FriedBrain Posted October 4, 2010 Share Posted October 4, 2010 I have a crush on a work mate and everyone knows it I asked him if he was single and when he said yes I asked if he would like to go out some time and he said yes. So we went for drinks and then he said he would like to do it again some time so I assumed that he was interested in me. So I asked him out again and it was really weird - I picked him up, arranged VIP access to an event, arranged the food and wine and then dropped him off at home! A couple of weeks went by and I commented to him "Would you like me to keep on asking you out or would you just like to be friends?". He gave me a dumb look and said he did not realise that I was interested in him that way???? hmm dont understand. I got all flustered and then said ok and walked away. I then got a text message from him saying that he was taken back because did not realise I was interested in him that way and and he was sorry about his reaction and that he would like to spend some time getting to know each other. Ok so does that mean something? Obviously not because a couple of weeks go by and we start spending time together but it is friends stuff, nothing else - still confused I think I should push the agenda a bit and ask him out again and am awarded with a reply that says sure if the person he has started seeing does not have any plans!!!! hmm so my reply is dont worry I will ask someone else and his reply is he did not realise that I was still interested in him in that way. I realise that I must have been doing something wrong, not giving him an indication of my feelings but from where I come from spending every weekend with someone means something. Am I wrong? (please note that there was no physical contact during this time but I am not used to making the first move is this where I went wrong?). So the story still continues because he is still seeing the person he mentioned and apparently things are going well. But I still have feelings for him and I have to work with him. Not only that, he continues on like nothing has changed - that we are still great friends and spend time together on weekends and I cant seem to get rid of him. I have tried to spend time with other people but because we both have shared interest he always seems to turn up and is now moving in on my friends and spending time with them most weekends as well, I dont want to give my friends up to get away from him - ahh please help! What do I do? I am so frustrated and just want to get away from this guy but the only possibility I can see is to leave my job and move state! Link to post Share on other sites
breadnbutter Posted October 4, 2010 Share Posted October 4, 2010 I have a crush on a work mate and everyone knows it What do I do? I am so frustrated and just want to get away from this guy but the only possibility I can see is to leave my job and move state! Having a crush is a good feeling for me once I am in my twenties. Until then I used to think that if you like something you need to get ir. I am really lovestuck nowadays and I am literally enjoying that feeling for some normal yet admirable guy whom I can't reveal it to due to many reasons. But my feeling has kindled some light in me showing me that I am not dead, I like to dress up, like to wear new earrings as he has the habit of glancing at them while talking,like to have a word with him whenever I get a chance...and so on. I don't gain anything but just a happy memory! I know you feel embarassed with the whole situation. But I suggest you carry on as if nothing has happened too. Don't feel awkward with that guy nor with your other colleagues. Feelings and emotions are involutary and you cna't control them. Don;t be silly. Don;t quit your job or move out. You did not have a heart breaking love affair but just a simple date. Why would you wnat to date a person who did not realise or pretended not to realise that it was date? Link to post Share on other sites
Author FriedBrain Posted October 5, 2010 Author Share Posted October 5, 2010 Thanks guys for your responses. I suppose I am acting a little childish by wanting to avoid the guy. Really what I am looking for is some time out away from him during my personal time. I love riding motorbikes and joined a female riding group to do this, only problem is that they also do include guys which is normally pretty good but now this guys is also coming along to our riding days, has joined up to the forum that we have and is posting heaps of stuff. I understand that he has now made friends with some of the people involved in the group but I think there needs to be some boundaries too and I just dont know how to get him to back off. Yeah we did a lot of riding together before but this group was supposed to be my way of making new riding friends and getting away to have some space with other people because I did not feel it was healthy me spending so much time with him when I still had feelings for him. He just seems to have tagged along on my journey to get away! I suppose I feel like every step that I try to take away from a situation that I dont want to put myself in, he seems to follow. I do appreciate the fact that he is still friends with me and we still enjoy time together but that does not mean that I want to have something separate from him. Sometimes it just stresses me out and I do want to do that run away - although maybe it was a bit strong of me to say the only way I can see to get away from him is to quit my job and leave - Link to post Share on other sites
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