A thread for when you're missing your partner

[Posshgal]

Im meant to be seeing my boyfriend in 4weeks as he is coming back for a party but i dont no if he will come back now as we have fullen out its really killing me not being able to talk to him or see him

[Omei]

Tonight was a good night, right up till about 9 pm when my bf logs on and tells me our date plan is canceled because after his dentist app his friends just showed up and scooped him up after he had promised me we'd watch the final of the anime series we're going through.

 

Now I feel lonely and sad, and a bit pushed aside/hurt. Feel like our plans suddenly became non important compared his RL friends and normally a change of plans would be no problem just today I feel upset that im far and cannot be apart of those change of plans I miss him so much, I think ill just cry to sleep. ( I wont bring it up with him, I think I was already pre feeling sad.)

[LittleTiger]

Tonight was a good night, right up till about 9 pm when my bf logs on and tells me our date plan is canceled because after his dentist app his friends just showed up and scooped him up after he had promised me we'd watch the final of the anime series we're going through.

 

Now I feel lonely and sad, and a bit pushed aside/hurt. Feel like our plans suddenly became non important compared his RL friends and normally a change of plans would be no problem just today I feel upset that im far and cannot be apart of those change of plans I miss him so much, I think ill just cry to sleep. ( I wont bring it up with him, I think I was already pre feeling sad.)

 

(((Hugs))) Omei. For what it's worth, I think cancelling time with you at the last minute 'stinks'. His friends 'scooping him up' as an excuse to cancel is a little unfair in my book and I'd actually be quite mad if this happened. Obviously, in any relationship, things happen at times that make going back on your word unavoidable but friends 'scooping him up' is not one of them.

 

I know you've said you won't bring it up, but if it makes you sad then you really should. You don't have to make a big deal of it but in a LDR good communication is essential. Not sharing these things will lead to building resentment. Let him know that you felt sad, pushed aside and unimportant. If something you did made him feel that way, wouldn't you want to know?

[Omei]

(((Hugs))) Omei. For what it's worth, I think cancelling time with you at the last minute 'stinks'. His friends 'scooping him up' as an excuse to cancel is a little unfair in my book and I'd actually be quite mad if this happened. Obviously, in any relationship, things happen at times that make going back on your word unavoidable but friends 'scooping him up' is not one of them.

 

I know you've said you won't bring it up, but if it makes you sad then you really should. You don't have to make a big deal of it but in a LDR good communication is essential. Not sharing these things will lead to building resentment. Let him know that you felt sad, pushed aside and unimportant. If something you did made him feel that way, wouldn't you want to know?

 

He knows about it, from previous times and I know when he gets home he will say sorry sorry over and over and make me feel better, I don't think it can be helped much his friends are young and so his he, and they just drive over to his house all the time without pre-call or any notice and then he feels bad for telling them to go home, which he has a few times lol then I end up feeling bad it doesn't happen often just sucks when it does happen. Thanks for your caring <3

[HeavenOrHell]

How's everyone doing? I'm ok at the moment, 6 weeks til I next see him, we're talking a lot which helps and I feel really close to him

[folieadeux]

Doing good here too HOH, glad to see you and your SO are speaking alot, that always helps!

 

I'm just getting really antsy. I don't mean to wish my life away but I really want December to get here in a hurry!!

[Omei]

I'm just getting really antsy. I don't mean to wish my life away but I really want December to get here in a hurry!!

 

Same! I too often think about how I wish for huge amounts of time going away.

[HeavenOrHell]

I know the feeling

 

 

Doing good here too HOH, glad to see you and your SO are speaking alot, that always helps!

 

I'm just getting really antsy. I don't mean to wish my life away but I really want December to get here in a hurry!!

[folieadeux]

My SO's best friend moved in with him this past weekend for an indeterminate amount of time. My boyfriend's a signed musician and is helping him break into the business. I think what he's doing is great. His friend moved from another state and will be living with him virtually for free until he gets on his feet. He's also been showing him around and helping him find a regular 9-5 job in the meantime when they aren't playing shows. Needless to say, he's been running around like crazy and I miss him because we aren't able to understandably speak as much.

[HeavenOrHell]

How are you doing now hun? Hope you'll be able to speak to him more soon.

 

 

My SO's best friend moved in with him this past weekend for an indeterminate amount of time. My boyfriend's a signed musician and is helping him break into the business. I think what he's doing is great. His friend moved from another state and will be living with him virtually for free until he gets on his feet. He's also been showing him around and helping him find a regular 9-5 job in the meantime when they aren't playing shows. Needless to say, he's been running around like crazy and I miss him because we aren't able to understandably speak as much.

[HeavenOrHell]

I have highs and lows with this relationship, since I went to his 2 weeks ago I've felt really close to him, but since last night I feel like I can't handle the distance, I'm thinking he doesn't miss me as much as I miss him, I feel he'd be happy for it to be long distance long term, I have no evidence of this, it's just that he finds it easier to look at the positives. I'm just feeling negative, and cos I spose he rarely talks about moving-he'd be the one doing the moving, I just feel he feels stressed/pressure about the thought of moving in 18 months time or however long, rather than it being a joyful thing, so I feel there's no time limit, it's all a bit vague. I'm not prepared to move though, so why should I expect him to, although he says I have a life here and he doesn't have a life there.

