Thoncz Posted October 4, 2010 Share Posted October 4, 2010 First, I would like to say hi to all. I am just new to this forum and glad I found it. I have this girlfriend of mine. She studied in my country for 5 months for English language and I met her, a week before she leave for her country of origin. We really get along well together and started dating, that week was like the best week of my life. We kissed and hug each other intimately and say i love you like normal couples do. All in this in just one week. It has been 6 months since I last saw her. We just see each other using Skype or any other messengers out there. I really want to see her but I am just a student, with no money except for my allowance which is like only 5 dollars a day. (Converted to US$) I don't know how can we hang on to this relationship. She said she wants to let me go because she can't do anything for me and she can't make me happy. I asked her if she still loves me and she said yes but she thinks that she should let me go. She said she doesn't want it but she should. At the end of the day, she doesn't want to let me go anymore because she loves me so much. I am really bothered and don't want to make it happen again so I want to ask what should I do. I am 20 years old and she's 22. I hope that someday, we will be with each other... Thank you for your time, I'm from Philippines by the way and she's from S.Korea Link to post Share on other sites
Omei Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 You guys should get temporary weekend jobs together to start visits. Its not hard, be a dishwasher whatever job is very easy to get. You would be surprised as to how much money you can save by just working part-time on Sat/Sun 4 hours a day for 2 months or Full-time hours 8 hours a day Sat/Sun. It shouldn't be a problem with school if you do this. I have had many weekend jobs to save up to see my SO. If you have the motovation/will power to make this effort to see them it should be a breeze. I do this often, weekend work thing to save up extra money to see my SO and its well worth it when the time comes whenever I feel like giving up I just remember the time we shared and I get right back into the mood work work work gotta see him!!! YOU CAN DO IT! Link to post Share on other sites
aerogurl87 Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 I agree with Omei, your 22 get a job. Some part time work or something. I work part time currently because 1) finding a full time job where I live is near impossible with our crappy job market and 2) it gives me the time off to go see my boyfriend easily. You can do that AND go to school. And if you really want this relationship to work, use that as motivation to work. I know my boyfriend works he says thinking about how his job will help make us being together easier, it pushes him to keep going. It's the same for me as well. Link to post Share on other sites
madjac74 Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 I love you after a week?! C'mon man! You are 20 and getting an allowance. I would suggest growing up first before ever trying a relationship..let alone a long distance one. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Thoncz Posted October 6, 2010 Author Share Posted October 6, 2010 Is it wrong to love after a week? I admit that when I first met her, It's not really my intention to court her. It's just like I just want her to fall for me for fun. But as I really get to know her more everyday, its like I really knew her a long time ago and it made me feel i'm not doing this for fun anymore. I'm actually courting someone when I met her. That someone was the woman i'm courting for like 8 months already and she's my friend for like 2 years. She told me that we can be together and form a relationship after we finish our studies. I left this woman just for the woman I knew for just over a week. Its my choice and I don't regret anything. Many of our friends became mad at me after they knew I already have a girlfriend. But what can I do, I can't lie to myself. Link to post Share on other sites
ezrajames Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 If seeing her is what you truly want, then you can make it happen. Like others have said, get a part-time job and save enough money until you can see her. Skype is a good way to keep you on her mind, just don't overdo it. As long as it's fun for each of you, keep it up. Link to post Share on other sites
aerogurl87 Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 I love you after a week?! C'mon man! You are 20 and getting an allowance. I would suggest growing up first before ever trying a relationship..let alone a long distance one. Ok I can agree with the being 20 and getting an allowance, but what's wrong with saying I love you after a week? Some people know how they feel sooner than others. Hell my boyfriend told me he loved me after a week and here we are 8 months later, still happy. Link to post Share on other sites
