What's the deal with male and female friendships?

[Leigh 87]

What are you experiences and opinions with having friends of the opposite sex?

 

I do not have much experience with making and keeping friends, the last few years I have spent devoting to getting my own life on track.

 

Now I am ready to go out and have a social life, and am eager to hear some advice on how to go about making friends with the opposite sex; I do not just want guy friends, but I do not want advice on women, I am more interest on IF you can have guy friends, at all.

 

For me, I do not want a relationship with a man any time soon, and while some people say that it is hard for women to have guy friends, I just think it sounds silly; in theory, why cant a male and female hang out, keep each other occupied, and enjoy doing activities together?

 

I think I can answer my own question to some extent; if you do not have feelings for them, things can be mutual and u can gain things from talking to each other, and occupying each other time.

 

On the other hand, if a guy is particularly attractive, and admits that he finds ME attractive, then.,..... it WOULD be tempting to avoid chemistry if it is there. And to be honest, although I do not want a long term relationship, if a guy was very hot, AND we both liked each other for our personalities, then I WOULD consider " seeing" them.

 

So can you only have male and female ffriends you are NOT physically attracted to? OR, can you think they have hot bodies and are attractive, WITHOUT wanting to have sex with them?

 

It is logical that if u get along well enough to be friends, and also find each other sexually very attractive, that this would be the basis for a relationship.

 

Any thoughts or advice guys? I am yet to embark on my friendship making experience, but I just met a random guy, smrt nice and compatible, and he said he would introduce me to his ffriends and we can all go out on weekends.

 

So I am looking fwd to having people to occupy my time with. Maybe when to share their problems with me ( tend to like people putting trust in me, but not revealing too much about myself, unless I need to, such as to build a connection when one of them feels bad, when sharing something personal about mer may make them seel better).

 

I am just wondering the rules of make and female friendships. I think I have summed it up pretty well; if you are heavily attracted to each other and also get along well, then.....

[Els]

You want to make platonic guy friends, get a guy hobby, and be sure to bring your partner along early on to make things clear to them. Works like a charm for me.

[Leigh 87]

I do not specifically want guy friends - I just want friends, be it male or female. Although it would be more interesting to have friends of both sexes.

 

My parents have male a female aquaintances. Then again, my parents have been married for many years.

 

I do not have a partner, and want to know what it is like to have male friends, without your marital status comming into play; to go out and meet guy friends based on your interactions, before having to consider if they r even in a relationship.

 

Lastly, do guys that have girlfriends generally like having female friends? Or do they tend to get their female fix through their g/fs?

 

Because I am getting the feeling that it is mostly guys without girlfriends that are more open to female companions.

[Els]

You don't understand. WHen you're strictly platonic, it doesn't matter whether you're male, female, herm, or homosexual.

[Tayla]

You don't understand. WHen you're strictly platonic, it doesn't matter whether you're male, female, herm, or homosexual.

 

I understand and I agree with Elswyth.

[Mad Max]

IMO, the only time male/female friendships work is when there is no attraction. Even then, attraction can develop when you spend a lot of time with someone.

[Cee]

IMO, the only time male/female friendships work is when there is no attraction. Even then, attraction can develop when you spend a lot of time with someone.

 

I've developed attractions for all of my male friends (except the gay man). None of them were interested in me so I squashed those feelings and we are good friends. But it's not easy to douse an infatuation - the guy has to really be a good person for it to be worth it.

 

There have been times when I've pursued a "friendship," but I was trying to win them over. I did soul searching and jettisoned them b/c a real friendship was not developing- instead I was manipulating.

 

With all that said, I suggest you pursue friendships with the gender you don't want to f*ck. Once you've done that, then move to the opposite sex.

[Tayla]

I find my friends attractive- for their endearments, intellects, sense of humor...It doesn't all lead to the bedroom nor would that be proper...

Perhaps its discipline and a sense of self that allows friends to be just that...friends....

 

The bonds may be different in dynamics but the bottom line is I wouldn't give up my guy friends or girlfriends simply because society say it cant possibly be genuine respect and regard...it is.

[Leigh 87]

I agree with the last post - if you are physically and sexually attracted to them, then it would take discipline to just stay friends.But if they had girlfriends and were with other women, then you would get used to it and be able to be just friends.

 

I think it is when u r attracted to a guy to the extent where u would care if they got a girlfriend; if u feel upset thinking about them with another girl, on an emotional level, then yeah.

 

I think it sounds possible to be able to be attracted to guys and still be their friends; if you both like to listen to each other and offer advice, and you have enough to talk about and enjoy talking to one another, than I think it IS possible to have them in this way, and not care if they get intimate with another person.

[cloverdale]

I don't think one has to arbitrarily set rules for relationships and if you both like each other more than friends then what's the harm in pursuing it further?

 

To me that sounds like the best way to figure out if someone is worth pursuing at all rather than just rolling the dice on strangers.

[ricklaver]

What are you experiences and opinions with having friends of the opposite sex?

 

Friendship between opposite sex is much more stronger than same sex becasue you can't able to share some problems with the same gender but you feel free to tell those problem with opposite gender. As per my personal experience, in this type of friendship love comes between two person. What do you think guys, love comes between opposite sex friendship or not?

[D-Lish]

Lastly, do guys that have girlfriends generally like having female friends? Or do they tend to get their female fix through their g/fs?

 

Because I am getting the feeling that it is mostly guys without girlfriends that are more open to female companions.

 

Guys in relationships rarely seek platonic female relationships, it most likely wouldn't sit well with the SO.

 

Most single men that befriend you will probably want to sleep with you.

