Horrible stuff that happened when I was younger

[Eclipse11]

I was glad last night, because I remembered it and cried about it - because for years I didn't think about it all and still I can't remember a lot of my teenage years

 

The incident I was remembering was this: when I was about eleven, you know how you grow hair under your armpits, well I didn't know about that at all when I was eleven...never been told - well I'm out with my mum, wearing a dress going to party, must have been a tiny bit and she suddenly sees it and starts screaming at me and yelling, so I felt so frightened and confused, and she dragged me back down the street, practically shoving and pushing me home then she shoves me into the bath and says I must shave them all off so I felt terrified and even my dad told her to calm down

 

Then she would also tell me, if my room was a bit messy, nobody would ever want to live with me and tell me I should see a psychiatrist, how weird I was, every day

 

She would yell, she would throw things

 

And my dad would often look at me with contempt too - as if I was loathsome - I would sometimes see him openly looking at my cleavage and I started to wear baggy tops every day to cover them up. One day when I was all dressed up in a nice dress he looked at me contemptuously and went "ugh, dirty bra strap"...isn't that a bit weird for a dad?

 

Also seems strange now that he would say how hot and attractive my friend was when we were sixteen and he would say stuff in the car like " oh dark women always have to dye their hair red to try and look sexy" and it just seemed a bit of a strange thing for your dad to say

 

And one day I brought loads of new piano books, I loved my piano...I get home and my dad has smashed my piano to bits without telling me - that was the last straw, that was when I started to cut myself and went numb - to this day, my mum denies that ever happened

 

Even my teachers at school asked me what had happened to me and my mum was called into the school once then she was furious with me

 

My life is fine now, but I've been remembering all that stuff and just want to say to you, some strangers, isn't it all a bit weird? I hate to even think about it all but apparently you start to feel better when you bring it into the open

 

Any words much appreciated - thanks

[Nightsky]

Your father is cruel. What your mother did was shameful.

[Eclipse11]

Thanks NightSky...

[wicar1]

I was glad last night, because I remembered it and cried about it - because for years I didn't think about it all and still I can't remember a lot of my teenage years

 

The incident I was remembering was this: when I was about eleven, you know how you grow hair under your armpits, well I didn't know about that at all when I was eleven...never been told - well I'm out with my mum, wearing a dress going to party, must have been a tiny bit and she suddenly sees it and starts screaming at me and yelling, so I felt so frightened and confused, and she dragged me back down the street, practically shoving and pushing me home then she shoves me into the bath and says I must shave them all off so I felt terrified and even my dad told her to calm down

 

Then she would also tell me, if my room was a bit messy, nobody would ever want to live with me and tell me I should see a psychiatrist, how weird I was, every day

 

She would yell, she would throw things

 

And my dad would often look at me with contempt too - as if I was loathsome - I would sometimes see him openly looking at my cleavage and I started to wear baggy tops every day to cover them up. One day when I was all dressed up in a nice dress he looked at me contemptuously and went "ugh, dirty bra strap"...isn't that a bit weird for a dad?

 

Also seems strange now that he would say how hot and attractive my friend was when we were sixteen and he would say stuff in the car like " oh dark women always have to dye their hair red to try and look sexy" and it just seemed a bit of a strange thing for your dad to say

 

And one day I brought loads of new piano books, I loved my piano...I get home and my dad has smashed my piano to bits without telling me - that was the last straw, that was when I started to cut myself and went numb - to this day, my mum denies that ever happened

 

Even my teachers at school asked me what had happened to me and my mum was called into the school once then she was furious with me

 

My life is fine now, but I've been remembering all that stuff and just want to say to you, some strangers, isn't it all a bit weird? I hate to even think about it all but apparently you start to feel better when you bring it into the open

 

Any words much appreciated - thanks

 

I feel for you...

 

your fine now it's what matters. Anyway.. are they your real parents or were you adopted? just curious..