My Unemployed and angry sister

[health]

Just wanting to vent. Ever since I read people with high self esteem to do not let other people walk all over them, treat them bad, or beat themselves up emotionally - I stopped putting up with alot of crap in my life.

 

My sister is 38 years old - she has not had a full time job in 13 years. She has also not been in a relationship for that long either. I think she was Agorophobic for a while as well.

 

She blames everything on everyone. She yells and calls my Mom a witch, which I feel is very emotionaly immature.

 

I always worked and lived on my own for 2 years, not I'm back at home.

I'm going to go to school soon as well. I take responsibility for my life.

 

She on the other hand, I don't even know what to do. Everyone has always tried to help her, but she has this rage and jealousy towards everything.

 

She thinks she's tis great artist but puts no work behind it. It's challenging.

[Shindig]

I can totally understand why that would be annoying. You're a good soul to put up with it. She is lucky to have you.

[nikayla]

Stop worrying about her lack of accomplishments, and focus on your personal achievements and well-being. Maybe your success will serve as a source of inspiration--if not, your ability to take a step back and refocus energy on yourself will minimize resentment. It is obvious that your mother, it seems, supports your sister's foolishness and her inability to succeed in life. You can choose to contribute to this cycle or not. Good luck with school!

[health]

Shindig - Thanks I apreciate it.

 

nikayla - I agree. That's what I'm trying to do.

I don't know what my Mom can do. She's always yelling at her and their always fighting.

 

Yesterday my brother was telling me that I have to do something cause I have a closer relationship to her.

I told her a million times though years ago.

 

He feels if I don't do anything I don't care.

 

The solution I believe is to get 100% independent and living on my own first! I believe independence is so important.

[EarthDweller]

well.. I think you're okay-- but, I relate to your sister. i however, well I'm a guy for one, but, I feel like your sister. Only, I did work but now I don't. So I'm on first year of unemployment. I must get a job or do something soon, otherwise in 10 years, I will be like your sister......

 

 

(I'm an artist too, go figure)

 

 

It's the creative bug. The fact, she sees the world as lame, and so her art is that way to communicate. But, 99% of artists will never make it, because art really is not about how good the art is, unless she's doing stuff so amazing strangers stop and go WHOA!! Otherwise, art is about people.. friends will like one's art regardless... And society will like her art if she shows she likes society back.

 

But, artists never want to join society because it's mainstream and that goes against art. She's still being "cool"

 

Your sister may have the impression people judge art for art.. and wonders why she isn't making it.

 

Ideally, if she chooses on her own to face reality, go to school, find part time jobs, start from scratch... that would be perfect.

 

 

You have to sometimes "trick" them into that. Artists are too stubborn. Sometimes, it takes some creativity on your part too.

 

Have you ever just found a company that 'seems' cool and has lot of those wacked out artsy types? Well pass that on to her....

 

 

You are her bro. You know what's really bothering her.. is it lack of love? Is it that she was never liked by men or had bad relationships?

 

 

Show that you know that. Artists are so .. uhh.. you need to hit their sweet spot... Only you know that.. I don't know her. But, I bet if I did.. I would know.. Sometimes, their issue is the most dumbest, smallest thing that happened 20 years ago.

 

 

Maybe a boy rejected her in 10th grade. Is she still holding on to that???

 

Ask her. But, I agree she's lucky to have you. Never make assumptions. But ASK.

 

 

 

You never once in your post mentioned her art. Is that how you interact with her?? To her, that may seem to be a sign of rejection. A passive way to say "sis, you're art isn't THAT good.. you need a job like all of us grown up bores" (not saying you're a bore ;p)

 

 

Artists want you to talk in contexts relating to their art... "So.. what you got going on this time?? Nicee... I like the blue... "

 

And make this be every convo you have. But .. set an example, you be the one to work, be succesfful.

 

 

Example and compliment... it's all you can do.

 

 

My sisters did that to me... and it worked. Sometimes, all it takes is a simple "cool dude".. without sympathy, without patronizing.. just.. "cool" and walk away. Then go to work.

 

Maybe when you get home, she will be a bit happier... It will connect one day... she'll make that connection.

[Brandi 2]

I know this is being a bit nosey, although how does she support herself? Does she live at home?

 

Hey hang in there. I am a bit concerned though because if you are living in the same house then that will cause depression with everyone, also a lack of motivation.