What's the point in living?

[Dooda]

I am slowly coming to the understanding that there is no point in living...

What is the point in living?

Everyday I go through the same ****... my same distrust in people, my same self-hate that I can't seem to overcome. I constantly 'overact' in front of people to act like I have a personality when I don't. What the **** am I supposed to do. Ya, I'm supposed to take action, but everyday I feel depraved, anxious and totally demotivated to do anything. Sure, I have friends, but no real friends that will help me through this.

 

I constantly distance myself from people, and put on this attitude so that I can kind of make sure people won't like me. **** it, I'm so tired of this ****. Why me? Why do I have to go through this ****...

 

I had an abusive family, that treated me like complete ****, and I'm supposed to accept it like everything is normal. It doesn't make sense. I'm going insane.

 

I constantly question myself, and tell myself that I'm a piece of ****. Everything I do is wrong, and everything I do is the end of the world.

 

If only I could wake up and everything would be normal, with none of the bullcrap.

Every girl I get to know seems to run the **** away from me, and I have no chance of ever hooking up with a girl.

 

I'm on the verge of killing myself, and the only thing holding me back is that I would be a coward, and that my life would be labelled as 'nothing'. My friends don't know who I am. They think I'm a dumbass.

 

I'm confused, lost, crazy, unable to cope with myself or anyone. I have started Uni this year and am not on track of my courses and I think I will fail if I don't start studying soon. But, it's like, why the **** am I going to study if I doesn't amount to nothing. What's the point in studying.

I was happy a few years ago, but I know I will never attain that happiness again. I want to be NORMAL, so badly, like I was... that's all I want... but it's like every waking moment is stressful...

 

People go through war, cancer, poverty, famine, and I'm here feeling sorry for myself and I don't even know why... **** it.

[tetrapod]

I have felt like that. It just went on and on.

 

Firstly, get up, grab your phone and the phone book, call a crisis line. Do this RIGHT NOW. They know better how to help you than anyone here. DO it. Now. Go. NO EXCUSES.

 

Secondly, you are at uni. There should be some kind of counselling service. Get into that. Commit yourself to doing a set number of sessions.

 

I somehow managed to claw myself out of that pit when I realised that I was on my own and the only person who could ever look after myself was me. No one could help me if I didn't want to help myself.

 

Those times of beating yourself up, telling yourself that everything is bad and wrong and failing. I have been there. Been there so badly.

That inner voice is your biggest enemy. You need to turn on it and choke the life out of it, not out of yourself.

I got a little notebook and wrote in it tiny things that were good about me. It was hard coming up with any at all, and some seemed really silly, but when that critical voice came back I could say, in a little scared voice: "go look in the book, I am not completely awful like you say!" I couldn't argue against the voice, but the book remembered my good things, I let the book argue. (yes, I am completely anthropomorphosising here, I am not nuts!

 

Why should you live? Because if you die, you don't get a chance at 'doing' this life again. No matter what you think happens after death, you won't get to change anything.

Tell me, do you really want to die, as in dead, or do you want the empty painful feelings to go away? You have felt life before, you can have it again, but you need to control that nasty inner voice and take back your strength. Baby steps. You have to want it. You wouldn't have made this post if you didn't want it.

 

Now get up off that chair and ring that crisis line!

 

(hugs!)

[OpenBook]

I heartily second tetrapod's post, and also want to add that any random acts of kindness you do for others will help you out of this mess, believe it or not. You never know who you are going to help up, how much it means to them - little things, like giving up your seat on the bus so an old woman can sit down. Stuff that seems insignificant and meaningless to you at the time can literally save someone else's life, turn it on a different course. And in turn, the course of your own life changes for the better as well.

 

I have no idea how or why this works. I just know that it does. Those little random acts of kindness will come back around to you, in ways you can't even imagine.

 

This is why you are still around, why your life has meaning and significance whether you believe it or not. You are here for a reason - a good one. It could be that your own suffering will serve as a testament to others that they too can survive it and overcome it.

 

I am so sorry you have been abused by your own family. You're not the only one - this happens to people way too often. It's wrong and it's heartbreaking and it's not the way it was intended. But regardless of what they do or say to you, you ARE significant and meaningful. I hope you see that, no matter what.

[ImGoinNuts]

I think the point is, you are your own movie director, and you have a camera that can record a 70+ year long movie.

 

What's it about?

 

 

THAT is the point of life. To come up with the answer to that.