It's probably just the man thing of not showing emotions so much, I feel like backing off from it all, but I can't because he's special. It's depressing me at the moment. I'm in my 40's, I shouldn't be wishing the weeks/months away.

And his ex is hanging out with him this weekend and it makes me feel lonely.

Part of me thinks we should stop, and find someone in our own country. I need cuddles and affection and I want to be able to do things with my partner.

I miss him and I hate this.

[Scott Clifford]

I have highs and lows with this relationship, since I went to his 2 weeks ago I've felt really close to him, but since last night I feel like I can't handle the distance, I'm thinking he doesn't miss me as much as I miss him, I feel he'd be happy for it to be long distance long term, I have no evidence of this, it's just that he finds it easier to look at the positives. I'm just feeling negative, and cos I spose he rarely talks about moving-he'd be the one doing the moving, I just feel he feels stressed/pressure about the thought of moving in 18 months time or however long, rather than it being a joyful thing, so I feel there's no time limit, it's all a bit vague. I'm not prepared to move though, so why should I expect him to, although he says I have a life here and he doesn't have a life there.

It's probably just the man thing of not showing emotions so much, I feel like backing off from it all, but I can't because he's special. It's depressing me at the moment. I'm in my 40's, I shouldn't be wishing the weeks/months away.

And his ex is hanging out with him this weekend and it makes me feel lonely.

Part of me thinks we should stop, and find someone in our own country. I need cuddles and affection and I want to be able to do things with my partner.

I miss him and I hate this.

 

 

Have you talked to him about this?

[HeavenOrHell]

I have yes, talked about all of it, I think he says me misses me even though he doesn't always say it. He says he does want to be living closer to me in 2 years, he said that a few months ago and said recently that hadn't changed, it was him who wanted to talk about the future in the first place, but when he warmed me to the idea he said we didn't need to talk endlessly about it, and that we'll find a way to make it work. He knows I find it hard sometimes when his ex is there, he knows I don't worry about him cheating, it's more that I wish I were spending time with him rather than his ex. I see my ex too, but not as much as he sees his, his stays over as she lives 1 1/2 hours away.

 

 

 

Have you talked to him about this?

[Scott Clifford]

If you trust and love him. Then you shouldn't get bad ideas in your head. Because you'll only make yourself unhappy.

 

2 Years is a long period but if your love is strong enough and you see him in between, those years will be over soon.

 

Miss him, want him, and don't get wrong ideas in your head.

[HeavenOrHell]

Yes, you're right I love and trust him but I worry sometimes he says things on impulse, he means it at the time no doubt, but I'm not 100% sure he'd follow it through in reality. I'm finding it hard to trust it when people say important things because my ex and my best friend let me down big time and I find it hard to believe certain things now.

 

 

 

 

If you trust and love him. Then you shouldn't get bad ideas in your head. Because you'll only make yourself unhappy.

 

2 Years is a long period but if your love is strong enough and you see him in between, those years will be over soon.

 

Miss him, want him, and don't get wrong ideas in your head.

[skydiveaddict]

I think you miss him. A LOT. Nothing wrong with that

[Citizen Erased]

^^ agreed.

 

I love when Pyro wakes up, says incredibly random things, then goes back to sleep and doesn't remember it. The last time he even put his glasses on, then took them off. Too cute.

[folieadeux]

How are you doing now hun? Hope you'll be able to speak to him more soon.

 

I'm doing a bit better now thanks so much for asking. We've had to tweak our routine a bit, but it's just a matter of getting used to a new normal. Any little deviation from the norm you feel SO much more in an LDR I find though. Since that post, my SO has reiterated to me again that he'd move mountains to make this work and give up everything if he thought I was thinking of bailing. Of course I don't want him to do that and I was never thinking of calling it quits, but it's always nice to be reassured when you're down that your partner wants this just as much as you do.

[folieadeux]

I have highs and lows with this relationship, since I went to his 2 weeks ago I've felt really close to him, but since last night I feel like I can't handle the distance, I'm thinking he doesn't miss me as much as I miss him, I feel he'd be happy for it to be long distance long term, I have no evidence of this, it's just that he finds it easier to look at the positives. I'm just feeling negative, and cos I spose he rarely talks about moving-he'd be the one doing the moving, I just feel he feels stressed/pressure about the thought of moving in 18 months time or however long, rather than it being a joyful thing, so I feel there's no time limit, it's all a bit vague. I'm not prepared to move though, so why should I expect him to, although he says I have a life here and he doesn't have a life there.

It's probably just the man thing of not showing emotions so much, I feel like backing off from it all, but I can't because he's special. It's depressing me at the moment. I'm in my 40's, I shouldn't be wishing the weeks/months away.

And his ex is hanging out with him this weekend and it makes me feel lonely.

Part of me thinks we should stop, and find someone in our own country. I need cuddles and affection and I want to be able to do things with my partner.

I miss him and I hate this.

