Depression

[loverboy1122]

Hi there,

I am an indian male (21yrs old) and I have been best friends with this girl (white, 21yrs old) for the past several months. Ive known of her prior to that but never really hung out or spent time together. I became best friends with this girl while i was still in a relationship, and so was she. But, both of us ended our relationships about 2 months ago. She still feels hurt from her previous relationship and Ive slowly gotten over mine. Especially, in the last 2 months, we have been hanging out together all the time!! Brkfst, lunch, dinner, classes, studying, working out, even late night ice cream. Ive talked to her about our other friend who jumped into a relationship and is moving at lightning speed...and both of us agree that relationship should take time b4 it moves to a whole new level...soo in that sense we have a lot in common with each other. I will be attending medical school next year and she is going to do her PhD in biology next year as well. Ive seriously have fallen for her. Shes sooo innocent, kind, caring, fragile and it breaks my heart to think how bad she was treated in her previous relationship. She says she will never want to date again, but i know deep down she wants someone on an extra level.

 

Just recently, I have fallen in love with her sooo much that its rlly scary. Ive tried to control myself one day by not going to brkfst lunch or dinner one day and that evening she started crying that i didnt talk to her. I then told her that I value her too much to be mad at her...but i didnt tell her that i have feelings for her.

 

Ever since then, shes acting more "into" me. for ex, shes texts me all the time regarding brkfst lunch and dinner. she always tries to do things i want to do...more than before.

 

Shes also asked me why i look depressed/confused. She has told me that I am her best friend and she values me a lot.

 

I really want to tell her how i feel b/c i want to be true to her and myself. I cannot keep hiding what i feel about her...b/c its eating me inside out. Please give me any advice on what to do and how to tell her how i feel about her.

 

Sorry about the loooong story...but I would really really really appreciate it if i could use some advice. PLEASEE!!!

[Allisha]

Hi there,

I am an indian male (21yrs old) and I have been best friends with this girl (white, 21yrs old) for the past several months. Ive known of her prior to that but never really hung out or spent time together. I became best friends with this girl while i was still in a relationship, and so was she. But, both of us ended our relationships about 2 months ago. She still feels hurt from her previous relationship and Ive slowly gotten over mine. Especially, in the last 2 months, we have been hanging out together all the time!! Brkfst, lunch, dinner, classes, studying, working out, even late night ice cream. Ive talked to her about our other friend who jumped into a relationship and is moving at lightning speed...and both of us agree that relationship should take time b4 it moves to a whole new level...soo in that sense we have a lot in common with each other. I will be attending medical school next year and she is going to do her PhD in biology next year as well. Ive seriously have fallen for her. Shes sooo innocent, kind, caring, fragile and it breaks my heart to think how bad she was treated in her previous relationship. She says she will never want to date again, but i know deep down she wants someone on an extra level.

 

Just recently, I have fallen in love with her sooo much that its rlly scary. Ive tried to control myself one day by not going to brkfst lunch or dinner one day and that evening she started crying that i didnt talk to her. I then told her that I value her too much to be mad at her...but i didnt tell her that i have feelings for her.

 

Ever since then, shes acting more "into" me. for ex, shes texts me all the time regarding brkfst lunch and dinner. she always tries to do things i want to do...more than before.

 

Shes also asked me why i look depressed/confused. She has told me that I am her best friend and she values me a lot.

 

I really want to tell her how i feel b/c i want to be true to her and myself. I cannot keep hiding what i feel about her...b/c its eating me inside out. Please give me any advice on what to do and how to tell her how i feel about her.

 

Sorry about the loooong story...but I would really really really appreciate it if i could use some advice. PLEASEE!!!

 

 

I'm pretty sure everyone who has read this is going to agree with me on this one...

 

You have to talk to her about this. That's the only advice I can give you.

 

To me, there are a few outcomes of talking to her, and one if you don't:

 

- TALK TO HER: she feels the same way. You ask her out.

- TALK TO HER: she doesn't feel the same way, but loves you enough as a friend (if she's really that amazing) to give you space in order for you to get over her.

- DO NOT TALK TO HER: you're gonna end up so depressed you'll begin to resent being around her & dreading her company because you're secretly longing for her. I think it could ruin your friendship in the long run.

 

..Tell her.

Edited October 7, 2010 by Allisha

[alwaysthinking]

I agree- you should tell her. It sounds like she really cares about you- you never know what feelings she may be harboring. I don't think you have anything to lose by telling her- anything is better than being so torn up inside.

[Teknoe]

Go for it brother. Worst is she says no and you take some time to recover, and then if possible, move on as friends.

 

Worst possible thing is to do nothing, because she might never initiate, it's the man's job.