Fluffsticle Posted October 7, 2010 Share Posted October 7, 2010 Hi Folks, Going through some stuff in my life, and trying to let go of my past... I am wondering what the belief is in fate here? Like a lot of People on here, hope, and worry, and try to do things to win their other halves back... Really, does any of this play a part in the grand scale of things? Does any of it really help? Do you believe if something is ment for you then it won't pass you by regardless of what we do to mess it up, what we do to push them away, and what we do to make them happy? Any thoughts...? Anyone experienced anything that they believed to be true fate? I believe in fate, maybe I'd like reassurance that I'm not the only one :-) Link to post Share on other sites
Scottdmw Posted October 7, 2010 Share Posted October 7, 2010 I believe that people can and do “mess up” good things they had a chance at having. I don't think there is any such thing as fate that means you will surely get something. I think that some people use ideas like this to tell themselves that whatever ended up happening was meant to happen, and let themselves off the hook for bad decisions, thus failing to learn to do better the next time. In your case, it sounds like you are pondering the end of a relationship and feeling like maybe you caused it to end. Well, maybe you did, and maybe you didn't. I think you'd be better served by trying to understand how you may have contributed to the end of a relationship, rather than convincing yourself that it was somehow inevitable. You do have to strike a balance though and not beat yourself up too much for things that you can't change now. I also think that people use ideas about fate as an excuse to be passive and not try to make their lives better through action. A person tells themselves that if something is meant to happen it will, therefore there's no need for them to do anything difficult for it to happen. I think these kind of ideas are very damaging to people. I'm sorry if all that doesn't sound very reassuring, it sounds like you are looking for reassurance. I don't mean to be cruel. But, I think you would be better off to deal directly with whatever it is that happened. If it's something you feel guilty about try to make amends or apologize even if you can't really fix it. If it's something you regret try to either fix it or at least go forward towards what you want actively. It is definitely important to let go of your past, but you can do that without believing in some kind of fate that makes you feel like you don't have to do anything. Scott Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fluffsticle Posted October 7, 2010 Author Share Posted October 7, 2010 Hi Scott... Thanks for replying. I posted a thread in second chances section, if you wanted to look! I guess my interest in fate is really if I let someone go easily, because they seem to be thinking negatively. If it was ment to be would it still pass me by... I just wanted to see peoples views on the matter. I never want to force anything. I will work and work. But if someone says they don't want me. I won't question. I will just accept. I don't know if I give up too easily or if this is what everyone does!! Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Crazy4what Posted October 7, 2010 Share Posted October 7, 2010 I dont regret any force decision I made to make my relationship work with my wife. She also did the same thing even If I had an affair multiple times. She just stick by me. We have so much fun together even with lots of challenges and years of being together. We try to find ways to work things out. Now... its not me who had an affair its her now... so I guess its up to me to continue, she had her own reason of doing it. I forgive her. I eat my pride coz I know shes worth it. But I guess patience is key. Right timing, good conversation, good communication. not everyone is the same tho. 8 yrs of marriage (Now separated) first time.... not sure how long it will last but I'll keep my hopes up. hehe... Something in life is just worth fighting for I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted October 8, 2010 Share Posted October 8, 2010 I used to believe in fate, but not anymore Link to post Share on other sites
Jannah Posted October 8, 2010 Share Posted October 8, 2010 I believe in fate but I also believe in free will. Link to post Share on other sites
shayan Posted October 8, 2010 Share Posted October 8, 2010 My friend, Every person comes into your life for a reason. Often times relationships especially those which end abruptly are more there to point out personal insecurities and to harbor change and growth in the individual experiencing them. There is fate my friend, have no doubt that there is more to this world than what you can imagine and that not everything is purely coincidence. Learn from your loss, mourn it, and live! Link to post Share on other sites
Disillusioned Posted October 8, 2010 Share Posted October 8, 2010 "Difficult to see. Always in motion the future is."---Yoda to Luke Skywalker "This is the mirror of Galadriel. It shows things that were, things that are, and things that yet may be. Some things never come to pass, unless we turn aside to prevent them. The mirror is dangerous as a guide of deeds."---Lady Galadriel to Frodo Baggins Link to post Share on other sites