 

Yes, you're right I love and trust him but I worry sometimes he says things on impulse, he means it at the time no doubt, but I'm not 100% sure he'd follow it through in reality. I'm finding it hard to trust it when people say important things because my ex and my best friend let me down big time and I find it hard to believe certain things now.

 

(((Hugs)))

 

We all have highs and lows, that’s par for the course unfortunately. I really do believe (both from my own personal experience and reading others on here) that men do handle the distance better, at least externally. My SO and I do not yet have a concrete plan established as to when we’ll move either. We aren’t teenagers and no one should wish their lives away at any age. I believe that everything you’re going through, although incredibly frustrating, is completely understandable.

 

I’m glad you had a chance to talk to him about it. I find that comforts me more than anything. I think the hardest part is all the little things you miss out on together by not seeing each other every day, and that’s what you’re thinking about now because he’s spending all this time with his ex, etc. that you wish you could be there for.

 

Even though others close to you have disappointed you in the past, you really do have to try to let that go and give your SO the benefit of the doubt. You’ll miss out on a lot if you don’t. The way I see it, you already did the hard part, you found each other. Whether it takes two months or two years to be together permanently, it’s well worth the wait to be with the person you want to be with rather than settling for someone local.

[aerogurl87]

I'm about to lose my mind. I've been listening to Need You Now by Lady Antebellum on repeat for the past 20 minutes or so and I just feel... blah. I'm really hoping my job kicks up the speed on trying to get my transfer done quickly. I talked to my boyfriend about it and he said I could move up there as soon as I possibly can since he has the money put away for my plane ticket and moving expenses already. I still miss him though, this last visit has been harder than I thought it could be. I thought I was down with my ex when he left me but this is on a whole other level of depression...

[aerogurl87]

Yes, you're right I love and trust him but I worry sometimes he says things on impulse, he means it at the time no doubt, but I'm not 100% sure he'd follow it through in reality. I'm finding it hard to trust it when people say important things because my ex and my best friend let me down big time and I find it hard to believe certain things now.

 

Remember your boyfriend isn't your ex or your best friend. I felt the same way about my boyfriend in our first few months of dating when it came to trust. After having my ex blindside me with our break up I found it near impossible to trust he'd stay with me and not leave me when things got hard. I kept my guard up but over time he proved to me that he wouldn't leave me and he was a man of his word unlike most people I've met in my life.

 

So if your boyfriend has earned your trust in that he'll do what he says, then trust him. It'll be hard I know, but not trusting him can damage your relationship on the flipside. Let your guard down and give him the benefit of the doubt. Not all men are the same and just because you had a few rotten apples in the past doesn't mean this new one is going to be full of worms as well.

[HeavenOrHell]

Thank you peeps I think it's just that when I'm feeling despondent about us he's positive about us to try and cheer me up, so I take that to mean he's ok about the distance

[HeavenOrHell]

That's really good to hear

 

 

I'm doing a bit better now thanks so much for asking. We've had to tweak our routine a bit, but it's just a matter of getting used to a new normal. Any little deviation from the norm you feel SO much more in an LDR I find though. Since that post, my SO has reiterated to me again that he'd move mountains to make this work and give up everything if he thought I was thinking of bailing. Of course I don't want him to do that and I was never thinking of calling it quits, but it's always nice to be reassured when you're down that your partner wants this just as much as you do.

[Gwendolyn]

So you guys know my SO and I sleep with Skype running...

 

I usually go to bed before him, and I have known for many years I talk in my sleep a lot. He told me today that sometimes when I am sleeping I will call his name, usually in a panicked way. He then says "Yes?" and I start blabbering "nonsensical stuff". He then tells me to go to sleep, and I do.

 

I did not know this!!!

 

The only reason he told me today is because last night I started calling his name, and then suddenly woke up and realized what I was doing (he slept through my yelling)... and I was feeling quite panicked. I told him today in a "haha, you're not going to believe this" kind of way and he responded with "Oh yeah, you do that a lot!" He said he thinks I do it when I'm having a bad dream.

 

I feel like such a creeper. What does that mean? Is that unhealthy? Or am I just missing him?

 

SO and I used to do the same thing, sleep with skype on. Now my laptop is too much of a piece to handle it, overheating and all.

 

It would be wonderful if you could actually remember the dreams you were having that forced you to call out his name!

[HeavenOrHell]

Aw I feel worse after my last visit to his 2 weeks ago too, cos we had such a lovely time, I felt really lonely when I got back to my empty house, I feel depressed. You're lucky that the end is in sight for you, no idea how long it will be before me and my partner live nearer, not that I want it yet as it would feel too soon, too rushed, but in a year or so would be nice.

I hope your weekend is ok

 

I'm about to lose my mind. I've been listening to Need You Now by Lady Antebellum on repeat for the past 20 minutes or so and I just feel... blah. I'm really hoping my job kicks up the speed on trying to get my transfer done quickly. I talked to my boyfriend about it and he said I could move up there as soon as I possibly can since he has the money put away for my plane ticket and moving expenses already. I still miss him though, this last visit has been harder than I thought it could be. I thought I was down with my ex when he left me but this is on a whole other level of depression...