Author HeavenOrHell Posted October 5, 2010 Author Share Posted October 5, 2010 Haha ok I think both him and his ex are naive at times, but they're lovely people, much like Peter Pan I guess Time will tell, but it is the same for all of us, only time will tell if things will work out, none of us are perfect, we all have problems in our relationships along the way, only time will tell if any of our relationships will work out. I could ask you how you can 100% trust your partner, you might think of course you can trust him, well I feel the same about my partner, I KNOW I can trust him, I don't trust easily but he is one of the most trustworthy people I've met. You learn who to trust and who not to trust, if I doubted every little thing then I wouldn't get into another relationship again after my ex left me, I would just feel too cynical. I guess the only thing I wasn't sure I trusted was that I was 100% his priority, but this doesn't mean he's lied to me or been deliberately hurtful. No matter what the future brings I won't regret having met him, if nothing else it has shown me I CAN have feelings for someone else and that there ARE special people out there-I thought my ex was the only person for me, the only love of my life and that I'd never fall in love again after we split up. Experience has shown me we can have more than one love of our life, that people change and grow, especially if we met someone in our teens or early 20's, like me and my ex did, also I don't see us (me and my ex) as a failure, 18 years together is more than most manage I had another love of my life but we were together only 6 months. I don't consider my other partners as loves of my life. Sorry, went off at a tangent there Yes HOH time will tell. By the way, the more you write about your boyfriend the more he keeps reminding me of Peter Pan. Extreme naivety and the ability to be easily manipulated by those closest to him. In fact I think I'm going to go read that book now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HeavenOrHell Posted October 5, 2010 Author Share Posted October 5, 2010 Forgot to add to the person who asked if I'd met his ex yet; I haven't been over there yet as I've got agoraphobia (mild), so I find it hard to travel far, so he usually comes over here, but I'm going over at the end of this month, I could meet her then if I wanted to but would rather concentrate on me and him the first time I go over as I'll only be there 3 days. Also, I wanted to point out that I have low self esteem which became worse after my ex left, so even though my partner does his best to tell me and show me how much he loves me and how special I am to him it doesn't always sink in, so sometimes I worry too much about things and feel insecure when there's no need to be. Link to post Share on other sites
aerogurl87 Posted October 5, 2010 Share Posted October 5, 2010 Haha ok I think both him and his ex are naive at times, but they're lovely people, much like Peter Pan I guess Time will tell, but it is the same for all of us, only time will tell if things will work out, none of us are perfect, we all have problems in our relationships along the way, only time will tell if any of our relationships will work out. I could ask you how you can 100% trust your partner, you might think of course you can trust him, well I feel the same about my partner, I KNOW I can trust him, I don't trust easily but he is one of the most trustworthy people I've met. You learn who to trust and who not to trust, if I doubted every little thing then I wouldn't get into another relationship again after my ex left me, I would just feel too cynical. I guess the only thing I wasn't sure I trusted was that I was 100% his priority, but this doesn't mean he's lied to me or been deliberately hurtful. No matter what the future brings I won't regret having met him, if nothing else it has shown me I CAN have feelings for someone else and that there ARE special people out there-I thought my ex was the only person for me, the only love of my life and that I'd never fall in love again after we split up. Experience has shown me we can have more than one love of our life, that people change and grow, especially if we met someone in our teens or early 20's, like me and my ex did, also I don't see us (me and my ex) as a failure, 18 years together is more than most manage I had another love of my life but we were together only 6 months. I don't consider my other partners as loves of my life. Sorry, went off at a tangent there Yes Peter Pan was a lovely character, although I prefer Tinkerbell in the original book alot more. I think Elswyth was right though, you two have a very different relationship to most posters on this board and very different boundaries when it comes to friendships. But if it works for you two and you're happy then so be it. I hope you enjoy your upcoming trip. By the way do you think in the long run you will move there or do you want him to move to where you live given your agoraphobia? Link to post Share on other sites
Author HeavenOrHell Posted October 5, 2010 Author Share Posted October 5, 2010 Thank you, I want us to both remain friends with our ex's, we want to meet each other's ex too, it's just taking a little while for things to settle and for boundaries to be set, but I think we'll get there, he always wants to hear any worries or anything of mine, says to please tell him rather than keep anything from him and he always tries to be so helpful, he's sweet I'm looking forward to seeing him in his country and his home for a change, even if I am nervous about travelling In the long run it looks more likely he would move to this country, because as he put it, he feels he's not happy there and doesn't have a life there really, except his full time job; but he can work from home or transfer, and he knows I am happy with my life here, I have a lot of friends here and love my work, whereas his friends are scattered all over the world. I live in the countryside (pretty much) though and he's more of a townie, so we may compromise and have our own places still (but in the same country at least) and spend time between the two, it means we won't be living together full time but part time suits me/us fine, it's much better than what we have now Again, we're probably not very conventional with this either! I love the idea of spending time between two places But we'll see what the future brings, still feel a little hesitant looking ahead after my last relationship ended, in some ways I prefer taking things day to day, but with the hope/idea in the back of our minds (at the moment) that me and him will live closer/together in a couple of years. Yes Peter Pan was a lovely character, although I prefer Tinkerbell in the original book alot more. I think Elswyth was right though, you two have a very different relationship to most posters on this board and very different boundaries when it comes to friendships. But if it works for you two and you're happy then so be it. I hope you enjoy your upcoming trip. By the way do you think in the long run you will move there or do you want him to move to where you live given your agoraphobia? Link to post Share on other sites
Omei Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 I don't think I could say anything anyone else already has to you. My stomach twists at your story. I would not be okay at all! Props to you for being so strong/understanding in your situation. Link to post Share on other sites
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