about my friend

[Dubbayoobee]

Hello everyone, this is my first time posting and have a dilemma my friends either can't answer or refuse to talk about, so I thought some of you all might have some good insight for me.

I have a good female friend I've known for about a year. I was recently dumped by someone I thought loved me, and my friend and I have begun to spend more time together in the last five months or so.

Some background: she is always calling or testing me to meet at another friend's restaurant. When she hugs me good-bye it's a bit longer than usual -- longer than hugs she gives other guy friends. In the last couple months we've gone to movies and friend's parties together. She jumped at the chance to help me clean out my yard recently, among other events like my own birthday.

On Sept. 1 I had a life-altering surgery. For a solid week before my operation she was inviting me to dinner, and she spent an evening watching movies with me the night before my big day. Again, she said good bye and gave me a long warm hug.

Now, she visited me in the hospital two days after my procedure, and the hugs were there again. However, she had to leave the room for five minutes while my nurse changed my surgical wound dressings. In that five minutes she met a male nurse outside my room and they started dating. That was a month ago and I barely heard from her.

A few weeks after my surgery I was rushed to the ER because I developed an infection I shouldn't have. I've been in the hospital two weeks, and she shows up out of the blue to visit me.

This time she gives me the usual long and warm hug, but she kisses me on the corner of my lips for a long time.

My nurse has her leave the room to change my wound dressings, and when she comes back she repeats the hug and kiss, for a bit longer.

We sit and watch TV like friends. The discussion turns to the painkillers I'm on and she gets worried I'm going to overdose. I explain I'm fine and place my hand on her leg to reassure her, and she holds my hand for a few minutes.

Anyway, soon she has to leave, so she gives me the long warm hug and I think she tried to kiss me right on the lips, but instead went back to the corner of them, and for a bit longer again.

Now, she's still dating that male nurse and I'm confused as to why shed act like this with me. She's always been friendly but not THAT friendly with me. She also hasn't directly told me she's seeing anyone, as I had to hear it from a friend.

So what gives. After being severely hurt earlier this year in my previous relationship, I'm having a hard time believing my friend likes me as more than a friend. My ex treated me the same way in the beginning, so right now I have trust issues.

I do like my friend and would love to be more than that with her, but I don't want to get the "just friends" speech again and have my heart broken yet another time. Especially since she's dating another guy. Why would she act like that with me?

Has anyone had a similar experience and can offer any advice?

 

Thanks and sorry for the lengthy first post!