Rashad Posted October 8, 2010 Share Posted October 8, 2010 FATE is not in what YOU do... FATE is in what happens to you. If you kill somebody, it's not fate.. you made a choice! If somebody kills you, it's fate... you did not make a choice. Link to post Share on other sites
hellhathnofury Posted October 8, 2010 Share Posted October 8, 2010 The word 'Fate' has its original roots in the ancient Latin word 'fatum' - 'that which has been spoken.' So whatever word follows your mental decision, whatever you say will happen - will happen. Wasn't it Henry Ford who said, "whether you think you can, or whether you think you can't, you're right"...? What you think, you become. Fate is decreed first by what you think, then by what you declare. If you tell yourself something is doomed then guess what? You're right. If you tell yourself you're a survivor, then guess what? You're right. Link to post Share on other sites
Disillusioned Posted October 8, 2010 Share Posted October 8, 2010 Almost makes me want to become a new superhero---the Karma Enforcer! In his trenchcoat and fedora hat, Karma Enforcer uses his silencer-equipped pistol to help jaywalkers, foul-mouthed people, and other evildoers get what's coming to them! Muhahahahaaaa!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fluffsticle Posted October 8, 2010 Author Share Posted October 8, 2010 Disillusioned This poor little Irish Girl doesn't have the foggiest what you're on about!! Thanks though... I think :-) Link to post Share on other sites
hellhathnofury Posted October 8, 2010 Share Posted October 8, 2010 He's disillusioned. What do you expect? :laugh: Link to post Share on other sites
lonelygirl23 Posted October 17, 2010 Share Posted October 17, 2010 I believe that fate can open chances but its up to us what we will do with such chance Link to post Share on other sites
jstalltxga Posted October 20, 2010 Share Posted October 20, 2010 I sure hope there is such a thing as fate, though mostly its just a rationalization we create so that the harshness that is sometimes reality doesn't drive us insane. i'm 26, have been single most of my life, and I still hope every day that it is going to change, seek out help and change, and find it never comes. for years I would tell this to my mother, and she would say, it will all work out, which doesn't help much. Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted October 20, 2010 Share Posted October 20, 2010 I sure hope there is such a thing as fate, though mostly its just a rationalization we create so that the harshness that is sometimes reality doesn't drive us insane. i'm 26, have been single most of my life, and I still hope every day that it is going to change, seek out help and change, and find it never comes. for years I would tell this to my mother, and she would say, it will all work out, which doesn't help much. I hope for your sake that fate exists. I wish it were so for me. Perhaps fate exists for some and not others. Link to post Share on other sites
pureinheart Posted October 20, 2010 Share Posted October 20, 2010 Hi Folks, Going through some stuff in my life, and trying to let go of my past... I am wondering what the belief is in fate here? Like a lot of People on here, hope, and worry, and try to do things to win their other halves back... Really, does any of this play a part in the grand scale of things? Does any of it really help? Do you believe if something is ment for you then it won't pass you by regardless of what we do to mess it up, what we do to push them away, and what we do to make them happy? Any thoughts...? Anyone experienced anything that they believed to be true fate? I believe in fate, maybe I'd like reassurance that I'm not the only one :-)[/QUOTE] I'll give that a BIGGGGGGG YES. I don't believe in fate just for the main feature of peace that it provides, it's just so wonderful that I don't have to be in control, nor do I have to fear for my future...I just do what I'm supposed to do and go about my business and God does the rest:) Link to post Share on other sites
pureinheart Posted October 20, 2010 Share Posted October 20, 2010 Almost makes me want to become a new superhero---the Karma Enforcer! In his trenchcoat and fedora hat, Karma Enforcer uses his silencer-equipped pistol to help jaywalkers, foul-mouthed people, and other evildoers get what's coming to them! Muhahahahaaaa!!!!! :lmao::lmao::lmao:............................... Link to post Share on other sites
pureinheart Posted October 20, 2010 Share Posted October 20, 2010 I sure hope there is such a thing as fate, though mostly its just a rationalization we create so that the harshness that is sometimes reality doesn't drive us insane. i'm 26, have been single most of my life, and I still hope every day that it is going to change, seek out help and change, and find it never comes. for years I would tell this to my mother, and she would say, it will all work out, which doesn't help much. I hope for your sake that fate exists. I wish it were so for me. Perhaps fate exists for some and not others. (((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))....I'm single too, and I hate it. I have much opportunity, I just haven't felt led to move in that direction yet, I know it's not time:( Link to post Share on other sites
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