Confusion

[TheLoveAdvisor]

This is long, sorry...Hello and thanks for reading... I have been married 18 years plus dating her 7 years previous..She was 14 almost 15 I was 17..She is 39 and I 42 now... We have a great relationship, never argue, may disagree. No children, we lack nothing material.... I am very loving, so is she... She works, makes most of the money.. I do labor, plus keep the house up, do the laundry,mow...I am very attentive to her as she is to me...I am not boring either, very active and so is she..

Our sex is great, if anything it gets better...

 

I met a childhood friend on FB, we chatted became friends again... A few months later, we met face to face along with my wife...We spent maybe 2 hours outside talking...We took 66 pictures, told him we would post them and send him one so he could find the album... Since I took the pictures, most of them didn't have me in them, but a couple did have me in them... I got on FB that night, and he sent a request to my wife to be friends.. I was a little timid, but told her to accept...

 

Later that night I noticed on his page that a tagged picture of my friend to his post, but the picture only had him and my wife in it, his and her name was tagged... I thought that was strange, but I didn't know who tagged it because I had no idea how tagging works, so I wondered why my old friend I just met would tag a picture of him and my wife, but not a picture of me and him, or just me or just him??... My wife appeared confused to, however it just got posted that day and it sent to his "My Picture Profile"... Since my wife said she had no idea who tagged it, then I thought my friend did it and I got the impression he was sending signals to my wife.... So, I got upset and banned him from both of our FB pages...

 

Later my wife finally told me she tagged it, but this was after me asking her a few times during a 2 week period that she said she didn't know who tagged it....So I thought my friend did it..Which was a red flag to me...Why would my wife tag a pic of him and her instead one with him or him and me??? So now I am wondering about my wife also! I wasn't familiar with tagging and how they work.. When I went back to see it on my profile, I noticed it was missing, everything else was there but not the tagged photo post..... so somebody deleted it on my page! She said she must have tagged it because we told him we would send him a pic, but why would she send a pic of them 2 out of 66 pictures, and not tag anymore??? Or send a pic of me and him or just him??

Why did she lie about tagging it? Or just remebered 2 weeks later after prodding and prodding??

 

I got jealous because of lack of trust, and if you keep reading this long story, you will understand why.... So, I deleted him from my friends list, my wife did the same, told him i was having marriage and trust issues with my wife and thought it would be a good idea to let him go... My wife told me the next day he sent her a message telling her I deleted him, and she told him she would be deleting him...But, she deleted the message before I could read it..Red Flag 2..I asked her why I didn't get to read it, and she said it wasn't a big deal, as he only said I deleted him and that was that...She responded back telling him good bye!

 

 

A few days later, we became friends again because I thought maybe I overreacted.... This time though I kept him from becoming friends with my wife on FB because I was having trust issues.... He knew I was going through a very difficult time... However, he never really comforted me during these chats, he seemed distant, or didn't chat back if I brought up my marriage or wife...

 

This week my wife went out of town for work and is staying in a hotel, while I was chatting with my old friend on FB and talking to my wife on the phone at the same time she told me he sent her a friends request......I got very upset that he would send her a request when I made it known without words I didn't want him or anybody that I didn't know very well to be my wifes friend, at least give me time to get to know you before you start chatting with my wife, which by the way he was doing the first time they were friends on FB.... And I didn't like it, but I let them chat anyways... He should be chatting with me not her...

 

Plus, sending her a friend request while she was alone without him saying anything while we were chatting to me was another flag...Plus he knows we are really having a bad time in our marriage..

 

So, while I was talking to her on the phone, him on FB, I sent a message to him, it read " Hey Dude, I want you to stay away from my wife before I do something violent!"

His Reply: "Yes, I think that would be a good idea"

So he blocked me and my wife from FB... So it went from a friendly conversation in the chat box, to threatening him to stay away since he seemed to sneak a friends request to her while I was talking to her on the phone and him on line! I told my wife what I wrote him, and she agreed to ban him, but he beat us to it.... Strange??? Was I right to do this??

 

During our friendship,He kept asking me over and over to come by and camp out, or cook out, every weekend, I got to the point I had to hang up... My wife was always willing to go sit in a field on a chair and get drunk with my friend while we all talked, I don't drink.... She was really drinking more than normal, why be so excited to drink every weekend in a field with just us 3??

Also,her FB replies became different, example: when I posted a "I love you Thread" on her wall, she clicked "like" instead of replying back telling me she loved me, I thought that was odd since we always tell each other we love them... She seemed much more reserved, and not as lovey on line...

 

The trust issue, and why I have them with my wife...

 

She had a car accident that gave her an concussion a year and a half ago... I was using the credit card one day, and it declined, I knew we had credit, so when I got home and told her she busted out crying and told me they canceled them due to lack of payment. I was shocked cause we have the money... She hadn't made a payment in about 6 months....

I pay them off with savings....Late fees, and all..$15,000.

2 months later, I am sitting in my room watching TV, and the power goes off, the doorbell rings, I go outside and the electric man is standing with papers in his hand and tells me I owe 200.00 because the bill hasn't been paid in 2 months!

 

Now for the shocker!!!! I was looking through the bank, and noticed I had lots of money left over, I was happy, but after further inspection I noticed the house payment hadn't been paid for July, then as I kept going I found of total of 6 missed house payments!!! One payment she made for $75!!! I couldn't figure that one out! She gets the mail and kept this from me...

 

Her reason for doing was she was embarrassed she forgot, and it just escalated into a huge mess... I wanna believe her, but I am having trouble doing this..It could have been her brain injury cause she has never done this in 17 of 18 year marriage...So, this is why I am having trust issues.... If its an injury, I can understand, but if its something else like did she throw the towel in, or she had to much on her plate???

 

She wants to heal our marriage, and has said she will do anything I want or need to gain her trust.... She blows up at first when I bring up trust issues, but she immediately calms down and becomes very compassionate...She will say, sorry, I am just sick of bringing it up, but then she will recant and say take all the time you need baby...

 

Goodness, I am sooo sorry this is long, and if you read it its cool, but I wanted to hear other peoples opinions on if I did the right thing by getting rid of my friend who seemed more interested in my wife while we were going through difficult times...Thank You!