another man trying to take my gf

[Allisha]

I love a little mud slinging between members!

 

Ocn, you keep blaming this on the OM. If it wasn't him, it would be another guy. You had your chance, you didn't pull through for whatever reason. She decided to leave you. That's just the way love and life works. Sorry, but you're out Bro. Move on.

 

Well, seeing as they're still sleeping together, he's not technically out really, is he?

 

Apparently that's just too tough to give up.

 

I really enjoy giving advice on this forum, but people who come on here asking for advice when they're not doing *anything* to help themselves are just annoying.

[lkjh]

I know it was my inaction, as I stated before but that's no justification for resolving a problem by talking to another man. so if that's what you want to believe even though I've stated otherwise that's your own comprehension issue. I've never thought it was acceptable to end a relationship by beginning another - you may think its ok. she had a revelation today and decided it was wrong to talk to this clown. he was just a symptom of our problem. i don't know how it will work out, at this point we both need some time. there was some damage done but I don't believe all is lost and I am not quite 'out' yet either.

 

 

 

Dude you need to learn to take criticism a little better. You claim to be in your mid-30's but you act like a immature 13 year old school girl.

 

 

Nobody is saying its ok for her to talk to the OM. We are pointing out the real reason she is done with you. You want to believe that the OM is the problem and she is 100% wrong in this situation but your actions are very much responsible for all of this. You are not 100% to blame but you are the reason she is leaving you not the OM.

 

 

Grow up and stop acting like a 35 year old guy who still plays video games and watches the Simpsons

[lkjh]

Have you realized that you argue with everyone but the one guy that clearly has a personal issue with women.

 

Most of us are trying to give you real advice but you just get all angry. What do you want us to tell you? That she a bitch and should have waited 30 years until you decided to man up and take the next step?

[Don Ho]

I know it was my inaction, as I stated before but that's no justification for resolving a problem by talking to another man. so if that's what you want to believe even though I've stated otherwise that's your own comprehension issue. I've never thought it was acceptable to end a relationship by beginning another - you may think its ok. she had a revelation today and decided it was wrong to talk to this clown. he was just a symptom of our problem. i don't know how it will work out, at this point we both need some time. there was some damage done but I don't believe all is lost and I am not quite 'out' yet either.

 

Actually your thread is titled "another man trying to take my gf". You said you wanted him out of the pic and then it would be ok with her. She is "resolving a problem by talking to another man?" She broke up with you and is now seeing someone else. I am comprehending the situation perfectly. She decided "it was wrong to talk to this clown"? Thought she was having sex with him. Bro that's fine by me if you don't think it's not all lost, I just don't think she's coming back or that it will work out. Nothing for you to get hostile about, everyone's just giving you their opinion.

[spiderowl]

Seems to me the other guy is not the problem but that your girlfriend's feelings have changed. You have been with her and lived with her a long time. If she wanted marriage, why did you stay with her when you didn't see the necessity for that commitment, knowing she did? I should think she got fed up of waiting for you to be romantic and ask her and has decided that she wants someone who will give that freely. It may not be him - the current rival you are concerned about - but perhaps someone else.

 

You said the pressure was on you, which suggests you knew she wanted to get married so why did you ignore it? Why put her in the embarassing and humiliating position of setting you a deadline? No woman is going to want to force their partner to give a commitment they should be happy to give. I would say your behaviour was thoughtless and withholding. You denied her those special, memorable moments and that commitment. If she's given up on you, I think you only have yourself to blame. She needs someone different who does want marriage and commitment. You will be free to find someone who does not want or need marriage. You will have achieved that freedom by default. There's little point blaming another guy for trying to take your girlfriend away when it's her choice to opt out.

 

As to what you can do, that's a difficult one. Her feelings may well have changed so it's probably too late. Do you want to marry her, to have that commitment? If not, let her go, because this isn't something people can compromise over. If you do want to marry her, you'd need to make it clear to her that that was your intention but it didn't seem the right time. Maybe she'll believe it.