Bf doesn't know if he wants to marry one day? (Kinda long)

[chelle21689]

Me and my bf have been together for 5 years but 2 years long distance. We've been good and we're very committed. He's 22 and I'm 21. He joined the Army Reserve a year and half ago.

 

My bf recently told me he thinks he is clinically depressed but he won't get help and is against medication. I remember him telling me he's sad sometimes...but it'll be like every few months he'll bring it up. It worries me because he is such a happy person and he can easily fake it. People like being around him, he's a fun guy. Anyways, he called me up tonight and we had a very serious talk. We've been together for sooo long but never really discussed the topic of marriage thoroughly.

 

Just a month ago he visited and we went to my sister's wedding and he'd say things like "I hope my wedding is this way blah blah blah" and stuff like that. Since my bf has been sad (he's going through Airborne training which is tough and he hates it there), he asked me why do I love him so much and why do I stick with him when he's gone all the time. He said he kinda prepares himself for the day I'd leave him because of the Army and him being gone a lot. He asked me "What are your plans in life? I know you plan ahead all the time so I want to know" (He never really plans wayyy ahead). So I told him that I wanted a kid before I was 30 and he said he wanted a kid when he is financially ready.

 

I asked him, "Do you think you could get married one day?" he said he didn't know if he wanted to get married one day and that he never really thought about marriage. He said it wasn't on his mind and that he never really understood marriage. I don't know if it's his negativity talking (depression) because he used to talk about how he would propose to a girl (when we first dated). I told him, "When you find out for sure if you wanna marry one day let me know" he said, "Why, are u going to break up with me?"

 

I don't get it. He's been committed to me, he wants kids one day, marriage would help A LOT since he's in the military, I don't get it. And it's not as easy as you think to just leave someone if they're unsure about marriage one day.

Edited October 10, 2010 by chelle21689

[BellaBellaBella]

Chelle,

 

5 years is a long time at your ages. Are you sure both of you are ready for these conversations. It also seems you have been expressing a lot of concern about the other girl in your post. Is his depression distanceing to make it easier to leave on his deploy or something else?

 

Also LDR's are hard? I know it was hard when my friends were meeting and greeting and I was "committed".

 

Do you think his live is in an upheaval how and maybe that is why it has changed? What does your gut tell you?

 

Bella

[chelle21689]

I'm sorry but I don't understand some of the things you are asking b/c of your grammar.

"Do you think his live is in an upheaval how and maybe that is why it has changed?"

[BellaBellaBella]

He is in training. You have been worried about another woman. Your both young to have had such a long relationship. The upheaval is being deployed, maybe worrying about coming home. Perhaps, looking at his life and if he is ready to settle down or go out and have fun.

 

Sorry, my grammar is so poor.