Untouchable_Fire Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 Not by what I have read. And I'm also glad I dont live on this forum enough to know all the details like that. Does that happen to you alot? Bring a nice date back to your place for a nightcap, and find to your amazement that the gender is just all wrong? If this is the case... start a thread for it and I can provide you some really good tips in how to tell the difference! Seriously... I have a 100% success rate at making sure it's a woman... er... at least as far as I know... Link to post Share on other sites
Crazy Magnet Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 Kickintheaz: My current SO let his last relationship develop "organically" and about a year in he figured out she was completely opposed to marriage and children where as his main goal in finding a partner was marriage and children. He stayed another 2 years hoping she would change her mind or they could find a compromise and meet in the middle (like living together) and they both ended up resenting each other and having a miserable 2 years of the relationship. Not to mention they both wasted three years with a partner that was not what either one was looking for. He was stupid for staying but so was she. I personally can't complain as all his wasted time with her served as a place holder for me!! That whole thing would have been avoided if they spent less time looking at their personality compatibility and more time discerning their romantic compatibility. It takes both kinds to make a relationship work. I personally don't feel like wasting my "organic" time by having to wait a year to "see" if some guy fancies marriage. I want to get married and if the guy doesn't I can next him because there are plenty of men who do want marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
EasyHeart Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 If you're looking for a LTR, I would think you'd want to know the other person's objectives ASAP, since you don't want to waste time with someone who is incompatible with you. But if you're not looking for a LTR, I can see why you would want to put off that discussion as long as possible, because you can get everything you want by avoiding the discussion. And of course, just because I'm looking for a LTR, doesn't necessarily mean I want one with YOU. . . . Link to post Share on other sites
make me believe Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 I don't think there's anything wrong with bringing up your intentions within the first few dates. In fact, I think it's the smart thing to do. I told my boyfriend on our 3rd date that I was looking for a serious, long-term relationship that would eventually lead to marriage. He was a bit taken back because he wasn't used to girls being upfront like that. But you can waste a LOT of time skirting around the issue and I knew that I didn't want to waste my time on somebody who wasn't looking for the same thing I was. If my BF had gotten freaked out or put me in the "desperate" category just because I was clear about my *general* expectations (as EasyHeart said, just because someone wants an LTR doesn't mean they want one with you specifically), that would have been my cue to move onto somebody more compatible. If you're looking for a relationship, dating is about testing compatability. Desires for the future are a HUGE compatability issue. Do you want to get attached to somebody and then later on find out that there is some glaring incompatability, like you want to have 3 kids and he/she never wants to have any? It's best to just get things like that out in the open, IMO. Link to post Share on other sites
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