finding_serenity Posted October 10, 2010 Share Posted October 10, 2010 it is wrong but I can't help it,me and H always fight from the beginning.we have nothing in common and I was regretful of my decision to marry him.unfortunately I have a baby with him.i love my baby but I wish he's not my baby's dad.i met his bestfriend and we have so much in common,i enjoy every moment talking to him and we have the same thinking.its bad but I don't want to commit adultery even on my mind. Link to post Share on other sites
Author finding_serenity Posted October 10, 2010 Author Share Posted October 10, 2010 why do we sumtyms meet the ryt one on the wrong time? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 10, 2010 Share Posted October 10, 2010 it is wrong but I can't help it,me and H always fight from the beginning.we have nothing in common and I was regretful of my decision to marry him.unfortunately I have a baby with him.i love my baby but I wish he's not my baby's dad.i met his bestfriend and we have so much in common,i enjoy every moment talking to him and we have the same thinking.its bad but I don't want to commit adultery even on my mind. 1)Since you and your H are fighting - DIVORCE HIM! You two can co-parent your child together, but under two different houses. To betray your H and cheat on him with his bestfriend IS wrong and it's double betrayal. Glad to hear you haven't crossed that line yet. Does the bestfriend know how you feel? have you two spoken of this? or is it just one sided. Link to post Share on other sites
Author finding_serenity Posted October 10, 2010 Author Share Posted October 10, 2010 1)Since you and your H are fighting - DIVORCE HIM! You two can co-parent your child together, but under two different houses. To betray your H and cheat on him with his bestfriend IS wrong and it's double betrayal. Glad to hear you haven't crossed that line yet. Does the bestfriend know how you feel? have you two spoken of this? or is it just one sided. there is attraction but when he implied I just said, too bad you're late,im already married.we still talk.but I find myself falling out of love for my H. Link to post Share on other sites
painfullyobvious Posted October 10, 2010 Share Posted October 10, 2010 This may be more of a symptom of your relationship than what you feel for your husbands best friend. Try and talk to your husband about what you are feeling is missing in your relationship. Do not cheat as this will only complicate and add more turmoil to an already difficult situation. Link to post Share on other sites
2themoon&back Posted October 10, 2010 Share Posted October 10, 2010 there is attraction but when he implied I just said, too bad you're late,im already married.we still talk.but I find myself falling out of love for my H. You sound like you still have your good sense about you..... so use them !! get out of the loveless situation you are in, your child will be ok, it is better to divorce than to force children to be the reason you stayed in a marriage you resent... children will pick up on this and they too will become miserable. Once you have moved out or away from the marriage then you can see if you truly have any real feelings for the BF, or if he was just something to compare to the things you don’t have with your H. No matter what you do-- NOT act on your attraction for the OM, especially when you still have a choice. Bless you and please take care of you !!!! Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted October 10, 2010 Share Posted October 10, 2010 FindingSerenity, from what you've posted about your marriage--it is bad. You are in a bad situation, and need to focus on getting out of it. I can imagine how you would be tempted to "escape" to the arms of another man (even just in your mind), but bringing another man into this relationship would be disastrous. From what you've described, your H is not such a great guy. What are the chances that his best friend is a great guy? Why would a great guy be best friends with the man who treats you so poorly? How clearly can you judge the character of this man while still in your marriage? My advice to you is to focus on your child. Your child needs you to be 100% focused on creating a safe, peaceful environment for the two of you. After you've achieved that, then you will have some time and energy to share with other men. Link to post Share on other sites
Author finding_serenity Posted October 10, 2010 Author Share Posted October 10, 2010 FindingSerenity, from what you've posted about your marriage--it is bad. You are in a bad situation, and need to focus on getting out of it. I can imagine how you would be tempted to "escape" to the arms of another man (even just in your mind), but bringing another man into this relationship would be disastrous. From what you've described, your H is not such a great guy. What are the chances that his best friend is a great guy? Why would a great guy be best friends with the man who treats you so poorly? How clearly can you judge the character of this man while still in your marriage? My advice to you is to focus on your child. Your child needs you to be 100% focused on creating a safe, peaceful environment for the two of you. After you've achieved that, then you will have some time and energy to share with other men. you're right,i guess my attention is being directed to some other guy cause I wanted so bad to get out of this situation.im working my way to independence.sadly I couldn't get out yet,i have to finish my cna and get a better paying job to support myself and my baby.i guess I'm venting and thank you for your undrstanding and advice.i know everything will be alright and I will be happy again.til then I'll be patient and keep praying.and venting here. Link to post Share on other sites