aerogurl87 Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 Is it wrong to love after a week? I admit that when I first met her, It's not really my intention to court her. It's just like I just want her to fall for me for fun. But as I really get to know her more everyday, its like I really knew her a long time ago and it made me feel i'm not doing this for fun anymore. I'm actually courting someone when I met her. That someone was the woman i'm courting for like 8 months already and she's my friend for like 2 years. She told me that we can be together and form a relationship after we finish our studies. I left this woman just for the woman I knew for just over a week. Its my choice and I don't regret anything. Many of our friends became mad at me after they knew I already have a girlfriend. But what can I do, I can't lie to myself. So let me get this straight, you were dating a girl for 8 months and then while you were dating her you met your new girlfriend. Then you left her after a week with being with this new girl? I see red flags of a serial monogamist. Maybe you should rethink if this is really love or is this just you being in love with the idea of love and having that "oh brand new love interest" feeling. My ex was like this when we first got to together, although I didn't realize it till later on into our relationship. After his girlfriend went on vacation for a week, he dumped her, found me and started dating me claiming he loved me, blah blah blah until he met the next woman who made him feel "alive" came along and he left me for her. Just something to think about. Link to post Share on other sites
madjac74 Posted October 7, 2010 Share Posted October 7, 2010 Ok I can agree with the being 20 and getting an allowance, but what's wrong with saying I love you after a week? Some people know how they feel sooner than others. Hell my boyfriend told me he loved me after a week and here we are 8 months later, still happy. I suppose there's nothing wrong with it but I just feel its a ridiculous claim after just one week. It's probably likely said out of infatuation, passion, heat of the moment especially when you are young. I just think the word is thrown around to loosely and has little to do with true love. It's very easy to say I love you during an orgasm. Or in this case...young people kissing. Link to post Share on other sites
aerogurl87 Posted October 7, 2010 Share Posted October 7, 2010 I suppose there's nothing wrong with it but I just feel its a ridiculous claim after just one week. It's probably likely said out of infatuation, passion, heat of the moment especially when you are young. I just think the word is thrown around to loosely and has little to do with true love. It's very easy to say I love you during an orgasm. Or in this case...young people kissing. Mmk, well I can respect that. My boyfriend told me he loved me because he loved who I was as a person, not that he was in love with me yet. So to me it made sense. And sadly it is thrown around alot nowadays. Link to post Share on other sites
madjac74 Posted October 7, 2010 Share Posted October 7, 2010 Aerogurl I mean no disrespect. I was speaking in general and there are always exceptions. I see you on here alot so obviously you have a strong dedicated LDR and I enjoy and respect your opinions on LDR. Im only speaking of the people who come and go on here with problems who seem to be college students and dont know the first thing about love. Link to post Share on other sites
aerogurl87 Posted October 7, 2010 Share Posted October 7, 2010 Aerogurl I mean no disrespect. I was speaking in general and there are always exceptions. I see you on here alot so obviously you have a strong dedicated LDR and I enjoy and respect your opinions on LDR. Im only speaking of the people who come and go on here with problems who seem to be college students and dont know the first thing about love. It's fine, I know you meant no disrespect. But the OP strikes me as a serial monogamist who is always in search of that high of being in love for the first time. And yes I know exactly what type of people you are talking about. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Thoncz Posted October 7, 2010 Author Share Posted October 7, 2010 Aerogurl I mean no disrespect. I was speaking in general and there are always exceptions. I see you on here alot so obviously you have a strong dedicated LDR and I enjoy and respect your opinions on LDR. Im only speaking of the people who come and go on here with problems who seem to be college students and dont know the first thing about love. Hi there In my opinion, even though i'm young, age does not say when and where we'll gonna be in love. Yes, I just said it as an infatuation. I said it was just my intention just to have fun. You would even find it more ridiculous if you happen to find out that I just bargained with her to let me be her boyfriend for 1 week before she leave. She ridiculously laughed and said, "Okay but we have to break up before I leave", we both agreed in that condition. We were really having fun with each other but it really grew intimately. She told me she really hated being here because of unlucky things that happened to her along