B4Time Posted February 29, 2004 Share Posted February 29, 2004 I'm not new to this, but every time it's different. I am speaking of LDR's. I have found myself in a real pickle this time. I have engaged in some IM's and some email 'bounces' or depth finding as I like to say. Kind of like speed fliting or speed dating which I know nothing about. Here it is in a nut shell. She IM'd me. We IM'd. Which lead to a phone call. She is in her 20's and I my early 50's. She said she couldn't see a future between us - then the phone sex started. A month and a half later it is still going on, and our relationship has taken on quality if only on a superficial depth. I wrestle with obsession but she knows how to get under my skin. At times I think I'm being played, if it weren't for the sincerity in her voice. I miss her so much but she won't or can't allow a meeting. In a way I am OK with that as at some point she will have to know I am broke, unemployed and have not only no car, but no drivers license. I have not been hiding it, but you know about TMI, I haven't blurted it out either. I always want to be honest and never betray her trust. While I'd like to say I have had nothing but honesty from her, she also has a side she isn't showing me even though I have frequent access to a part of her, as best I can believe, few people of any have ever known. It's so wierd the people that have the largest effect on our society are blind - Lady Justice and Love. I want to stop the wining about not meeting and being with her. I would be ok if she came to me - except the embarrasment of where I live. I also want to be strong for her as she seems to find that attractive. Hell, I want to be strong for myself. Get a job - get my license back, have money etc..... What I, with all my heart, want, is not to become an LDR statistic. I want this relationship to survive. As illogical and pathetic as it might start out I think these two people would find a way to make it work. The Path seems ovbious. Wrestle with the relationship until reality must appear and hope for the best. Hope and prayers are like wishes - if wishes were horeses we'd all take a ride. I need to find a way and any advice from those who have been through the mill and won Iwilll appreciate. Yeah, I got it BAD! Link to post Share on other sites
befuddled11 Posted February 29, 2004 Share Posted February 29, 2004 You spoke of wrestling with the relationship. What relationship? I don't mean to rain on your parade, but I'm not sure what kind of relationship you think you have here, other than the phone sex. She's made it clear she doesn't see a future for you both, and she's firm about not ever meeting in person. Sorry to be blunt, but doesn't that say it all right there? She's young enough to be your daughter, also. Wouldn't it make more sense, logically, to at least be investing time with someone who's closer to your age? How do you even know for sure she's in her 20s? Don't you think it's rather risky having phone sex with some stranger online? She could be a minor for all you know. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted February 29, 2004 Share Posted February 29, 2004 If you've been through it before, then you understand that you have likely created this individual in your mind based on the little information you do have. taken on quality if only on a superficial depth Even more proof that this is not a genuine relationship. You need to get your life back together. She represents hope and something better than you have - that may be why you cling but she's not your answer. You are your answer. You aren't a good prospect for her, by your account. You know this. This should not stop you from becoming the best you can be and finding someone who will appreciate you in 3D. Link to post Share on other sites
Vivid_29 Posted February 29, 2004 Share Posted February 29, 2004 It doesn't sound like you have much of a relationship at all. All you had was phone sex! I think that you should focus more on getting your life back together as opposed to trying to establish an LDR/online relationship. I don't think there is a woman on this planet that would be attracted to a broke, unemployed man with no car and drivers license! Get your life straight and then pursue something, preferably local. ~V Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted February 29, 2004 Share Posted February 29, 2004 I'm with Viv..... Phone sex is NOT a relationship. If it were....I'd be engaged to half the internet! HAHAHAHA! Is there any reason why you can't begin working on correcting your situation? Even if you met someone who wanted a serious relationship, you can't carry it thru by arranging a meeting. It takes a little cash and some wheels....... Link to post Share on other sites
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