really-broken Posted October 13, 2010 Share Posted October 13, 2010 Thanks Gt.ooh, I wrote another post (here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t249249/ ) before I realized there are relevant posts already up. It makes me feel a bit reconciled knowing I am not alone in this. She was my first love, and I agree with everything you said. I find things are so volatile in my mind, and my levels of desperation fluctuate. It was so painful at first, and now 4 months later it is still very painful, but it's a different kind of pain. It is so painful thinking and knowing all these things, and imagining her being intimate with other people. I would have never predicted this is how I was going to feel. It is probably better to not know until perhaps months after. I knew as it was happening and in hind sight maybe it was better not to. She didn't volunteer it but I was able to tell just from the way her emails changed or from certain hints, and then at some point she just told me plain and simple because she had an intense moment herself. I know she does not love me the same way any more. Thanks and all the luck to you as well. PS what does NC mean? I am very new to this forum! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gt.ooh Posted October 13, 2010 Author Share Posted October 13, 2010 I'd imagine that to be quite tough. Yea same to you, keep busy busy.. NC means No Contact. Link to post Share on other sites
really-broken Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 It is tough and I am in contact with her but it's hard to stop contact completely. I really don't know what to do. My sanity swings up and down, but I am always sad and lost. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gt.ooh Posted October 14, 2010 Author Share Posted October 14, 2010 My advice, NC. For me it was a little easier. My ex changed her number and froze her FB. She didn't change her number because of me, but for school reasons. I didn't ask for the number, and therefore I'm not tempted to just jump on my phone at any given time. I've also realized that with her being stubborn, there's absolutely no point in contacting right now. Not entirely sure about your ex and how she is.. I know Cap's ex is similar to mine, and he's also quite like me. Link to post Share on other sites
really-broken Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 My ex took me off facebook, but we still e-mail and she never gave me any sign that she doesn't want me to email her, though i usually end up telling her we shouldn't talk and then we go off the radar for a couple of weeks then I cave in. Every situation is different. I'm sure there's a lot of things in common in our problem and we can help each other in that though. Link to post Share on other sites
really-broken Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 Agree with this. Chances are it's going to happen one way or another. Dont stick your nose where it doesnt belong and you will soon find out that ignorance is bliss. Even if you do reconcile and find out about it, its not like you can be mad. That would be like getting upset about finding out who she slept with prior to dating you. The only real exceptions are when family and close friends are involved. This makes sense, I think it is very hard to apply in the heat of the moment though, and when feelings are still involved and you find out as things are happening. Ignorance is bliss, but in my case, my mind imagines the scenarios between her and the other guy - sometimes to detail and it completely wrecks me. I just have an over active mind Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gt.ooh Posted October 14, 2010 Author Share Posted October 14, 2010 This makes sense, I think it is very hard to apply in the heat of the moment though, and when feelings are still involved and you find out as things are happening. Ignorance is bliss, but in my case, my mind imagines the scenarios between her and the other guy - sometimes to detail and it completely wrecks me. I just have an over active mind I haven't had to deal with finding out about anyone else yet. Not entirely sure how I'd handle it. I know now I'd be a lot better than a week ago. No matter what anyone says, or how long down the road..you can't hold it against them, but someone who was special to you..it hurts to face the facts. It has only been a monthyear (yea I created a word cause it feels like a year), so if anyone entered the picture right now be horibble to say the least. Sleeping in my condo, my furniture,..arg. I'm stopping now while I'm ahead because part of this healing isn't making asumptions. just bring me down. Link to post Share on other sites
really-broken Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 Yes think happy thoughts and remember that at some point you will let her go and you will find someone else. To me I had to find out that it was 2 or more guys since we broke up, and at the time when I found out my heart would start racing like the world's about to end. I still have triggers now that would make that happen. But I try and not think about some things. Sometimes my mind wanders and then I stop myself and say: No WE ARE NOT GOING THERE AGAIN. I miss her so much Link to post Share on other sites
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