you just dont get it. So you stay where youre at pissing in your boots everytime your girl goes to work, talks about movies with a guy in class, or she go anywhere without you and I'll be over here worrying about bigger **** and making friends. Have fun with that ulcer.

[Dexter Morgan]

Come on! You're walking down the street and you know none of them. They are a pair legs, a set of jigglys, a pretty smile. Whatever catches you eye. Next thing you know, youre sitting next to one of em in economics class and start talking. You wonder hmmm what she doing this friday and ask if she'd like to go see a show. Crap she gotta a man or she into chicks or whatever, but it doesn't mean she can't be enjoyable company or interesting to know with her clothes still on. The fact that I won't be seein her with her clothes off doesn't mean she is got nothing I can be interested in. She can be like your buddy. She prolly know more about which girls around are single and maybe she is into things you like.

 

Dunno, you maybe one of those guys who doesn't have a sister or something so you just don't get it?

 

no, its you that doesn't get it.

 

you proved my point. there is no such thing and "just" friends with the opposite sex. at least not the kind of "friends" you hang out with alone.

 

thanks:)

[Dexter Morgan]

Seriously man... when was the last time you found yourself sitting next to a guy you didn't know in economics class, wondered what he was doing that weekend, and asked him if he'd like to go see a show with you - just the two of you, like - on friday night? If it's not something you'd do with a guy, then doing it with a girl is far from 'just friends'

 

andy....he doesn't get it. he thinks he is a ladies man.

[BruceLeroy]

andy....he doesn't get it. he thinks he is a ladies man.

 

Thanks for the attempt at a compliment. I'm just a friendly guy and I don't see chicks as only existing to serve my cock or worthless for not serving my cock. The way you going on, if you had a sister youd prolly try to nail her. Why else would you talk to her or hang out with her if not to screw her right? One of my best friends in HS was a chick and we never did anything physical. She's rad too! Other best bud was a guy I played ball with. We never did anything physical beyond shooting hoops. He rad too! WTF is the difference?

Had a GF get all prissy about my chick friend once and I assured her. She still wigged so I told her to take a hike. She insuted my character twice and I got no time for that mess. If I'm such a **** as to do what you suggest then get gone to someone else who you prolly can't trust to have fem friends.

[Dexter Morgan]

Thanks for the attempt at a compliment.

 

if narcissism is a compliment, then you are very welcome:)

[jthorne]

OP,

I get how you figured out who he was by the details he posted, but how did you know to come to Loveshack? Did he tell you he was posting here?

[collegeguy_24]

Has anyone noticed that for the past two pages the OP has not responded to anything?

[BruceLeroy]

Has anyone noticed that for the past two pages the OP has not responded to anything?

 

I know right. Instead its become about getting me in line cause I dont sweat the maybes and what ifs. Pardon me sirs but I want a lot of friends no matter how they take a piss.

Every time you go at who your dating about ther platonic friends with nothing to go on but that they got a platonic friend your calling then a dirty lying ****bag. Is that love to you? Is that even being nice?

[Dan654321]

Item 1. You saw this ex bf. alone. If he is legite, he would put you in touch with contacts without trashing your current relationship. That's a meeting. Contacts, Smontacts. You made a rendavous. If you want a job, go out and on your own merits get one. Make some female contacts. What's wrong with female contacts? For your own peace of mind. Do you really need to create drama in your life. Your trying to land a job.

Item 2. "All these guys" Please listen to me. If you want your current relationship to work. Try making some mutual friends. What's wrong with a couple having a good time with another couple. Holy ardvark, you might even make some contacts.

Item 3. "It's his first serioius relationship" Dear heart, that's a pretty special position to occupy in someone's life. That is not something to be ridiculed. That means he feels you are someone he holds in his heart. Do you want his heart? That's a serious responsibility.

Item 4. "You were unemployed for a year" I might believe you were underemployed. But if you really wanted to work. You could have. When I went to college, I washed diches, cooked hamburgs. Did handyman wok, and tutured at times. I was seldom unemployed. Try waiting tables 2 nights a week. It might bring a little pocket money.

Item 5. "Emails" Quit emailing ex boyfriends. If these so called contacts haven't produced a job, then it is time to make some real contacts.

Quit using contacts as an excuse to flirt. It is unbecoming.

Item 6 let's just skip that.

Item 7. "Sperm donor?" The last time I talked with a woman about sperm I got laid. Duh, what are you doing? Please, no more.

Oh, I just can't go on.. If I were dating you, I would have run off into the night and you would have never heard from me again.

Edited October 9, 2010 by Dan654321

[abouttoloseit]

Item 1. You saw this ex bf. alone. If he is legite, he would put you in touch with contacts without trashing your current relationship. That's a meeting. Contacts, Smontacts. You made a rendavous. If you want a job, go out and on your own merits get one. Make some female contacts. What's wrong with female contacts? For your own peace of mind. Do you really need to create drama in your life. Your trying to land a job.

Item 2. "All these guys" Please listen to me. If you want your current relationship to work. Try making some mutual friends. What's wrong with a couple having a good time with another couple. Holy ardvark, you might even make some contacts.

Item 3. "It's his first serioius relationship" Dear heart, that's a pretty special position to occupy in someone's life. That is not something to be ridiculed. That means he feels you are someone he holds in his heart. Do you want his heart? That's a serious responsibility.

Item 4. "You were unemployed for a year" I might believe you were underemployed. But if you really wanted to work. You could have. When I went to college, I washed diches, cooked hamburgs. Did handyman wok, and tutured at times. I was seldom unemployed. Try waiting tables 2 nights a week. It might bring a little pocket money.

Item 5. "Emails" Quit emailing ex boyfriends. If these so called contacts haven't produced a job, then it is time to make some real contacts.

Quit using contacts as an excuse to flirt. It is unbecoming.

Item 6 let's just skip that.

Item 7. "Sperm donor?" The last time I talked with a woman about sperm I got laid. Duh, what are you doing? Please, no more.

Oh, I just can't go on.. If I were dating you, I would have run off into the night and you would have never heard from me again.

 

 

You speak sense. There is little of it in the world sometimes. You re-affirmed my faith in people. *High five*

[sylverorchids]

OP,

I get how you figured out who he was by the details he posted, but how did you know to come to Loveshack? Did he tell you he was posting here?

 

yes he did. and for the record......i made the sperm joke after my bf broke up with me the night before....for wanting to have coffee with a guy i dated for one month. i didn't go.

[sylverorchids]

well i've been busy and haven't checked back. made the sperm comment after my boyfriend dumped me the night before. we obviously got back together. i agree with bruces position on opposite sex friends. there are benefits to engaging with other human beings that have nothing to do with sexuality. some people don't see that. you guys can post all you want about how i am so evil. a nd that's fine. but i know i'm not. and this just proves that it will be extremely hard to find someone who shares my views on opposite sex friends within a relationship. i by no means think i should have any male friends that are kept from my boyfriend. p.s. all contact with the people my bf is uncomfortable with has diminished to almost nothing if not none at all. though i still don't agree with it. i do it because it's not worth the fight..

[sylverorchids]

we never met up.

[sylverorchids]

You speak sense. There is little of it in the world sometimes. You re-affirmed my faith in people. *High five*

 

 

the ex and i never met up.

 

you don't know me and my situation so don't go on about my employment position, please.

 

we were broken up when i made the sperm joke