 

You're life is a movie. Think of your childhood. That was the opening act.

 

Some movies start slow.. Heck, I am 35 and really just figuring it out now.

 

 

People, I think, do this.. but they want to be the Tom Cruise, the Cameron Diaz.. but they look in the mirror, and see Bob, the dentist. Or Cindy the average girl.

 

Well, then become Bob the Dentist, who discovered the new awesome dental device that I can use to prevent my grinding teeth without jamming my gums and giving me an awful night sleep.

 

Now, you are Bob the Dentist who invented this new thing I so badly need, and you marry the babe.

 

Make you're movie end good...

 

The good thing about that is, just like a movie.. the first hour can be crap, but if by the end you all of the sudden realize it ended on a good note.. you sort of forget the first hour.

[skydiveaddict]

People go through war, cancer, poverty, famine, and I'm here feeling sorry for myself and I don't even know why... **** it.

 

 

You need to find out why. I've been through war and it messed me up bad. But I got help for it. So can you. Go see your doc TOMORROW and start getting the help you need. There are drugs and therapy out there that will get you back on your feet again. If I can do it, anyone can.

[In_Repair]

I heartily second tetrapod's post, and also want to add that any random acts of kindness you do for others will help you out of this mess, believe it or not. You never know who you are going to help up, how much it means to them - little things, like giving up your seat on the bus so an old woman can sit down. Stuff that seems insignificant and meaningless to you at the time can literally save someone else's life, turn it on a different course. And in turn, the course of your own life changes for the better as well.

 

I have no idea how or why this works. I just know that it does. Those little random acts of kindness will come back around to you, in ways you can't even imagine.

 

 

I support this idea, as I have used it myself. I got really depressed and hit my mental low note a long time ago. I was a real dickhead. I was constantly doing things that would get me into trouble, getting drunk and stoned all the time, running around with all sorts of women, way too much career pressure for my age at the time... I ran my own batteries down. Then I broke my foot during a fight and it took me out of action for a good while. While I was going through these hard times, I realized that I had nobody there to support me. Lots of people waiting to criticize me in my current state, but no real support. I began to criticize myself, to take a deeper look at myself... I really didn't like me very much, and I couldn't blame anyone else for feeling the same way. Instead of getting angry at the world, I decided to be a better man. The easiest way to do it was to start out like Openbook suggests. Just start being nice to everyone. Be that charming guy that everyone seems to like. Be there when people need you. Be courteous, be sensitive, be understanding. Learn how to listen, and learn what to say. Wear a smile whenever possible. Everything gets better. People will want you around, and they will want to include you in things.

 

Once you drop that gloom and doom attitude, you will begin to chuckle at others who have it because you will see from the other side how silly you have been. I've gotten into it with several people by actually laughing when they give me a bad attitude. It's like looking into a funhouse mirror.

[quankanne]

I had an abusive family, that treated me like complete ****, and I'm supposed to accept it like everything is normal. It doesn't make sense.

 

no, you're not supposed to "accept" it – you're supposed to learn and grow from it. Otherwise, you just add to the cycle of abuse. And believe me, if there's enough in you to post all these things, there's enough in you to step up and make your life work for you despite all the crap you've lived through so far. I won't lie – it'll be tough at times, but it makes those small successes and accomplishments all the more sweeter because you showed yourself that you could do it. You've got it within you to engineer that change to make life what YOU want it to be, not merely be slapped around by it, ¿entiendes?.

[Leigh 87]

yep. I sometimes think " why the hell do people with horrendus illnesses and horrible physical conditions BOTHER". I mean, I feel SUCH darkness and lonliness from having NOT hardships!

 

 

You know what? You live for the moments that do not suck. That is pretty much it. try to find things that don;'t suck.

 

for instance; UNI IS A GREAT thing! !! STUDYING, is trying hard to achieve something.

 

one thing that feels good is trying hard to achieve something, such as stidying and then reaching your goal ( of getting a degree).

 

Other things that can provide moments of happiness are; a fun time with friends or a friend, eating nice food. Going on a holiday perhaps.

 

 

Life generally sucks for a lot of people, but people tend to find things to hang on for. They FIND SOMETHING to live for.

 

It is a misconseption that ppl should be happy all of the time. SOME people are happy a lot. I think it is genetics; there are studies that show that some ppl just have more potential to feel happier much more often, than other people.

 

But it IS possibloe for people like u to feel happy, some of the time. Just life for the moments that don't suck.