try to make her reason

[Oliver0]

My ex gf told me the other day that she wants to do something that might get her into trouble ...she doesn't see that way obviously, she really thinks it is a good idea , i tried to talk her over that but she was not having it ....i tried to call her today and she won't answer my calls !!

How can i make her see that her ideas are gonna bring in new problems or that the reason i was concerned is because i love her very much and i don't want to see her get hurt ...what can i do ?? Am i a bad person for wanting her to be away from troubles ??

[Lionblade]

Your question is very vague. Exactly what she trying to do that might get her in trouble?

[spiderowl]

Depends what kind of trouble. If, for example, she wanted to get involved with a known player-type guy and you were warning her off, she may not appreciate you telling her who she should be attracted to. (She probably would think about what you said though.)

 

It's a difficult one. Sometimes the problem is not that a friend wants to keep someone out of trouble but it's they way they are getting that message across. If you are effectively telling her she is being stupid for wanting to do something, for example, then you might not be understanding her own personal reasons. If you are indirectly threatening her with the loss of your friendship if she chooses a certain path, that won't go down well either.

 

I suppose the point is, are you being a friend or being judgemental? A friend will care and try to get you to see how things might go wrong or you might get in trouble.

 

Someone controlling and judgemental will pretend to be on your side but will actually be trying to get you to do what THEY want, regardless of whether it's in your interest. They might tell you you are being stupid and they will not forgive you if you go ahead. If you are being judgemental, then she might have no choice but to give up on you if she's still going to do whatever it is. The things you find wrong might not be the same as others. If it's about another guy, then you may be rather biased if you are attracted to your friend. There are many circumstances in which your attitude towards her could be coloured by your own hang-ups or jealousies.

 

If you are pretty sure none of this is involved and she is going to get into trouble with the law or something, then you can only warn her and let her decide whether she wants to stay friends or not.