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[kl02002]

I am sorry to whomever may read this, i really have a lot of my mind this is my first time on here and i just want to get this off my chest before i make a decision that i regret.

 

Recently i have made accustations that my husband is cheating, maybe not necessarily physically but maybe emotionally online etc, and it came down to two days after we got married that if i don't change my ways we cannot be together. im scared now maybe i wrongly accused him all these times, i thought i had significant evidence but he always seemed to have a somewhat logical excuse.

 

and now again something came up, and i so bad wanna flip through his phone i think he sent me a text he meant to text to someone else about meeting up and plus when he came home he was dressed in regular clothes saying it was cold out and that is why. I wanna believe him i don't want to bring something up especially if i am wrong again. I don't know if maybe he is just scared to tell me he went and hung out with a girl after work from work cuz i get so jealous. I don't know and what would i do if i find it, if i dare bring anything up i will not have a husband anymore. i know it. but now i am all in my head because i fear that because he knows that i won't question him anymore i fear he can do whatever and not worry because i don't wanna lose him. I really dont think he is cheating maybe just hanging i dont know i hate the way i feel, i hate the way i think i create ridiculous scenarios in my head, sometimes even i know they are whacked. I love him so much, i never have been cheated on so i don't know why i am so worried but i just cannot stop thinking about if something little comes up. I always thinks its something big like oh this time i have a right to be worried but it seems like i never do. i sorry i know this is a bunch of mumble and I don't expect anyone to reply i just needed to right before i ruin what i have with my husband for what hopefully maybe no reason!

[pureinheart]

I am sorry to whomever may read this, i really have a lot of my mind this is my first time on here and i just want to get this off my chest before i make a decision that i regret.

 

Recently i have made accustations that my husband is cheating, maybe not necessarily physically but maybe emotionally online etc, and it came down to two days after we got married that if i don't change my ways we cannot be together. im scared now maybe i wrongly accused him all these times, i thought i had significant evidence but he always seemed to have a somewhat logical excuse.

 

and now again something came up, and i so bad wanna flip through his phone i think he sent me a text he meant to text to someone else about meeting up and plus when he came home he was dressed in regular clothes saying it was cold out and that is why. I wanna believe him i don't want to bring something up especially if i am wrong again. I don't know if maybe he is just scared to tell me he went and hung out with a girl after work from work cuz i get so jealous. I don't know and what would i do if i find it, if i dare bring anything up i will not have a husband anymore. i know it. but now i am all in my head because i fear that because he knows that i won't question him anymore i fear he can do whatever and not worry because i don't wanna lose him. I really dont think he is cheating maybe just hanging i dont know i hate the way i feel, i hate the way i think i create ridiculous scenarios in my head, sometimes even i know they are whacked. I love him so much, i never have been cheated on so i don't know why i am so worried but i just cannot stop thinking about if something little comes up. I always thinks its something big like oh this time i have a right to be worried but it seems like i never do. i sorry i know this is a bunch of mumble and I don't expect anyone to reply i just needed to right before i ruin what i have with my husband for what hopefully maybe no reason!

 

Wow, where to begin...ok take a deep breath KL, you are trippin hard girl.

 

Yes we can drive a person nuts with continued accusations, although if this man REALLY loves you he will understand. It is hard not to be trusted, yet with the world as it is today he should be understanding towards that.

 

Now for 20 questions:

 

Have you been cheated on in the past? You seem hypersensitive to this possible issue.

 

FTR, it is not a bunch of mumble, I have been where you are.

 

I sure hope I say this the way I am hearing the answer in my head...

 

You have two possible outcomes:

 

He is cheating. He is not cheating. Let me say this, I had a friend that once asked me, "if you didn't die over it, it can't be that bad, right?"...so if he is cheating, you will live. If he is not cheating you will live also...see what I'm getting at?

 

My advice would be is to let go of the torment and be at peace, you need it. If he is cheating, then what really can you change...nothing..you just go from there, period.

 

It sounds to me like your whole existance is wrapped up in if he is cheating and will leave you, if you accuse him too much, he will leave you...I'd say you might have abandonment issues.

 

I truly believe that if you give a person enough rope they will eventually hang themselves....

 

I used to trip in R's bigtime, now I'm so laid back it's not even funny...it's not that I don't care, although I've learned a lot from the many R I've been involved in, and in each of them, I could change NOTHING. I cannot control another person, and don't want to anymore.

 

My suggestion would be to slow down and just be a good W and do what you are supposed to do and chances are he will follow suit...also men find women with their own identity extremely attractive, and that is what you want to be for your H...the best you can be...confident, loving, happy, attractive....hey instead of tripping on what might be happening, spend that precious time making yourself better...it's a win-win sitch either way:)...please keep posting and welcome to LS:) ((((((((hugs, and good luck))))))...love yourself!

Edited October 6, 2010 by pureinheart