Confused

[shelby]

Ok, I'm another one of those people who has fallen for their best friend, but the situation has become so complicated that no one I've talked to has any advice for me. We've been friends for about four years and never had "feelings" for each other at the same time. But now I have liked him for about two years and he knows it. He said he doesn't want a girlfriend, but continued to be really good friends with me, it didn't change anything. The weird thing is that we are unable to keep our hands off each other, most people think that we are going out when they see us together. We've done a lot of serious kissing, etc. But there isn't really a romantic relationship there, it's all physical. I know you're all going to say he's using me, which could be true, but is it also possible that he just doesn't know how to deal with his feelings and it ends up like this? This is killing me, because I feel bad after we do stuff since I know it won't develop into anything. I've tried dating other people but I just keep comparing them to him, nothing feels right with anyone but him. When I try to talk to him about this, he doesn't really know what to say and changes the subject. I guess my question is what is the best way to handle this and how should I go about doing that? Thanks.

[Tony T]

It sounds like he is very fond of you but because of lack of experience, fears from his childhood, immaturity, not being ready, not wanting an official "tie down", or for a host of other reasons, he does not want to make the relationship official.

 

If you are having a good time and you're relatively young, hang in there and enjoy yourself. He is NOT using you because he has been perfectly honest with you and has NOT led you to believe he wants more than the two of you have right now...which sounds pretty good to me.

 

My educated guess is that at some point in time, when you decide you want to be in a committed relationship and you announce to him that you can't be around anymore because you have to devote time to finding a mate...he'll come around. Guys are stupid sometimes and don't really show their feelings in a big way until it's crisis time.

 

Now that's my opinion...I hope others give you theirs.