theedge Posted February 27, 2004 Share Posted February 27, 2004 I was with a girl on and off for about a year and about 2 months ago she set up no contact. From the letter it wasn't one of those give me a bit of time, it was maybe I will see you in 10 years. For those 2 months I was going crazy, I so badly wanted to contact her and see her. It was painful for me, but I never did contact her. Then a couple of weeks ago she re-opened the communication lines. Here is where I can't figure it out.......Everyday up till she contacted me I wanted to contact her. Now the communication lines are open again and it doens't interest me...Would you say it was subconscious because it was forced upon me? A power thing? Did I want to see her crumble? Now I have a choice, continue on this road of non emotional conversations, or try to open up again. Don't get me wrong I don't want to date her anymore, I think I was hurt too often to try again. Whats your thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
sami Posted February 27, 2004 Share Posted February 27, 2004 If you don't want to date her any more then why are you so concerned about her ? You just go on with your own life. Link to post Share on other sites
lost_in_chgo Posted February 27, 2004 Share Posted February 27, 2004 Obviously you are here looking for advice because you really haven't decided it's over. It's worth more thought. You are protecting yourself from more harm. It wasn't really clear if you initiated the breakup or not. Assuming she dumped you... You have an opportunity here that most people never get. And most of the ones that do would reject immediately out of pride, anger or bitterness. You take a chance taking her back. If you want to pursue it, take it slow and lay down some ground rules (gently) for her. Don't just let her waltz back in because she wants to. But make it clear you want her back, but not like it was. Don't play games with her, be straight forward about everything and clear the decks up front. I've found that the best way to do this, if she wants to come back to you, is to sit her down and tell her your issues with getting back together. If she is insecure or easily overwhelmed, start the conversation off by saying that you need to talk about a few things and that the conversation will be a difficult one, but that everything will be fine by the end of your talk if she is honest with you about everything. If you dumped her... Have an honest talk withe her about your issues and take her back if that is what you want. But mean what you say. Link to post Share on other sites
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