confused! and torn!

[jennie]

about seven years ago i moved to a new state to be near my daughter. since then i have moved back and forth to where i came from and then back to the state where my daughter lives. i have met a guy a couple years ago, but didn't want to get too serious cause i know that i am likely to up and move again. well he didn't take no for an answer and now we live together, have furniture together and pets together. still i feel this constant need to move back to my home town. there's nothing there for me really, some family, and some friends, it's just a small town and i love small towns and the homey feel of them. moving to one with him is not an option cause of his job and family. so when i want to go home, i think i deliberately start fights with him, but he don't fight back and i get frustrated. he knows of my dilemma too and he don't want me to leave. i don't know how to stop wanting to go back, when i am there i want to be here. the grass is greener kind of thing. if i was single i could come and go as i please and not hurt anyone and not hurt myself, cause i would miss this guy so much if i left him and i'd regret it before i left town. still this need to go back and forth has been a driving force in my life and it is driving me crazy (no pun intended)i don't know what to do, sometimes i wish he was a jerk so i could justify my leaving him, but he is not, he is the best thing that ever happened to me, i feel so loved and so lucky having met him, tho at times like anyone else i know, he has his bad side too, sometimes he can't communicate with me, or his is impatient or he is snappy or moody, or something. now if he was these things more often it would be easier to leave him, but i have my down side too, and i wouldn't want someone to leave me just cause of my moods, unless they were survere. i am getting too old to keep looking for boyfriends and moving around like this, yet something keeps calling me back and forth. i have written the pros and cons of both towns and neither one comes out ahead of the other and that makes it worse. i don't know what to do. any suggestions? has anyone ever ever gone through such a strange problem? help! please!

[Tony T]

What to do:

 

Run around the block five times, work up a good sweat, go inside and take a nice shower. Dry off. Wait five minutes. Then make yourself your favorite cool drink. Sit very comfortably and look out the window and listen to the birds as you sip your beverage.

 

When you are very comfortable, think about how wonderful it is to have someone special. Think about how you are free to come and go as you please...to visit the towns you desire...to do whatever you want and have your love there when you return.

 

Think about how lucky you are to have a guy who is smart enough to know when you are starting stupid fights for the purpose of getting a rise out of him...and how intelligent he is not to engage himself in those spats. Ponder on the fact that no matter what disagreements you have with him, you love him...yes, you have found the love that so many millions of people around the world have not yet discovered and/or may never find.

 

Think about the fact that both places are equally as nice as you noted in your comparison. Think about how nice it is to be alive and be in one of the places on earth that you really want to be.

 

Then think about how glad you are that you aren't the President of the United States sitting behind a desk in the Oval Office where the Red Phone could ring at any moment and you would have to push the button that could destroy the world.

 

Before you get up, think what a joy life is and how useless it is to torture yourself worrying about an issue that is already resolved.

 

Become a volunteer in the children's ward at a cancer hospital near you and help cheer up young children that have a year or less to live. Being around them will really put your confusion into perspective and take your mind off any problem you may be facing at the time.