deuces Posted October 4, 2010 Share Posted October 4, 2010 We had been together 4 years but she broke it off with me a couple of months ago for a variety of reasons apparently. Things were starting to get really bad and we were arguing everyday. It was a vicious cycle. She would do something to test my trust, I would get paranoid, I'd confront her, we would both get angry, she would detach herself, and in the end, left us both hurt. We went on like that for months until finally she had enough and broke up with me. She told me she needed "time and space" because she "lost herself", she told me had enough of the constant arguing, and because she just couldn't do the long distance thing anymore. Thing is, I was getting ready to move across the world for her, something we had been planning for years. But we break up, 3 months prior to that commencing. So, after many talks, I finally understand what she is telling me. She says she still loves me, still wants to be with me, but she won't get back with me unless I move there. When we are face to face she says, is where we can finally "fix" our problems, hopefully move past them, and try our best for a clean slate. But the way I see it, I have compromised sooooooo much of myself for this relationship, she lost my trust and before I make any kind of major move, I want us to work on some of our problems first before I move. At the very least, I would need assurance that I wasn't just moving for nothing. It was already a huge risk to move while she was my girlfriend, and now she is basically asking me to move there while we are technically not together which is even a huger risk! She says things will be better and we'll have a fighting chance when we can deal with everything in person. Although, my perspective is we've come this far doing long-distance, what's another 3 months? Why would she break up with me risking the chance of me even getting there in 3 months? She says if we continue the way we are, we will just get back in the same cycle. I say, if we break up, we risk losing everything all together? What do you guys think? Someone here has to compromise. I am doing my best to find the best solution but I'm heartbroken and not my complete self so I wanted unbiased points of view. Am I being unfair, is she? What should I do? Link to post Share on other sites
CycleOfLove Posted October 4, 2010 Share Posted October 4, 2010 How about before you actually move there, go visit her. You guys will see each other face to face, and could talk things out and see if you both still want this relationship and if it can be saved. when you there see how things go and if you guys still love each other and want to be together then yes move there. but if you guys keep arguing and fighting and she broke up with you why would you move there? I suggest before you decide living there,visit her and see how things go. I hope you get what im trying to say, Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
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