with being far from her family. Like she met an accident, the weather is too hot (it was summer when she came here) and a lot of things. She told me she really wanted to go back to her country right away the moment she stepped on mine lol Before she leave to go back to her home country, she's crying like there is no tomorrow. She said she found a reason to stay here but she can't. I even asked her "So, do we have to break up now?" She cried more and said she doesn't want and gave me all her contacts along with her address. When I see this fruit (Which only grow in my country, her favorite fruit), I always remember her because I always see her eating it and asking me to taste it too with her forcibly XD @ aerogurl87, I didn't really dump her. She was never mine to begin with. We had no commitments whatsoever. She's dating also some other guy and just told me we can start a relationship after we graduate. The girl I met for only a week is my third girlfriend hoping she would be the last. Link to post Share on other sites
aerogurl87 Posted October 7, 2010 Share Posted October 7, 2010 Hi there In my opinion, even though i'm young, age does not say when and where we'll gonna be in love. Yes, I just said it as an infatuation. I said it was just my intention just to have fun. You would even find it more ridiculous if you happen to find out that I just bargained with her to let me be her boyfriend for 1 week before she leave. She ridiculously laughed and said, "Okay but we have to break up before I leave", we both agreed in that condition. We were really having fun with each other but it really grew intimately. She told me she really hated being here because of unlucky things that happened to her along with being far from her family. Like she met an accident, the weather is too hot (it was summer when she came here) and a lot of things. She told me she really wanted to go back to her country right away the moment she stepped on mine lol Before she leave to go back to her home country, she's crying like there is no tomorrow. She said she found a reason to stay here but she can't. I even asked her "So, do we have to break up now?" She cried more and said she doesn't want and gave me all her contacts along with her address. When I see this fruit (Which only grow in my country, her favorite fruit), I always remember her because I always see her eating it and asking me to taste it too with her forcibly XD @ aerogurl87, I didn't really dump her. She was never mine to begin with. We had no commitments whatsoever. She's dating also some other guy and just told me we can start a relationship after we graduate. The girl I met for only a week is my third girlfriend hoping she would be the last. In my honest opinion this is not love, this is infatuation and you have alot of growing to do emotionally before you can truly know what real love is. I'm also 20 and my boyfriend is 18, but if he were to have just told me he loved me for kicks, I wouldn't take him seriously as a potential partner. You need to grow up, more than likely this is just puppy love that you experienced, lust at first sight. Now I could be wrong, but from everything you've written this doesn't seem like it could last. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Thoncz Posted October 7, 2010 Author Share Posted October 7, 2010 So, how can you tell if a person is really in love? In my honest opinion, somebody just can't. Link to post Share on other sites
madjac74 Posted October 7, 2010 Share Posted October 7, 2010 So, how can you tell if a person is really in love? In my honest opinion, somebody just can't. Well it certainly isnt this relationship. Everytime you post this gets more ridiculous! She is dating someone but she will have a relationship with you after you graduate?! I'm trying to determine if you guys are actually in college or kindergarten. I'm going to stick with my previous "grow up" Link to post Share on other sites
Author Thoncz Posted October 8, 2010 Author Share Posted October 8, 2010 @ madjac74, I agree with you on growing up. For I knew myself that I still has some childlike attitude. They're woman after all, we won't be able to tell what they're thinking. @ aerogurl87, Lust at first sight? Yes I agree, i'm a man after all. There were 2 girls whom I'm courting before I met her. I knew them for years. There would be a time whom I will go out with either of them. Then I suddenly cut my ties and stopped saying I love you to them after I met "The woman who became my girlfriend in one week". Now that she's far away from me, I can easily court and get other woman if I wanted. But of course, I won't. I just can't summarize all in one post. I believe that infatuation is the liking of someone for a reason whether for beauty, for lust etc.. I can't even touch, kiss nor hug her for 6 months now but I still feel the same way when we were together. But after all, we all started with puppy love and I believe that time can only be the one who can identify and define what love is. Link to post Share on other sites
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