 

If you want to meet a mix of males and females, join a hobby group.

 

I have a lot of male friends- but I met them back in university days. Most of these guys have gone on to get married and have kids- a lot of the wives don't take kindly to them having a single female friend.

 

Go for female friends if you need companionship- you'll meet men by default.

[Nikki Sahagin]

I have quite a lot of male friends, a lot of them gay...although I didn't seek them out, it just happened that way. And I have male friends that are in relationships but we were single when we became friends. I think it's great to have a mix of friends, but really make friends the way you would anyway, just be natural and normal. Be aware a lot of guys will be your friend with the aim of getting in your pants - but you can easily tell real friendship apart from a game.

[Leigh 87]

I have quite a lot of male friends, a lot of them gay...although I didn't seek them out, it just happened that way. And I have male friends that are in relationships but we were single when we became friends. I think it's great to have a mix of friends, but really make friends the way you would anyway, just be natural and normal. Be aware a lot of guys will be your friend with the aim of getting in your pants - but you can easily tell real friendship apart from a game.

 

 

 

If I got along well with a guy, but was not attracted to him physically, I would tell him right off that I like being around him, but that i want him to stick around as my friend because he wants to be FRIENDS, and that there is no future hope for him and I in a sexual way.

 

 

Although I see nothing wrong with getting as male friend, sharing a genuine affection for one another, and if we have sexual chemistry and if we find each other very attractive, I would have a FWB arrangment.

 

I would only use guy friends for sex, if we were heavily attracted to one another, had the right chemistry of course, and if I would not be phased at them seeing other people.

 

After all, I do not want a relationship at this stage of my life, and am only seeking occasional sex from men that I am highly attracted to.

 

it may be tough for me to find men I am very attracted to though, because I am not highly attractive myself:( This could prove to be a problem, because guys that are not very attractive may think that they have a chance with me simply because I am in their league.

 

Are any other women like me, who are not very attractive, and as a result, average and below average men who start out a friends, seam to have an idea that they can get you into bed?

 

Because if we were very good looking women, the aveage and below average guys would not even attempt to get us into bed.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

What are you experiences and opinions with having friends of the opposite sex?

 

I do not have much experience with making and keeping friends, the last few years I have spent devoting to getting my own life on track.

 

Now I am ready to go out and have a social life, and am eager to hear some advice on how to go about making friends with the opposite sex; I do not just want guy friends, but I do not want advice on women, I am more interest on IF you can have guy friends, at all.

 

For me, I do not want a relationship with a man any time soon, and while some people say that it is hard for women to have guy friends, I just think it sounds silly; in theory, why cant a male and female hang out, keep each other occupied, and enjoy doing activities together?

 

I think I can answer my own question to some extent; if you do not have feelings for them, things can be mutual and u can gain things from talking to each other, and occupying each other time.

 

On the other hand, if a guy is particularly attractive, and admits that he finds ME attractive, then.,..... it WOULD be tempting to avoid chemistry if it is there. And to be honest, although I do not want a long term relationship, if a guy was very hot, AND we both liked each other for our personalities, then I WOULD consider " seeing" them.

 

So can you only have male and female ffriends you are NOT physically attracted to? OR, can you think they have hot bodies and are attractive, WITHOUT wanting to have sex with them?

 

It is logical that if u get along well enough to be friends, and also find each other sexually very attractive, that this would be the basis for a relationship.

 

Any thoughts or advice guys? I am yet to embark on my friendship making experience, but I just met a random guy, smrt nice and compatible, and he said he would introduce me to his ffriends and we can all go out on weekends.

 

So I am looking fwd to having people to occupy my time with. Maybe when to share their problems with me ( tend to like people putting trust in me, but not revealing too much about myself, unless I need to, such as to build a connection when one of them feels bad, when sharing something personal about mer may make them seel better).

 

I am just wondering the rules of make and female friendships. I think I have summed it up pretty well; if you are heavily attracted to each other and also get along well, then.....

 

 

Men who take interest in you for seeming "friendship" are really envisioning themselves standing "in line" for your romantic affections. It doesn't matter what you believe while this is going on, until you put out their flames.

 

Their apparent interest in 'friendship' will dissolve upon any realization by them that they can't have you romantically/sexually.

[Green]

I think oposite sex friendship just always needs boundaries. When you are single it's pretty easy to have a lot of oposite sex friends and not really have any boundaries because after all what does it matter if a friendship becomes a romantic relationship.

 

Now that I have a gf I just try to keep certain boundaries. Like when I'm friends with a guy I would have no problems calling him up on the phone and going out to eat or do something just the two of us. But if I were friends with a girl at work for example it would probably remain and at work friendship and would be inapropriate for me to ask her to hang out or to accept an invitation to hang out alone. stuff like that ect.

 

Since your single just be friends with guys you want to be friends with. If the guy is cool he might even ask you out get rejected and not mind being friends with you. For the most part though some guy isn't just going to hang out and go shopping with you and eat dinners with you if he isn't sexualy interested.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

I think oposite sex friendship just always needs boundaries.

 

 

They do - and that is how we came to have sexual harrassment laws in the workplace

[dispatch3d]

I agree it's all about boundaries, at least for me. You can't be depending on each other for emotional support. Guy/girl just doesn't work like that. So keep that in mind. What your describing sounds like having a guy friend who you COULD hook up with. Like keep him around as a prospect kinda thing. Please don't have that attitude. If the guy seems interested from the start and you want to just be friends, then honestly you have to just not be friends with him. That simple. He isn't going to change his mind over time to not liking you.

 

No one-on-one time. You've been warned! ;-)