StreetDog Posted October 5, 2010 Share Posted October 5, 2010 It's strange. Granted, I'm not super close with my Dad, he's always been a quirky kinda guy who has always had trouble telling me he loves me, a depressive at times, etc. Anyway, he's been single for so long, I think at his age (56) he just doesn't want to be lonely. SO, he's been pursuing this woman he met and she's for the longest time been clear that she doesn't want a relationship, but my Dad has persisted. They've done a lot of things as friends but he's not been super open about it with me. So, the other day he tells me he asked her to marry him. I think he did it on an impulse. She said yes. I'm not super stoked about the whole idea, i mean it's his life, he should do what he wants, but here's a woman that didn't want to be close now she's taking his hand in marriage? And i'm not 100% sure HE even knows what he's in for, he's been a single bachelor for a long time. Anyway, knowing he's a depressive type & sensitive, I didn't say anything negative about it when he told me (even though i have my negative thoughts about it all) because who am I to judge? But he's not understanding now why some of his family are not reacting to this news with open arms...it's because they think its bizarre as well. He doesn't get why people think it's strange that a woman who kept keeping him hanging and didn't want to be intimate, all the sudden is In Love with him and wants marriage and a house with him. He also doesn't think it's a big deal that everytime i've asked about them two, he always said "no were just friends"... Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted October 5, 2010 Share Posted October 5, 2010 I think at a certain age, people grow tired of being alone and lonely, and settle on the idea that marriage will cure that. On the one hand, if he and this woman have known each other for a good long while, and started out as friends, that's a very positive factor, because a solid friendship in any longterm romantic relationship is important. But that is assuming that she and your dad *have* a romantic element to their relationship. They might genuinely be willing to do everything necessary make a marriage work based on that friendship, starting at a point where it's taken most of us many, many years to to get to, you know? on the other hand, marriage is such a serious commitment, and I understand your concern for your dad. Maybe it's time to get to know her better to get a better feel for their relationship. What sounds peculiar to you as his young son might become less so when you see the dynamics between them, and you'll realize that a marriage based on companionship can be a strong one when both parties are committed to it. as for her initial refusal to marry: I'm guessing that if your dad's 50-something, she's relatively close in age, and has been burnt by relationships before. And could very well be fighting against the idea because of she doesn't want the status quo to change. As a long-time married woman in a fairly strong relationship, I understand completely why someone wouldn't want to do it again, even if the marriage was enjoyable ... and why the idea of making a life with someone whose company you already enjoy because they *are* a friend could be appealing ... you're a good son for being so concerned about your dad Link to post Share on other sites
Author StreetDog Posted October 5, 2010 Author Share Posted October 5, 2010 thanks Quankanne. Yeah, I guess I just worry because I don't think my Father "thinks" hard about his actions. He just does things and is in a lot of ways out-of-touch with the way you are supposed to do things. Doing things the "right" way is all left up to interpretation by the individual, i know and i'm not one to judge like i said. But I don't know how to explain to him WHY everyone thinks it's weird. He seriously doesn't understand why it's strange to everyone when he's moving so fast and now looking into buying a new house and changing his accounts around so quickly. I've never really met this woman properly and neither have a lot of our family and he doesn't get why everyone isn't jumping for joy about the news. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted October 5, 2010 Share Posted October 5, 2010 do you think someone can arrange a family BBQ or similar casual meal so they can spend time getting to know this woman better? or, as bad as it sounds, if you've got a family member who is a law enforcement agent or detective ... or who has a little bit of time on their hands and knows how to look up information ... check out the woman's background. I know this sounds sneaky, but it might give you peace of mind, esp. with your dad being the one in question. Link to post Share on other sites
FanFan Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 I've never really met this woman properly and neither have a lot of our family and he doesn't get why everyone isn't jumping for joy about the news. Does your dad have money? How did they meet? What do they do when they hang out togther? Link to post Share on other sites
wilsonjack66 Posted October 13, 2010 Share Posted October 13, 2010 you must understand your dad... he really needs someone...and if this woman is making him happy, you should be happy too... you need to understand that we have only one life and we must enjoy our time ... Link to post Share on other sites
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