My girlfriend wants a break but says she still loves me. I'm confused, what do I do?

[1confusedguy]

Recently my girlfriend (Meg) of 2.5 years told me that she needs "a break." I am so confused right now because she can't give me a reason for wanting a break. She recently graduated from college and got a new job 2 hours away from me. I am still in college and I don't have the time for all of this heartache. She can't explain why she wants a break but that she has a gut feeling to take a break so that she won't have to after we get married. This is the first time either one of us has been is love before and it seems like she wants a break to make sure it is real. Does this make any sense b/c it doesn't to me?

 

This is where all of the confusion comes in. She said that while she needs a break, she wants to continue talking to me because we are best friends. She swears that there aren't any other guys and that there won't be. She continues to tell me that she still loves me and that she knows we will end up being together.

 

What I can't figure out is why she wants a break? The only time we have to see each other is on the weekends, so it's not like we are spending a lot of time together anyway. I'm also confused on how we are taking a break since she wants to continue to talk to me on the phone? Nothing is really different between us if we are still talking on the phone.

 

My girlfriend and I had the best relationship. We never fought, and all of our friends were jealous of the relationship that we had. Meg swears that she has and will remain faithful to me. My heart tells me that this is true but my brain tells me otherwise. I really love her but I'm not sure what I should do. Should i continue talking to her, or should I ignore her calls since she wants a break? I'm also wondering if I should even get back with her once she is ready? Please Help me! What should I do?

[sami]

The best thing to do is to listen to her. Give her a break and if she really loves you she will come back to you.

[faux]

I have always been rather wary of the entire "break" thing. I have always taken "I think we need a break" / "I want a break from us." etc. as "Bye. I am no longer interested in you. Don't talk to me or I will be driven nuts."

 

It hasn't always meant that, but I have found treating a "break" as an END has helped me cope with such situations. If the girl came back it was a plus, if I was still interested.

 

I think it's best to give your partner the time she says she needs. I'd say treat it as a total end and don't even try patching it up. It's all now entirely her decision. One cannot control the feelings of another.

[luvcrazy02]

Originally posted by faux

It's all now entirely her decision. One cannot control the feelings of another.

 

This is very true. About the phone call thing...if she calls you...go ahead and talk to her...you guys are still friends. Don't go out of your way to get to the phone though. If you're busy...let it ring...don't seem like you're sitting by the phone waiting for her to call you. It's okay to talk to her a little, but don't over do it. It will initially be her decision what happens, and if you let things flow, and go on with your life, things will be better in the long run. If she comes back to you, and your feelings for her are still there, things will work out. If she decides that she doesn't want to come back, you'll already have your life going without her, and you'll be able to move on.

[sami]

No matter what, try to keep that thread of friendship. Do not overdo it though.

[bicyclejunk]

1Confused Guy-

 

 

 

It sucks but you're really going to have to try and shift your feelings a little bit to keep yourself from growing bitter or beaing hurt.

 

She's wants to take a break.

 

It doesn't make sense I know, She wants to keep in contact most likely because she doesn't want to lose you

and wants to keep you near while she figures some stuff out. It's a bit selfish and manipulative. It is a really

selfish thing to ask, "Please stay in contact, but I want to take a break". How does that make any sense? If she

needs a break, Why doesn't she just break up with you? Why put you thru agony, wondering, worrying?

 

Not to scare you, But i heard the same "I love you and I see us together in the future", with crying eyes and

the most convincing face, yet my girl still left me and is now dating someone else. Same with a buddy of mine,

His girl told him that she needed a break, there was no one else, Yet a week after she hooked up with someone

else, That was so not the kind of person she ways either, so it bummed him out bigtime.

 

Keep in mind that, Although she says there isn't anyone else, She could say that just to keep from hurting you.

I mean, You can't rule out the fact that she just actually "Like" someone and it's confusing to her so she may need

to take a break from you guys to re-evaluate her feelings, what she wants, where she's going.

 

Think about it, give her space, Stay calm, stay strong...

[sami]

I don't see it as selfishness. She may want to give herself sometime to know you better in a way other than just a friend. Just give her some time and wait.

[flossie22]

ok, heres some advice. i am going through a similar thing. i relaly do .love my boyfriend but i just am going through a very transitiory peeriod right now and im having some doubts. but i dont know if those doubts are because of my life, or the fact that i have an anxiety disorder, but anyway, i feel like its only fair to give him a break instead of stringing him along. taking some time apart is good to keep things healthy. i havent made any decisions as of yet, but i wouldnt take it as that she doesnt love you. she does. shes proabbly just going through some internal stuff that she needs to figure out.

[Durden]

When a girl says I really love you but i just want to be friends, it means I want to stay in touch with you until I couldnt give a **** about you. Do yourself a big favour, if she wants a break and space, then give it to her, permanently.

 

By the way being dumped a few times has made me the man i am today! bitter and twisted!

[sami]

You may give her a break but not necessarily " permenantly". Things may change in a positive way for both of you.

[1confusedguy]

I just want to thank all you who replied to my post, all of you have been a lot of help. This past week really sucked but everything is slowly getting better. There's nothing a lot of beer can't handle! Anyway I've decided to be nice to my ex because she hasn't sent me a couple of my shirts that she has. I'm trying to move on but it has been real hard. Anyway I just wanted to say thanks to everyone that gave me advice, it really came in handy.