Yesterday I caught her

[Darby5126]

My GF (28yrs) and I (50 yrs) have had an almost 2yr relationship that has been rocky at times (4-5) break-ups. A month ago we got back together after a two month period of NC. She came back to me apologizing for what she had done, (posted fake FB profile pic of her with another guy) and "wanted to make the relationship work". I gave her the chance. We have a great "reunion" of a week or so, and then she disappears for a weekend, then starts school, comes up with stupid excuses why she can't see me.

 

I confront her with this and she states that she has so many things on her plate and wants to "just date". OK, then she has trouble finding the time to actually date me. I become suspicious, and beging to check around. On a impulse, I went to an adress for the person in her

"fake" profile pic, and lo and behold, guess who's car is in his driveway? Then it is there the next night. She has obviously lied to me and is actually "dating" this other guy.

 

I know I cannot have a relationship with a cheater or liar. She says she still loves me etc.,, so, do I break up cold turkey w/o telling her about what I found, date her casually for some FWB while I date myself, or merely disappear and break it off stating the "dating thing" is just not working for me as I want a more LTR and right now you can't give that to me etc...what a shame she was a really good girl. Super dissapointed that she had to resort to this.

 

A final question, as she stated that "we were just dating" did that give her the green light to cheat? And was I mistaken by holding onto what I thought was a mutually exclusive relationship when it actually wasn't? Meaning my interest level was way above hers, (bad news) so she feels she is not doing anything wrong?

 

Hope my LS pals could chime in on this one.

[Yamaha]

break it off stating the "dating thing" is just not working for me as I want a more LTR

 

my interest level was way above hers,

 

 

My 2 cents.......

[somedude81]

Stating the obvious here, but maybe she's not too keen about having a serious long term relationship with a man 20 years older than her.

 

I'm also a little surprised that you do want something serious from her. I can understand the rush of being with somebody 20 years younger, but is it real or is she more of a toy?

[Bryanp]

Tell her you know that she is seeing this guy and break it off. It does sound like she is just not that into you. Why would you ever wish to continue dating a woman who is a liar and a cheater and who will put your health at risk for STD's? She does not respect you so what is the point? If you do not respect yourself then who will?

[thomasb]

What the heck does a 50yr old man have in common with a 28yr old anyway. You do realize you could be her father! I think you would find the level of maturity in women a little closer to your own age.

[ComeUndone]

What the heck does a 50yr old man have in common with a 28yr old anyway. You do realize you could be her father! I think you would find the level of maturity in women a little closer to your own age.

 

Uh, not necessarily. Maturity level varies person to person. People of all ages act just like her.. I know some 10 years older that are worse, and men of the same age that act like teenagers. Maybe the real difference between them lies in what they want from each other - maybe he is looking for something more established while she is not.

 

OP personally I think you should just break it off with her. I wouldn't explain what you found out... this is just going to bring out more lies from her that will likely make you start second-guessing yourself. You know what you know so I wouldn't bother with an explanation. Just check out and move on to someone better and healthier for you.