should I be hurting like this?

[sylvania]

I need some advice, My ex b/f and I have been on and off for 7-8 yrs. The last year his drinking started to get out of hand so did the relationship. I started the detachment process thinking this would help with the end of the relationship. Things went from bad to worse over this year but we all ways stayed in contact via phone or he would stop by. Anyway in January 04 he told me he was seeing someone, that he didn't care for her but he was lonely. I was very surprised but continued to tell him I can't be in the relationship with his heavy drinking no matter what. So he decided to go for her. I haven't seen or spoke to the man in over a month and I 'm surprised how much I'm hurting. I feel lost, guilty, fearful of my future. I don't have another guy to fall back on and I don't feel I am ready to date. Why do I feel soo bad and how long will this last?

[asilisa]

My ex-boyfriend was into drugs and it all got to be too much. So I understand how you feel, you love that person but it is harming/hurting you to be with him. Well you probably know this already but you did and are doing the right thing. Well its normal for you to be hurting like you are. When i got out of my relationship I also wasn't ready for another, so I was alone. My situation probably was alittle easier because my ex went to jail not another women. But to take away from the pain I just started doing things that I hadn't been able to do because I spent a lot of time with him. It made me feel better, like I was really taking time out for myself. Maybe you should surround yourself with friends and family this also made me feel better. Sooner or later you'll meet guys, maybe just guys that you may want to date but not become serious with. That is what I did, but then I met someone I wanted to become serious with. I personally feel I should have given myself more time, but what can you do? Basically it'll take time to get over him especially since you guys went out so long, but in the end it'll be worth it. Just do things that you haven't been able to do and hang out with friends and family. With time you will be feelings better.