Author finding_serenity Posted October 11, 2010 Author Share Posted October 11, 2010 well I just wanna vent.. Again.. Today I got good scores on my written and lab test and my instructor mentioned job openings with good pay in a city near us.i mentioned it to my H and said we will be making the same amount a year.and he said "who told you you're gonna work there?" I'm pissed off but just kept my mouth shut. Link to post Share on other sites
hellhathnofury Posted October 11, 2010 Share Posted October 11, 2010 Good for you. Actions speak louder than words. go for the job, find inexpensive housing, file for divorce and child support. Sorted. if you really want to have something for yourself, and it really matters to you, what progress you'll make - you can do this. You can, you so can..... Link to post Share on other sites
Author finding_serenity Posted October 12, 2010 Author Share Posted October 12, 2010 Good for you. Actions speak louder than words. go for the job, find inexpensive housing, file for divorce and child support. Sorted. if you really want to have something for yourself, and it really matters to you, what progress you'll make - you can do this. You can, you so can..... I am really doing my best to be independent.when we had a fight and he took the cellphone,laptop and car keys from me because those are "his" I realized I've to buy my "own" laptop, cellphone and car. Link to post Share on other sites
Author finding_serenity Posted October 12, 2010 Author Share Posted October 12, 2010 after that incident I became cautious of using his laptop and I don't carry his extra car keys anymore. He gave them back to me but I just leave them at home,i don't wear the engagement ring too,we don't have wedding band.ive seen his old wedding band from previous marriage in his car but I didn't say anything.he remove me from his fb as wife and on his friend's list.i don't care.i changed my name to my maiden name in fb. Link to post Share on other sites
Author finding_serenity Posted October 13, 2010 Author Share Posted October 13, 2010 I'm venting..last night when my H and I went to bed,we are both in good moods and he was cuddly and everything,he whispered to my ears the good night term of endearment he used to say to his exwife. I know this because this is also their good night thing with their daughter. I had a pause and I asked if he was drunk and he said no.i didn't pursue to ask because we might get into argument and I've a test today.last year the day before we go to the immigration for my paper, I asked him why he married me and he said to piss off his ex.everytime he has pick up and bring his daughter to the meeting place when we have her on weekends,he brings me too,including our son.i don't want to go but I just keep quiet.when I say no,half of the time,he gets into moods. Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted October 13, 2010 Share Posted October 13, 2010 We dont meet the right one at the wrong time. Its impossible. When its the right one there is more right than wrong, including the timing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author finding_serenity Posted October 14, 2010 Author Share Posted October 14, 2010 We dont meet the right one at the wrong time. Its impossible. When its the right one there is more right than wrong, including the timing. you're right.too bad we marry the wrong person before we meet the right one. Link to post Share on other sites
kuma Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 you're right.too bad we marry the wrong person before we meet the right one. fs, you can't keep thinking about your unhappiness. That will make you more miserable. Please try to think positive. I think you should try counseling. Link to post Share on other sites
Author finding_serenity Posted October 14, 2010 Author Share Posted October 14, 2010 fs, you can't keep thinking about your unhappiness. That will make you more miserable. Please try to think positive. I think you should try counseling. I don't like being miserable too but it's not easy.im just glad I've friends I vent to and people who help me. Link to post Share on other sites
kuma Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 (edited) I don't like being miserable too but it's not easy.im just glad I've friends I vent to and people who help me. I'm glad you have friends who help you. I really hope you'll try IC. I'm worried about you. You may sink into depression. Edited October 14, 2010 by kuma Link to post Share on other sites
Author finding_serenity Posted October 15, 2010 Author Share Posted October 15, 2010 I'm glad you have friends who help you. I really hope you'll try IC. I'm worried about you. You may sink into depression. I am doing good with school.i don't see future with my husband.right now,he seems to feel the change on my attitude and probly how I feel for him.cant help it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author finding_serenity Posted October 16, 2010 Author Share Posted October 16, 2010 I am slowly drifting away from him... Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts